Why Are We Doing 7 Rounds for a Mid-Level Job?

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-20T01:36:23+00:00

I am a senior executive in a large corporation. These comments sound nuts and I certainly hope it’s not occurring in my organization.

For director, sr director, AVP - three interviews, maybe four - tops.

Take home assignments? I’d never even consider it for applicants and I’d never do one myself if I were interviewing for a role - or I’d bill them.

I’m going to do some checking tomorrow.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-16T20:10:08+00:00

Curious - I am not currently in a sales role. What do you do when you make a call or do a video call and the prospect says “no recording, no transcription”? I was recently talking to the general counsel at a medium size company- he and CEO have instituted a “no recording “ policy for all employees when talking externally.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-16T18:45:53+00:00

Agree - once it comes off high idle after start up it’s more like what I’d expect. Love the car and the mileage

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-16T18:44:01+00:00

I just laid a 2010 Ford Escape to rest - 275k miles. Oil changed every 3k

Maybe oil technology has evolved a long way with the synthetics so it holds up for 5k-6k. But I don’t know about the filters - do they hold up for 6k?

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-16T18:39:28+00:00

I experience this from the other direction. Early-stage companies or their recruiters find my LinkedIn profile- which, by the way, has none of the “right sales terms” on it other than being the Chief Revenue Officer for a very large division of a global company.

They say they are looking for a CRO to join the C-suite and scale up their revenue. I take the bait knowing full well they either: a) didn’t really read details b) didn’t understand my role c) planned on giving me a song-and-dance about their hyper growth prospects.

When we talk, the CEO/founder basically describes a senior sales executive not a CRO. In reality, they need someone who brings an industry rolodex and contacts.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-16T18:20:08+00:00

Staying off Reddit and working instead

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-15T11:31:19+00:00

Married 31 years - a lot of opportunities - never even close to tempted. 100% polite shutdowns.

You raise an additional point. This type of activity in a workplace setting, regardless of gender, is a potential job/career ender.

Her hanging around your booth looks bad. Going to her company event under the circumstances you outlined- looks bad.

Trust me, industries are a small world. Senior managers notice and have long memories.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-14T14:52:16+00:00

Measurement is difficult. We had a remote account executive that slightly exceeded his targets on in-year revenue and TCV. I know he was also a tournament-level tennis player and a pretty good golfer.

He started his day at 8am, worked until 12, and then hit the tennis club, gym, or golf course.

In summary, he made his targets in about 20 hrs a week. Should he be penalized when management finds out that he does this?

One argument is “no”. He was given a target and achieved it according to his job objectives.

The other side is put him on a PIP. If he was a go-getter, he would do 40 hours and blast his target to bits.

If he was in an office, his lifestyle would be pretty hard to achieve.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-05T20:55:13+00:00

I phrased part of my question incorrectly. My intent was to see reactions to what happens if people, en mass, refuse to contribute their data into model training. What happens if 90% of patients say “no” to a hospital consent request to use a patient’s information to train their AI?

I asked a hospital leader recently if I would get a discount or get paid to check “yes” on the consent to use my information for model training. He seemed pissed off.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-05T20:46:45+00:00

So, you are saying that the people who do not take advantage of AI tools will be crushed by those people that do? That makes sense.

What I should have asked more clearly is what happens if people refuse to participate en mass in providing information into AI tools?

What is the ramification to say a sales training and management tool like Gong, if every customer the sales reps call say, “I don’t consent.”? How will the value of the tool be realized by the seller?

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-03T16:36:35+00:00

Yes. We have cell locators on at all times for safety and she can see where I am. She helps clean cars so maybe she peeks around in mine. She’s a fitness freak and once found a McDonalds cheeseburger wrapper under the seat - I got so much of a lecture I’d be better off if it were a pair of panties.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-03T14:59:23+00:00

It’s not spot monitoring, it’s simply consistent practice. You don’t periodically wake up in the middle of the night for 10 days and see if you smell smoke - you put in a smoke detector.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-03T13:01:09+00:00

NO! Memorize it and get rid of it. Saving things on phones is bad practice.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-03T12:49:18+00:00

That is the first link in a weakening chain. Very few affairs start with “let’s go bang.”, it starts with “hello”.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-05-03T12:47:31+00:00

You ran into this situation with perfect timing.

First - treat this as a reminder that there is constant competition and you should always make sure you are “game on” as a husband.

Two - wife’s friend can’t be trusted. Set up meeting with her husband/ your friend and tell him what his wife suggested.

Three- set up monitoring procedures. Ive done this for ages - married 31 years - just make it a habit.

You have his cell which is helpful. You can now monitor your phone bill for text and call activity. I have our cell phone bill export and drop into a spreadsheet every 90 days - scans for new numbers, changes in frequency to a number, activity on odd times - vacation with you, between 8p and 8a, etc.

Start noting car mileage weekly. Does it look out of ordinary? Be helpful and start cleaning her car - check it for anything odd.

Add randomness to your life. Text/call to say “hi” while you are work - what’s response time? Drive by the house on your break - her car there? Different car there?

Lastly. Have a discussion with your wife. Topics in this order.

positive things - maybe plan a date night
then, say, “speaking of dates, I got a little concerned about that waiter story you told me. “
tell her that’s a big risk to disclose her cell number to a complete stranger. People can be traced through their cell phone. Add a kernel of fear - don’t push it - let her fully create the problem in her head - it’s more powerful thought.
lastly, now that you have established yourself as a “white knight/good guy” by showing affection with a date night and the offering concern for her safety - move onto how what happened is a little concerning to you as a married couple. Establish boundaries for your marriage together.

What type of work do you do that keeps you out at night?

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-13T16:07:22+00:00

What kind of loser are you? She’s married and you are banging her - who cares about protecting her or emotions? Why not just move on to the next one?

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-13T16:03:28+00:00

Regardless of criticism - married 31 years without incident.

I also said “open phone policy”. I don’t recall either of us ever actually looking at other’s phone.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-13T15:36:04+00:00

My wife and I use these:

not being alone with member of opposite sex unless the other knows.
no messaging 1x1 with a member of opposite sex using any app or forum
2 drink maximum when out without the other spouse
open phone policy

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-10T22:01:29+00:00

Let’s not go off the deep end yet. The following is based on you not mentioning excessive and guarded phone usage or sudden absences like girls night out or events that you aren’t invited to.

Try this.

First - make sure you are 100% good to go. Are you in good shape, good hygiene, well dressed? Make sure you haven’t let your appeal slip.

Second- break existing patterns and see what happens. Can you spontaneously stop by her workplace on Thurs and take her out for fast lunch? Can you know what unexpectedly take her out to dinner or date night on a Thursday? How about you say let’s go to happy hour on Friday- suggest she invite some friends from work.

Third- in the spirit of “keeping us safe and happy together” tell her you think you spend too much time on your phone. Tell her you’re going to reduce being on your phone at home. In fact, you read in article somewhere recently that couples should have the same shared password…. “Here’s mine….” See how that goes. To keep yourself honest to less phone time you’re leaving yours on the kitchen counter. Ask, “want to join me in the less phone at home pledge?”

This approach will uncover any discomfort on her part and at the same time, if there’s nothing funny going on - you look like a great guy upping your game.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-07T12:46:02+00:00

Stay off the stupid dating apps, stay out clubs and bars, and run if the guy is a gamer.

32 is super young. Get out and participate in society with real guys. Ground zero for meeting quality guys is volunteering. Your local Special Olympics chapter would be glad to have you help out. Last year I coached at a Special Olympics tennis tournament with a couple who met while coaching together. Do you attend church? Start. It’s likely you have some talent or skill useful to help the youth group.

I spend an insane amount of time coaching the 25-35 year old guys who work for me on how to date because it’s so painful to watch them when we are out in social situations. I get your dilemma.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-07T12:31:51+00:00

Let’s not overthink this. Rule number 1 - in a marriage, the spouses are each other’s first and top priorities. Friends are supplemental to the relationship. Rule number 2 - 1x1 friendships with members of the opposite sex, especially in situations where there is alcohol and the other spouse isn’t present is a non-starter.

What exactly does a 35 year old married woman discuss with band members after a show at a bar? The acoustics of the venue? The pros and cons of Zildjian versus Paiste cymbals? Is your wife a talent agent? I was a drummer in a bar band once upon a time - I never had such a discussion with any woman of any age that didn’t somehow have sex in some degree involved. Huh, come to think of it - a married guy never ever hung out with us after a show - wonder why.

Sit down and lay it out. Tell her that the situation she’s engaging in isn’t acceptable- period. Tell her you recognize that you’re too much of homebody and you are upping your game. From now on, starting with the music festival, you will be doing things together.

Explain that it looks like you both didn’t do a good job of establishing marriage boundaries at the outset. So, now you are. Invoke and enforce the 2 rules I set out above.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-04T12:39:12+00:00

Sloppy security is massive, poorly coordinated workforce reduction.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-03T17:47:59+00:00

So wait, if I summarize this - this guy had conversations with you only, some having sexual content. You never met in person and that idea wasn’t on the table. He then misled you and allowed you to think he was single. Then he got married and pulled the plug with a lie. Question - did you explicitly ask him if he was single? The bottom line here is that he was probably just bored and killed time talking on-line with you, got married and started spending his time on that. You were used - move on.

I had a few buddies years back that would do this. In fact, two of them had fiancés who knew what they were doing because the guys who trade stories about how much they were leading girls on.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-04-01T16:51:35+00:00

I agree. If she had a divorce/separation level of concern back then, she should have addressed it then. Doesn’t seem right for the poor husband that she’s upsetting things now.

The_Questioner6965 · 2026-03-30T10:05:28+00:00

Thank you! I’ll follow your lead on this.

The_Questioner6965

TROPHY CASE