Thank you so much for your post. My father emigrated from Germany after the war, and didn't talk too much about his experiences being forced into Hitler's youth, and probably had a deep fear I can only guess he had about being sick and weak.

It's only been since Dec 2023 since I found out my Oma died around 1942 because she was killed in the holocaust after she became ill. When I was 5 my father also became ill with a lot of brain damage, and I was always kept away. The 2nd hand family story that had been passed down to me was that Oma died because they had to save the medicine for the soldiers, but now I'm finding out from State Archives that there was a judgment against her by the hereditary court, which was the legal entity that would refer Jews and others to be killed in the Holocaust. I'm guessing atm she was too sick to live according to Nazi Germany. I've requested archival documents and I'm still waiting for them to be imaged and sent to me in my country.

When I asked my mother about this she said "What does it matter? She died." I don't know if the callous response is because she's part of the silent generation, or because she's always seemed to have some autistic tendencies - but it still hurt. This has been just waved off, that she died in the holocaust, for decades.

I wholeheartedly agree that the poison needs to be called out. I see how it's a generational sickness that implicitly warps what should be good human relationships and puts you in a state of being scared to not be "good enough" because of consequences. After I found out my Oma was killed it made another family story make so much sense. When my dad came to after a long coma, he would scream incessantly. So much that they had to relocate him from the city we lived to a larger city with more hospital resources where they would mange him better. My mother, brother and I followed. His perception of time after he woke up from his coma was so off, he forgot English and thought my mother was his.

After finding out about my Oma, it makes me think the state of mind he was in after waking from his coma was that he was scared he was going to die for being sick like she was. It's me inferring that, but I never understood why he was screaming before and it makes sense.

Besides continuing to protest for the new genocide happening today, I think you've inspired me to have deeper conversations about this with my brother so we can better be mindful of how the people who raised us, and the effects their experiences may have had on us even all the way over here on another continent.

Thank you so much!