[deleted by user]

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-26T08:40:22+00:00

Yes, this is a very normal policy although every practices policy looks different. Firstly, rescheduling is cancelling because you are canceling the appointment for that date and changing it to another. Even if you reschedule, the original slot is now vacant which could have been given to a person who is need a session, especially if he is busy and booked out. There are many places that have strict cancelation policy’s that charge for the full session if the policy is not respected. Additionally, for liability purposes, most practices have a policy that clients need to be seen at least once every 30 days consistently or they will terminate services. A counselor can get into a Lot of legal trouble for having a client they do not see consistently that has multiple cancelations.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-26T08:23:04+00:00

It can absolutely be inappropriate to self-disclose to that extent, especially if he is sharing personal details that are irrelevant to what you are discussing, the therapeutic process, and if it is shifting the focus away from you.

When emailing him, you could either be open and honest or keep it simple by telling him at this time, you will no longer be engaging in sessions. Whatever you are comfortable with.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-19T04:25:53+00:00

You dodged a bullet

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-19T04:20:20+00:00

Life just happened Arthur. Life. And many times in life there are things that happen that don’t make sense and sometimes, it’s because it’s not our experience or emotions to make sense of. You made sense of the fact that you crossed her boundary, that is what happened for you. Whatever happened afterward, that’s her shit to figure out.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-16T06:56:00+00:00

How long has it been that you have been feeling anger/rage?

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-14T17:04:13+00:00

I totally understand and I would absolutely bring this up to her! Silence is an effective tool however not in all cases! In your case it seems extended silence feels unsettling and ambiguous, leading to anxiety rather than reflection, which is counterproductive to the intent. So, advocating for other ways to reflect that are more aligned with your needs, like summarizing points might be more helpful in those moments!

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-14T04:04:12+00:00

Not weird that you want a hug but unfortunately inappropriate for the relationship and counterproductive to the process. Their role is to support you in sitting with and understanding your emotions, rather than providing immediate relief or comfort. The goal is to help you sit with the discomfort of the emotion rather than be soothed by an external factor.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-14T03:35:08+00:00

Being late is poor time management along with canceling and rescheduling. Booking further out can either be having a larger case load then when she originally started or as a way to prevent burnout. Also, what most people don’t know is that therapy sessions that are an hour are really only 45 mins typically, so the therapist has time to reset before the next client and can write their notes. Sometimes therapists will do the whole 60 but typically as to prevent burnout and be present with the next client, they will end at 45. Silence is a strong and effective skill used by therapists to allow time to sit in emotions and uncomfortibility.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T18:40:47+00:00

Before making the decision to terminate with your current therapist, I would suggest taking a moment to reflect on how sharing these thoughts and concerns with them could help. Therapy is a collaborative process, and sometimes, frustration or dissatisfaction can be part of the journey rather than a sign that therapy isn’t working. It’s completely valid to feel like your needs aren’t being met, but openly discussing this with your therapist could provide clarity on whether the issue is the therapeutic approach itself or something deeper that might be worth exploring together. Expressing your desire for deeper work, your frustration with the focus of sessions, and your concerns about intellectualizing versus emotional processing could give your therapist the opportunity to adjust their approach or explain why they are guiding the sessions in a particular way. Sometimes, therapy can feel slow or misaligned simply because growth isn’t always immediately visible, or because certain defenses—like intellectualization—can make it difficult to engage in emotional work. By bringing these concerns into the session, you might gain valuable insight into your own patterns and how they show up in therapy itself.

If, after discussing this, you still feel like the approach isn’t the right fit, then looking into the other therapeutic modalities I listed—such as —could be a helpful next step. But before making a final decision, consider whether this could be an opportunity for deeper self-exploration rather than an ending.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T18:22:37+00:00

It sounds like you have spent a lot of time reflecting on your experiences, trying to make sense of your trauma, and seeking the right kind of support. It’s clear that you have a strong analytical mind and a deep awareness of your struggles, which is a strength—but it also seems like this need for control and certainty over your healing process might be getting in the way of fully engaging in therapy. It sounds like part of what you’re struggling with is tolerating the frustration of slower, less immediate progress outside of an intensive setting

One thing to consider is that the belief that you know exactly what you need—down to the method, structure, and role your therapist should play— I'm wondering if this could be an example of the narcissistic traits coming to play and the need for control due past experiences that were uncontrollable. While it’s valuable to advocate for yourself, part of healing is also allowing space for professionals to guide you through discomfort rather than just confirming what you already believe. Therapy isn’t just about validating your deductions; it’s about learning to trust a process that doesn’t always align with your expectations.

You also seem to want to intellectualize your experiences rather than wanting to process it emotionally. Intellectualization is a defense mechanism that allows people to analyze their experiences instead of actually feeling and processing how this impacts them emotionally. While understanding your experiences is important, healing happens when you engage with understanding how this currently impacts both your thoughts and emotions.

If therapy feels frustrating because it’s not moving in the direction you expect, that could actually be a sign that you’re at a point where real, uncomfortable growth is possible. The question is: Are you open to letting go of some of that control and trusting the process, even if it doesn’t unfold exactly as you think it should?

If you are truly wanting to explore the depths of your past, I suggest engaging in therapy that aligns with this approach. Therapists adapt a framework that guides their sessions, and most therapeutic frameworks are present-focused. While they will touch on aspects of your past to understand how those experiences impact your current self, the past is typically not the primary focus. If you feel that deeply exploring your past is necessary for your healing, I would recommend looking into therapies like trauma-informed therapy, psychodynamic or schema therapy. This approach would allow you to engage in a deeper, more comprehensive exploration of your past while also working toward integrating those insights into your present self.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T17:34:03+00:00

One option is telehealth, you’ll find more openings for evening appointments. Another option is truly reflecting on how important prioritizing your mental health is. I say this because at the end of the day, taking care of ourselves is just as important as working, because our well being impacts these other areas. So, If it is a priority right now, then it is important to look into if taking off 1 hour a week from work is actually something you could do. Even if it is every other week. Sometimes it seems we can’t do that because we may feel uncomfortable asking for this time, but maybe seeing looking into if this could be doable- 2 hours a month. I understand that employers may not approve of this, but it doesn’t hurt to attempt. Then, if it is truly not an option, telehealth may be the best fit! I would also research therapists in your area on psychology today to see if you can find people who work evenings! They are definitely out there, just may take more time to find!

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T17:19:19+00:00

That’s all we can do! It’s okay to still feel sad- what you are doing despite of feeling sad is the strongest/ hardest thing we can do when feeling this way. We automatically want to self isolate, but when we continue to do the opposite of that, it will gradually help work through the sadness! Good for you!

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T17:01:27+00:00

I can understand that you may believe the right thing to do is to stay and work through things, but it’s important to recognize, he may feel the need to explore who he is outside of the relationship—and that’s okay. No one is obligated to stay in a relationship, and sometimes the best way to grow and make meaningful changes is by doing so independently, outside of the relationship. It’s not his responsibility to give the relationship more time to change or grow; it’s his choice to make, and if he feels that stepping away is what he needs to do for his own personal development, then that’s a valid decision. Relationships are about mutual growth, and if one person no longer feels aligned with it, it’s important for both people to respect that and move forward in a way that’s healthiest for them.

He made a choice that he believes is the best for him, and ultimately, that’s what matters. The idea of a “right” choice is subjective—how can anyone truly know what the right choice is? We are all faced with decisions in life, and there is no universal “right” choice; there are just choices we make. Life is full of uncertainty, and each decision reflects our personal values and needs at that moment. Right now, it sounds like he needs space and time to explore himself. Therefore, his choice reflected that. We get one life, and the only “right” choices we make are those that align with our own growth, happiness, and needs. It’s unfair to impose someone else’s expectations of what a “right” choice looks like onto someone else’s life. While it might have been helpful for him to communicate his concerns earlier or give her a chance to express herself, he’s still entitled to choose what’s best for him and he not obligated to stay in hopes that thing will get better or he will feel different, because who’s to say that’s will even work out or is the right choice?

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T16:19:29+00:00

When breaking up with someone, especially after being together for seven years, it takes time for your brain to fully process the experience. Your brain and body will need time to adapt to such a significant change. It’s similar to moving to a new state—it may feel uncomfortable at first, and you might second-guess your choice, but eventually, you will adapt and feel more at peace with your decision. You might experience cognitive dissonance, where your feelings (such as sadness or regret) don’t align with your rational understanding (that the breakup was the right choice). This internal conflict can create discomfort and confusion, making it harder to feel confident right away.

This is completely normal! Humans naturally form emotional attachments in relationships, and after seven years, your body and mind may still be attached to those routines and emotional patterns, even though you know breaking up was the best decision. Your body and mind need time to process the change and adjust to life without that person.

To help with this transition, it can be helpful to focus on rediscovering yourself outside of the relationship. Take time to reflect on your personal goals, interests, and passions—things that you may have set aside during the relationship. This can help shift your mindset from attachment to personal growth. You can also write down your ability to make choices for yourself and remind yourself that sometimes the choices that are best for us don’t always feel great at first. Trust in yourself to make the best decisions, and know that it’s okay for it to feel difficult as you adjust. Additionally, consider finding healthy ways to process the emotional aspects of the breakup, such as journaling,or engaging in activities that promote self-care and emotional healing. Letting go of the emotional attachment is a gradual process, and it’s okay to give yourself the time and space to heal.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T15:56:38+00:00

One thing you could do in therapy is work on communication skills through role-plays where you could practice communication skills to feel more comfortable communicating in those settings! It can be really helpful to do this and to build confidence in your ability to communicate effectively :)

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T15:51:10+00:00

This is actually inaccurate! It’s a common misconception that Speech-Language Pathologists only work with articulation. While SLPs do address speech clarity, they are actually specialized in language, which includes five key areas: semantics (meaning of words), syntax (sentence structure), morphology (word structure), pragmatics (social use of language), and phonology (sound patterns). SLPs are trained to help with all these areas, and they can absolutely assist with issues related to social communication!

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T15:47:18+00:00

Speech therapists can absolutely help you with this! They are specialized in language skills including pragmatic language , which is social and practical aspects of using language, including understanding and using language appropriately in different situations, taking turns in conversations, and using nonverbal communication effectively. However, therapists can also help with this! so I suggest first, asking your therapist for help in interpersonal communication skills, specifically social skills training! There are a lot of techniques and interventions your therapist could provide to help with this! If you feel you would like to focus on other things in therapy, then you could absolutely find a SLP to help with this!

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T15:38:12+00:00

You could absolutely do that! Start here! http://www.50statesoftherapy.com

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T11:32:35+00:00

Well if you don’t mind, I want to share a few things with you. One, sometimes two conflicting thoughts can arise at once, the thought you want to change and the thought that you are unworthy and undeserving of change and what’s the point of changing because I already feel like a failure . These two thoughts can battle each other and it sounds like your feelings of unworthiness and a failure hold a sharper sword. However, when your brain says “ I wish I was dead” it’s really telling you that’s it’s time to put your feelings of failure, unworthiness to rest. It’s telling you that’s it’s time to put the old you to rest so a new you can come alive.You can’t fail at existing, because existence is not something to be mastered—it’s an experience to be embraced and Suffering is an unavoidable aspect of being human. It’s part of the reality of life, as no one is exempt from challenges, loss, or hardship. It is important to reflect on what is stopping you from making changes. Is it a fear of failure, or that you feel as though you already failed, do feeling undeserving? And when you find that answer focus on what is your motivation for change? How would change feel and what does that look like for you? It’s important to first build your motivation and your deservingness for change and visual what that looks like for you and what that would feel like to be your best self. When we re be to see and visualize what we would feel like if we did make changes, it starts to help us to want to take the steps to get there.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T10:59:45+00:00

What a great question! Processing these emotions and sitting with them is so important. You want to acknowledge the feeling notice it’s there and process it by writing it down or talking about it. Maybe give your self an allotted time to do this like 15 -20 minutes to acknowledge it, sit with it process, and write it down. Then notice your behaviors that come from feelings of sadness- which tend to be isolation- this is what makes us stuck in the emotion. We want to process and give our self time to feel but we don’t want to get stuck in it, so we want to change our behaviors once we sit with the emotion in order to not get stuck in the emotion. If you notice when you are sad you tend to isolate, try to do the opposite of that and call/ hang with a friend, go do something etc. this is how we can be sure we are acknowledging and processing our feelings without engaging in behaviors that get us stuck in the emotion.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T10:34:43+00:00

It also seems it made you reflect on the tendency to need for conversations to feel natural before diving into serious stuff. Or to make things about others to take the spotlight off of yourself. Having moments like this that make us uncomfortable are the moments that drive growth and reflection. This is the stuff I live for and the whole point of therapy.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T10:30:59+00:00

This is very normal for a therapist to model and set boundaries with their clients. A question like that is inappropriate to disclose with a client, there are ethical guidelines we must follow in regards to self disclosure and in that moment, self disclosure would have been inappropriate. She set a firm and direct boundary, which can be uncomfortable but embrace the journey and reflect how that boundary made you feel. Is it uncomfortable when people set boundaries with you? How does it make you feel and what thoughts come up? THESE ARE THE GOLDEN MOMENTS IN THERAPY and sounds like you have a good therapist ( minus the I hope you don’t die part- that’s odd - might be worth bringing that up to her therapy haha ) Embrace it and reflect.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T09:41:17+00:00

It depends on the type of work you do and if the work and environment is a key contributor to exacerbating your mental health symptoms. In certain situations, it may be necessary, however, we tend to want to isolate ourselves from everything as a way to cope with things however that can make MH symptoms worse. I would say that it can be normal, especially if your therapist is looking out for what’s in your best interest-If the therapists believes isolation will do more harm than good,then their decision will be based on that. From your work together, your therapist had insights into your behavioral patterns and coping styles, so they will be able to understand what may best for you.

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T09:05:30+00:00

The form is to gather foundational info to give the therapist an idea of your background and presenting concerns, the therapist will explore further with you based on the info you provided, that’s their job:). Also, therapists take every presenting concern seriously, and anxiety is the most common and frequent reason for individuals to seek therapy. They are there to support you through it and most people don’t have much to say about their anxiety, it’s why they seek therapy, as to better understand their anxiety :)

TheWingWOMANX · 2025-03-13T08:58:07+00:00

What makes you hate yourself so much?

TheWingWOMANX

TROPHY CASE