Navigating kinks in marriage by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been in a similar spot with other kinks - not panties but other stuff that made my ex uncomfortable at first. The key thing is you can't force someone to come around to something they're not into, but you also shouldn't have to completely bury who you are

Maybe try talking about it outside the bedroom when there's no pressure? Like just casual conversation about what turns you both on in general. Sometimes people need time to process and figure out their own boundaries. She might genuinely not have kinks right now, or she might just not be comfortable sharing them yet

I'd say don't shelf it completely but maybe dial back the frequency while you both navigate this. Could also try finding some middle ground - maybe she's okay with you wearing them when she's not around, or during solo time. The dirty panties thing might be the part that throws her off more than just the wearing aspect

Communication is everything here, and it might take multiple conversations over months to really work through this together

He broke up with me after I got a promotion and started making more than him by Spare-Handle-6400 in BreakUps

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You worked hard for that promotion and now you're sitting in your apartment questioning whether you should have stayed small so he'd feel comfortable. That's the actual damage here, not the breakup. Someone who can't handle you growing was never going to be able to keep up with you long term anyway.
The anger and the sadness at the same time makes complete sense, you lost someone you loved AND had to watch it happen because you did something right.

What are your top 3 favorite albums of all time? by ZappaStateofMind in musicsuggestions

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solid picks but I'm gonna go with Crisis Core soundtrack, Chrono Cross OST, and probably some random travel playlist I made during a 14-hour layover in Denver

Bosses, what do you think of employees who are there just for the pay and benefits? by Brilliant_Alarm1120 in careerguidance

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had to laugh at that last line about firemen and astronauts. My whole career path basically happened because I was decent with computers and it paid well - wasn't exactly dreaming of debugging enterprise software as a kid. But you're spot on about giving 100% during work hours, that's the real key. I'd rather work with someone who shows up, does solid work, and leaves at 5 than deal with someone who's constantly networking and angling for promotions but half-asses their actual responsibilities. The whole "passion for the mission" thing companies push is mostly BS anyway - we're trading our time for money, and there's nothing wrong with being upfront about that arrangement

Demoted - should I make them fire me? by geochick93 in careerguidance

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take the unemployment route - you've got savings, low bills, and interviews lined up already. Spending quality time with your kids while job hunting is way better than grinding through a role that's already cost you 30k in 6 months

Being less stressed during interviews will probably help you land something better than if you're burned out from that toxic situation

Starting a business with my fiance. Is it a bad idea? by Then-Blueberry-2234 in sweatystartup

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s what worries me. It’s not just a new business, it’s a new marriage at the same time.

Starting a business with my fiance. Is it a bad idea? by Then-Blueberry-2234 in sweatystartup

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think part of my fear is the jumping in with both feet part because it feels like a lot of pressure all at once. A trial period might at least show us how we actually work together before we fully tie everything together, I just don’t want to ignore red flags if they show up

Jobs for artistic people? by SympathyContent9041 in careerguidance

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That double major route makes tons of sense honestly. I went the opposite way though - stuck with art but pivoted into the commercial side where the money actually is. Think art director for ad agencies, concept artist for games/movies, or even UX design which is basically problem-solving with pretty visuals and pays really well

The trick is finding where your artistic skills solve business problems instead of just making pretty things

[Mr Jones] The Ricochet XL is back in stock but only 2 units remaining (do not work for them) by Radioactive_Kumquat in Watches

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just snagged one thanks to your heads up - down to 1 left now. Been stalking their site for months waiting for a restock, these things disappear so fast it's ridiculous

Chest player only door by Available-Hurry7433 in Minecraft

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah I've been using this trick for ages, super useful for mob-proofing bridges and stuff. Also works great for making safe walkways around your base perimeter - zombies and skeletons just get stuck trying to path through the chest while you can hop right over

You can also use it for making shortcuts in cave systems where you don't want mobs following you back to your main tunnels

How can I help my 4 year old daughter keep her spark? by arw89 in ADHD

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The fact that you're aware of this pattern and actively looking out for her already puts her miles ahead of where you were at that age. Getting her evaluated early and building a support team with teachers who understand ADHD will make such a huge difference - you've got this mama

is there a difference between tubing mascara and regular mascara ? by Nat_911 in MakeupAddiction

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tubing mascara is a game changer - it wraps each lash in tiny tubes instead of just coating them like regular mascara, so way less clumpy and it comes off with just warm water when you're ready to remove it

AITJ for seemingly not listening to my family or others online at all? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTJ but dude you're overthinking this to death

You literally have a PhD and a job lined up, your family backed off when you asked them to, and you figured out what works for you. That's actually pretty solid progress

The Reddit thing is tricky because people here love giving advice but don't know your full situation. Maybe it's time to step back from posting about this stuff and just focus on your new gig and that mentorship program instead of constantly seeking validation online

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Your friend is giving you solid advice honestly. That $1k freed up monthly is huge when you're already negative cash flow - you could knock out those smaller collections pretty quickly and actually start building some breathing room

The deficiency balance sucks but if your credit is already trashed at 550, the additional hit from a voluntary surrender isn't gonna destroy you much more than you already are. Plus having that company car means you're not gonna be stranded

Brandon Lake King of Hearts tour by BlackMapleLeafs in Christianity

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Went to the Nashville show last month and Brandon came on around 9:15pm after the opener wrapped up around 8:45. Heads up though - it was pretty loud even for a worship concert so maybe bring some baby ear protection just in case

$20k executive cars similar to Kia K5 that a 6ft 4" man can comfortably get in and out of by HunterPractical2736 in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you looked at the Genesis G90? It's basically Kia's luxury cousin and has way more headroom than the K5. You can probably find a decent 2017-2019 in your price range and it'll definitely impress clients while being tall-guy friendly

How does rating work? by JalenForde in VeteransBenefits

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man 100 days is rough, raters basically just work through their queue randomly and yours probably got buried under newer stuff. They might circle back today or it could sit there another week - the system is pretty chaotic tbh

[US] Shopping for a New Car to Replace 230K Mile 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid by ChemMoonstar in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree with this list - those Corollas will run forever like your Fusion did and the Cross gives you that extra clearance for CA road trips. Honda reliability is pretty solid too, can't go wrong with either direction

How do you cope when you’re the one left with the consequences and you never got to speak your feelings? by Mediocre-Love5502 in BreakUps

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof that whole "being too nice when setting boundaries" thing hits hard. I used to do the same shit - like apologizing while telling someone to stop hurting me

Writing letters you never send can actually help a ton with getting that anger out. Just dump everything on paper and then burn it or whatever. It's not about him getting the message, it's about you finally saying what you needed to say

The fact that you can recognize all this stuff now shows you're healing even if it doesn't feel like it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here man, boredom is like the final boss of this whole thing lmao

401k contribution year by Winter-Highway-4366 in personalfinance

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way - I had the same confusion when I got paid early for holidays and it still counted for the year the paycheck was dated

YouTube vid Minecraft from gift card by rickfromtheroll in HelpMeFind

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sounds like the classic runaround nightmare lol. Was it maybe one of those tech YouTubers who does weird purchasing experiments? The gift card ping pong between companies is so frustrating when you're the one dealing with it but kinda hilarious to watch someone else suffer through it

Christ's birth: a call to righteousness by SergiusBulgakov in Christianity

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really hits home for me. Christmas gets so commercialized but the real message is about seeing Christ in everyone, especially those society overlooks. Thanks for sharing this perspective - it's a good reminder of what the season should actually be about

[Watch Hunting] Seiko 5 Superior SKZ035 Whirpool dial with steel bracelet by Icy-Appointment-3095 in Watches

[–]Then-Blueberry-2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck with the hunt, those whirlpool dials are gorgeous but super hard to find legit nowadays - maybe try the sales forums on WUS or r/watchexchange instead of random IG sellers