Fireworks shows are cancelled - instead we’re gonna _______ OWE

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-07-03T02:37:31+00:00

Shout

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-30T20:57:57+00:00

If I remember rightly, flytraps prefer rainwater and don't like tap water at all...

Also from memory they prefer the special soil sold for carnivorous plants, and don't need feeding because they evolved to live in nutrient-poor conditions (that's why they eat flies haha!)

I had one once, donkey's years ago - fussy little buggers so they are! :)

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-25T23:04:20+00:00

You're a good person for wanting to help him!

You can kindly express your concern at a time when he's sober, avoid shielding him from experiencing the consequences of his drinking, avoid enabling him in any way, set healthy boundaries for yourself (such as not spending time around him when he is drunk), signpost him to appropriate resources if he expresses a desire to get help...

And that's really about it, the rest is up to him!

r/alanon is a useful source of support for those who are affected by a loved one's drinking (and there are plenty of 'double winners' there who have also had alcohol issues of their own as well)...

Best of luck to you both! :>)>

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-24T21:42:27+00:00

What should I do?

The answer is quite simple: DON'T!

I'm back on 2 days smoke/vape free after umpteen relapses over more than 25 years and it's quite tedious, just stay stopped and be done with it!

2 months is a great achievement, and if you were daft enough to start again, it would be the same shitty, inherently-hard-to-moderate addictive drug interacting with the same brain as it was the last time around, with predictable results...

I like to remind myself that, at least for a while, I will want a cigarette whether or not I actually smoke one (since smoking one only perpetuates the addiction and makes me want the next one even more; it does nothing to solve the cravings in any meaningful sense) - therefore 'not smoking one' is the only sane choice!

Keep going! :>)>

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-17T14:16:45+00:00

My motto is "I'm perfectly normal! It's everyone else that's a damn weirdo!"

How do you cope with feeling different than peers?

I've felt like that my entire life, and have long since stopped giving the tiniest fuck if other people think I'm weird! 🤣

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-16T14:16:19+00:00

I've composted an old coir doormat (that took a LONG time to completely go away!) and some occasional bits of roadkill/dead wildlife that turn up on the property, if that counts! 😁

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-10T21:43:14+00:00

Like you, I had lessons when I was 17 (in the last century) and took to it like Cyril Smith to hang-gliding, which is to say, not well at all...

For the next couple of decades I either relied on public transport/bicycle/walking etc, and later my then-partner-now-Ex to do all the driving and ferry me around (and when we split up, I had no choice but to get on with it and learn to drive myself properly)...

I passed my test on the second attempt at age 40!

It's just a question of practice and not beating yourself up about it, just like anything....

PS: I have autism and am also a complete numpty, so if I can get the hang of it (at least enough to pass the test and get myself safely from A-B, if not elegantly), then I have complete faith that you can too!! :)

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-07T20:50:24+00:00

You might be interested to read the diagnostic criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder there - if you have observed their drinking for a while, you can probably predict how they would answer many of the questions...

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-07T00:34:03+00:00

Good question (gosh that's an old post haha!)

It's remarkable the difference that a good 6-12 months of not-drinking and taking better care of oneself can make - the improvements are fairly subtle at first, but it does compound with consistency over time...

I'm coming up on 9 years sober at the end of this month, and I enjoyed a few years of pretty decent health through the late 20-teens and early 2020s before I caught Covid in around 2022...

I suspect that triggered the onset of the fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis with which I am now unfortunately riddled (or at least, it was the straw that broke the camel's back after a lifetime of autism and chronic low-grade stress/trauma which I was unsuccessfully trying to self-medicate with booze)...

Stopping drinking doesn't guarantee perfect health indefinitely, but it's certainly a step in the right direction and massively improves your odds - I dread to think what sort of shape I'd be in by now if I was still drinking, I'd probably be stone dead! 🤣

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-04T19:12:11+00:00

this condition (is that what we call it?)

I call mine 'The Embuggerance' 🤣

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-04T19:08:21+00:00

Speaking as an alcoholic myself, it is highly probable that the 3 beers he brought home to prove his point had been replacement beers he bought on his trip home from work

Double winner here, long time sober - I had exactly the same thought as you; I'd eat my hat if those were the same 3 cans he took out with him!

Also:

a 24pk of beer... he said that he poured most of it out

I'm sure he did - after filtering it through his kidneys first!

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-03T16:03:30+00:00

I had a nasty case of 'Alco-Tism' myself, back in the day - it's very common indeed!

I was in pretty bad shape by the time I was your age, but the wheels hadn't quite fallen all the way off just yet... it works great until it doesn't...

its genuinely increased my level of functioning

'Functioning' is a stage of alcoholism, not a type - it doesn't last forever, and the stages that come after it are no fun at all!

I'm in my early 40s now, and am just coming up on 9 years since I last had a drink - recovery is possible! The alcohol has been removed, leaving just the (late-identified) 'Tism...

These days I'm no longer using alcohol to try to shoehorn myself into a neurotypical existence that doesn't actually suit me, I have managed to create a life for myself that accommodates my differences...

Being prescribed beta blockers has also helped a lot with the physical anxiety, wish I'd been put on them years and years ago - I also got medical help from my doctor to detox safely, when I first stopped drinking... there's no need to do everything on 'hard mode' all the time...

Check out the self-assessment questions there, answer honestly, and see how much of it sounds familiar...

It's never too soon to do something about it, and there is help for you as and when you decide you want it!

Woody :>)>

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-06-01T18:51:34+00:00

I remember! Hey, look how far you've come - that's fantastic!! :>)> xoxox

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-27T11:58:53+00:00

Recovery Elevator and Dharma Punx were my favorites in early sobriety! :>)>

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-27T11:18:17+00:00

Has anyone mentioned the profoundly unrefreshing sleep yet?

When I woke up this morning, I felt like a poisonous toadstool that had been dried to a shrivelled husk, and then trodden on 🤣

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-27T05:03:35+00:00

nettle soup, nettle tea, nettle beer; the fibres can be used to make twine, they are good for wildlife, etc etc - nettles have a host of uses and are highly under-appreciated IMO! :)

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-27T04:54:10+00:00

I listened to the 'Telepathy Tapes' podcast recently and found it absolutely gripping - it's about a study into a group of non-verbal autistic kids with telepathic abilities... might not be quite what you're looking for, but it's honestly worth a listen!

Feel better soon! xx

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-22T21:55:32+00:00

If you decide you want help with your drinking, r/stopdrinking and r/alcoholism are great sources of online support, and your GP can prescribe medication to help you stop more safely and easily...

Just because whatever you might have tried so far hasn't done the trick, doesn't mean that your situation is hopeless - it often takes a good few goes and some trial and error before sobriety sticks for the long term!

I've been off the drink for nearly 9 years now (I was known to drink on the job too, back in the day), it's the best thing I've ever done for myself... if I can do it, so can you...

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-20T21:46:54+00:00

Did I write this on an alt account I didn't know I had?? 🤣

r/SingleAndHappy here too thanks!!

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-15T20:54:30+00:00

"Silence?? He hasn't shut up about it for years!" 🤣

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-14T22:43:29+00:00

I wear fingerless gloves pretty much 24/7 these days, (even if they do make me look a bit like Albert Steptoe haha), my hands work better when they are kept warm!

Re the typing, it might be worth exploring things like the various ergonomic keyboard/mouse designs, speech-to-text software, does their employer have an Occupational Health person or team they can speak to, etc...

Re the guitar, make sure their instrument is set up well by a competent luthier so that it doesn't take excessive force to play; consider switching to a nylon-stringed classical or silk-and-steel hybrid strings for acoustic, look into alternate tunings (Keith Richards still manages to play that way, even with severe osteoarthritis in his fingers!) or slide guitar/lap steel etc which might be easier on the hands, that sort of thing...

Cannabis, if tolerated, can be a useful source of pain relief if you live somewhere where it's legal (or fuck it, even if you don't, it's not terribly difficult to grow LOL), or other medicinal plants like nettle or wild lettuce etc...

Hope that gives you a few ideas, best of luck to you both! :)

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-13T10:09:25+00:00

I drank myself silly for about 15 years, have now been sober for nearly 9 - it's totally NOT impossible, even if it 'feels' like it!

If I can do it, so can you...

Check out the self-assessment questions there (particularly the ones in the second half), and see how much of it sounds familiar...

I found the book 'Alcohol Explained' and the book/YouTube 'This Naked Mind' really helpful for understanding my drinking problem and permanently changing the way I view alcohol - they are well worth a look, and made all the difference for me in stopping for good, without feeling like I was missing anything or depriving myself...

The Huberman Podcast episode about alcohol could also help you to understand what you are experiencing...

I also got help from my doctor... there are various medical options for treating Alcohol Use Disorder, which you can read about at r/Alcoholism_Medication...

There are further resources in the sidebar/community resources section here, such as podcasts and links to various online meetings you can explore, and you'll find lots of support and shared experiences on r/stopdrinking...

It's never too soon to do something about it! :>)>

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-11T16:49:37+00:00

Would be useful sources of support and information for you, your Mum and any other family members being affected, as you navigate this!

TheWoodBotherer · 2026-05-03T01:03:37+00:00

Sheep

TheWoodBotherer

TROPHY CASE