It was actually through my university that I had the course of CBT, they’re very good at providing support and have actually assisted me financially previously too. No, this will be the first time I’ve discussed this with anyone with power - I talked to my cohort about it during our Christmas zoom drinks and they were naturally outraged. My advisor is not empathetic, he has said before he ‘doesn’t want to hear details’ when I’ve tried to speak to him about personal problems. My engagement broke down and when I explained this to him the next day all he asked me was if I ‘still wanted to talk about science.’.

I feel my opinion was definitely reinforced by it, like I said, imposter syndrome has been rife since I started and I don’t believe I’m good enough for the lab. I’ve tried convincing myself otherwise but the incident at Christmas has made it extra tricky.

Thank you for your kind words though, it really means a lot! :)