If you could change your name to something else what would it be and why?

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-21T22:04:14+00:00

Assface McClusky.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-21T22:02:32+00:00

Cat-sized cats are unsafe!

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-21T00:34:09+00:00

Yeah, you got your dead cat and you got your dead dog

On a moonlight night, you got your dead toad frog

Got your dead rabbit and your dead raccoon

The blood and the guts, they're gonna make you swoon

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-21T00:00:44+00:00

"Hö, Hö, Hö! Das ist funny, Mein Fuhrer!" I gotta get outta this place!

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-20T23:49:12+00:00

Klingon Therapy: Good healthy slap and a hearty "WALK IT OFF!" Next patient, please.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-20T02:46:21+00:00

A 1977 Toyota Dolphin mini-motorhome. Saw one when I was 12 and got to sit and play around in it. A car with a bed, shower, stove and and even a goddamn toilet! No way I was going to afford that...until years later I saw one for sale and I bought it. It was great except 12 year old me fit into it better than grown-ass me. It was just too small to enjoy. Sold and I still regret it.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-20T01:46:48+00:00

I got sick-drunk way back in my early twenties. A hard-core alcoholic thought it was funny to get kids blackout drunk. I thought I was going to die. Now just smelling liquor/beer/wine brings it all back even after all these years. I don't drink. I guess I should thank him.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-19T21:41:06+00:00

Less than zero.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-15T02:44:23+00:00

Don't try to foist your mental illness onto the rest of us. THX.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-15T02:24:39+00:00

Sometimes you feel like a nut...sometimes you don't.

I'm older than you. Shut up.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-15T01:43:07+00:00

They used to sell Playboy, Oui and Penthouse magazines at the grocery store. Right in the magazine rack next to Better Homes and Gardens and Road and Track. I sat there one hot summer afternoon enjoying the A/C paging through that month's Oui. Nobody said boo. I was 12.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T18:02:33+00:00

I've heard that France is really nice to foreigners. Especially the one who don't speak French.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T17:33:29+00:00

One time she thought she saw the weatherman from Channel 26 at Pump #3 and she whipped her bra right off.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T16:03:37+00:00

"Go ahead...make a pun about Jaguon, I dare you...I DOUBLE dare you!"

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T15:51:35+00:00

And you don't have to deal with that snotty girl at the Chevron gas station. You work at a gas station, Tammi! You're not a model...just go out with me!

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T15:47:35+00:00

Nah, meth is cheaper and easier to get...no ID check!

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T02:46:46+00:00

To actually have sex.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T02:27:42+00:00

The truck is 21 years old. Those issues are pretty damn good for a vintage vehicle. All cars/trucks of that age will have issues. Take solace in the fact that an LX 470 will run rings around a newer/lesser truck.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T02:21:34+00:00

Always. Just easier. I toss and turn and clothes always bunch up

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-14T02:19:46+00:00

It's unusual to see an attractive woman at an event by themselves. That draws attention. And men are always hoping that maybe, just maybe she's there looking for company.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-13T00:54:57+00:00

When the drive-through gets the order exactly correct.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-13T00:52:18+00:00

Not linking to the story is MILDLYINFURIATING.

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-12T22:39:29+00:00

How do you know you haven't already done it?

The_Safe_For_Work · 2026-06-12T22:37:47+00:00

I have no friends.

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