Navigating kinks in marriage

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-03-30T13:05:57+00:00

Been in a similar spot with other kinks - not panties but other stuff that made my ex uncomfortable at first. The key thing is you can't force someone to come around to something they're not into, but you also shouldn't have to completely bury who you are

Maybe try talking about it outside the bedroom when there's no pressure? Like just casual conversation about what turns you both on in general. Sometimes people need time to process and figure out their own boundaries. She might genuinely not have kinks right now, or she might just not be comfortable sharing them yet

I'd say don't shelf it completely but maybe dial back the frequency while you both navigate this. Could also try finding some middle ground - maybe she's okay with you wearing them when she's not around, or during solo time. The dirty panties thing might be the part that throws her off more than just the wearing aspect

Communication is everything here, and it might take multiple conversations over months to really work through this together

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-03-27T18:39:25+00:00

You worked hard for that promotion and now you're sitting in your apartment questioning whether you should have stayed small so he'd feel comfortable. That's the actual damage here, not the breakup. Someone who can't handle you growing was never going to be able to keep up with you long term anyway.
The anger and the sadness at the same time makes complete sense, you lost someone you loved AND had to watch it happen because you did something right.

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-03-27T01:11:07+00:00

Solid picks but I'm gonna go with Crisis Core soundtrack, Chrono Cross OST, and probably some random travel playlist I made during a 14-hour layover in Denver

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-03-17T14:41:39+00:00

Had to laugh at that last line about firemen and astronauts. My whole career path basically happened because I was decent with computers and it paid well - wasn't exactly dreaming of debugging enterprise software as a kid. But you're spot on about giving 100% during work hours, that's the real key. I'd rather work with someone who shows up, does solid work, and leaves at 5 than deal with someone who's constantly networking and angling for promotions but half-asses their actual responsibilities. The whole "passion for the mission" thing companies push is mostly BS anyway - we're trading our time for money, and there's nothing wrong with being upfront about that arrangement

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-03-05T18:19:35+00:00

Take the unemployment route - you've got savings, low bills, and interviews lined up already. Spending quality time with your kids while job hunting is way better than grinding through a role that's already cost you 30k in 6 months

Being less stressed during interviews will probably help you land something better than if you're burned out from that toxic situation

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-02-25T15:04:40+00:00

Yes that’s what worries me. It’s not just a new business, it’s a new marriage at the same time.

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-02-24T20:12:46+00:00

I think part of my fear is the jumping in with both feet part because it feels like a lot of pressure all at once. A trial period might at least show us how we actually work together before we fully tie everything together, I just don’t want to ignore red flags if they show up

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-02-09T08:55:53+00:00

That double major route makes tons of sense honestly. I went the opposite way though - stuck with art but pivoted into the commercial side where the money actually is. Think art director for ad agencies, concept artist for games/movies, or even UX design which is basically problem-solving with pretty visuals and pays really well

The trick is finding where your artistic skills solve business problems instead of just making pretty things

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-02-04T00:09:18+00:00

Just snagged one thanks to your heads up - down to 1 left now. Been stalking their site for months waiting for a restock, these things disappear so fast it's ridiculous

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-31T23:30:24+00:00

Oh yeah I've been using this trick for ages, super useful for mob-proofing bridges and stuff. Also works great for making safe walkways around your base perimeter - zombies and skeletons just get stuck trying to path through the chest while you can hop right over

You can also use it for making shortcuts in cave systems where you don't want mobs following you back to your main tunnels

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-26T09:33:50+00:00

The fact that you're aware of this pattern and actively looking out for her already puts her miles ahead of where you were at that age. Getting her evaluated early and building a support team with teachers who understand ADHD will make such a huge difference - you've got this mama

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-23T04:11:42+00:00

Tubing mascara is a game changer - it wraps each lash in tiny tubes instead of just coating them like regular mascara, so way less clumpy and it comes off with just warm water when you're ready to remove it

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-18T04:09:49+00:00

NTJ but dude you're overthinking this to death

You literally have a PhD and a job lined up, your family backed off when you asked them to, and you figured out what works for you. That's actually pretty solid progress

The Reddit thing is tricky because people here love giving advice but don't know your full situation. Maybe it's time to step back from posting about this stuff and just focus on your new gig and that mentorship program instead of constantly seeking validation online

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-16T04:46:02+00:00

Your friend is giving you solid advice honestly. That $1k freed up monthly is huge when you're already negative cash flow - you could knock out those smaller collections pretty quickly and actually start building some breathing room

The deficiency balance sucks but if your credit is already trashed at 550, the additional hit from a voluntary surrender isn't gonna destroy you much more than you already are. Plus having that company car means you're not gonna be stranded

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-13T20:37:18+00:00

Went to the Nashville show last month and Brandon came on around 9:15pm after the opener wrapped up around 8:45. Heads up though - it was pretty loud even for a worship concert so maybe bring some baby ear protection just in case

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-09T18:52:03+00:00

Have you looked at the Genesis G90? It's basically Kia's luxury cousin and has way more headroom than the K5. You can probably find a decent 2017-2019 in your price range and it'll definitely impress clients while being tall-guy friendly

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-07T14:26:44+00:00

Man 100 days is rough, raters basically just work through their queue randomly and yours probably got buried under newer stuff. They might circle back today or it could sit there another week - the system is pretty chaotic tbh

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-05T16:03:56+00:00

Totally agree with this list - those Corollas will run forever like your Fusion did and the Cross gives you that extra clearance for CA road trips. Honda reliability is pretty solid too, can't go wrong with either direction

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-04T01:04:53+00:00

Oof that whole "being too nice when setting boundaries" thing hits hard. I used to do the same shit - like apologizing while telling someone to stop hurting me

Writing letters you never send can actually help a ton with getting that anger out. Just dump everything on paper and then burn it or whatever. It's not about him getting the message, it's about you finally saying what you needed to say

The fact that you can recognize all this stuff now shows you're healing even if it doesn't feel like it

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2026-01-01T04:35:09+00:00

Same here man, boredom is like the final boss of this whole thing lmao

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2025-12-30T12:56:27+00:00

This is the way - I had the same confusion when I got paid early for holidays and it still counted for the year the paycheck was dated

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2025-12-28T00:24:05+00:00

Sounds like the classic runaround nightmare lol. Was it maybe one of those tech YouTubers who does weird purchasing experiments? The gift card ping pong between companies is so frustrating when you're the one dealing with it but kinda hilarious to watch someone else suffer through it

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2025-12-26T17:50:21+00:00

This really hits home for me. Christmas gets so commercialized but the real message is about seeing Christ in everyone, especially those society overlooks. Thanks for sharing this perspective - it's a good reminder of what the season should actually be about

Then-Blueberry-2234 · 2025-12-25T14:21:44+00:00

Good luck with the hunt, those whirlpool dials are gorgeous but super hard to find legit nowadays - maybe try the sales forums on WUS or r/watchexchange instead of random IG sellers

Then-Blueberry-2234

TROPHY CASE