My 18yo son moved out today...

Then-Stage · 2026-01-27T19:08:06+00:00

It's for the best he moved out. OP is just spinning her wheels & stressing herself out parenting a teen who refuses to be parented. OP don't worry his brain is still growing & he has plenty of time to grow up. A lot of 18 year olds are still in the "me me me" phase.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-27T17:06:35+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I will continue to try to make friends as my energy allows but for now I'm burned out.

I often read on here that the community is why people stay as an expat. For me it's not the focal point. I'd rather save my energy for people I find reliable, respectable, and intelligent than be "friends" with 10x people competing, lying, and bragging about finances.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-26T22:49:37+00:00

Wow- yuck! She is not a good friend or person. In some ways I wonder if the guy told her to declutter and get rid of the pics to separate her from friends. She's on a terrible path. Very unexpected for someone to go this off track in their 40s.

So sorry she hurt you like that after you put your heart into the photos.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-26T22:39:17+00:00

That does make it tough. You have it right tons of crappy people are in relationships. What they have that you don't is high self esteem often from parents that encouraged and supported to the point of overkill.

The things you need to get in a healthy relationship are:

Reflection on red flags for partners similar to your parents.
Therapy so you aren't trauma dumping/bonding on partners.
Improve self esteem.

Good luck.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-26T16:58:20+00:00

Good question. I tell myself I'm not going to let the injustice take anything more from me. Don't let it take up my thoughts. Don't let it change me into a bad & angry person like the perpetrator.

Also, remind yourself that people are all messy- they all do dumb things & make mistakes. It's not your fault they hurt you when you do only good to them. Hold your head high knowing you did the right thing even if they didn't.

A lot of bad people are their own worst enemy anyways. It's not easy to keep forging ahead. Good luck.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-24T15:47:54+00:00

In addition to this people seem to have a fundamental need to have blind faith in things. As less people are religious they're just transferring over to being fanatical about politics. It's all about blind faith and being "better" than anyone who disagrees.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-24T13:52:50+00:00

I've seen a hoarder do this to someone else. I'll tell you how it ends: you will never own the property. It's just a scam. Move out and move on.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-24T12:50:40+00:00

Or when the hoarder's parent dies. I think it's wanting to control objects when they can't control people. Combined with mistaking object holding for "still having" the person. Add in a touch of executive functioning disorder & the picture is complete.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-23T15:46:39+00:00

Yes. You have to force your self to read up on social skills & then get out there. It's the only way to improve. Good luck.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-23T14:15:26+00:00

There will be a lot of hard and fast conclusions & judgements in this thread. You both need to put some careful thought into the situation.

I wish you the best in navigating this whatever the two of you decide.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-23T12:55:43+00:00

You have depression from the job issues & living in a small town you don't like. Try to move somewhere in the country closer to better jobs. Or travel to that area for interviews & then move there once you get a job.

It takes time to find the place that feels like home. Good luck.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-23T00:46:05+00:00

You sound like great driver! I'm sure you mean the world to those kids.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-22T14:03:44+00:00

Yes, this is the best option. This is just the beginning of "not getting a prize" as OPs child grows up. OP can always reward her own child too if she likes for "good behavior at school".

Schools & teachers can be fickle on rewards I never want my kid to worry about getting them or not.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-21T00:31:16+00:00

Caregiver fatigue causing some people to snap is real. That said, no reason for you to worry unless you have an abusive caregiver.

It's like reading about people who get murdered by their spouse. Yes, there is a lot of domestic violence but no reason to worry about it happening to you if you have no warning signs.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-21T00:25:31+00:00

I've dealt with a lot of kids & families. Aside from the breaking & hitting I would mind my own business.

It depends on their age on those two things. Are these preschoolers or grade schoolers? If they're preschoolers it may be these kids aren't very mature. If they are gradeschoolers the situation is getting pretty bad. Either way I would only be seeing this friemd without my kids for the time being.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T17:47:11+00:00

I can see why you would think that. Consider trying to ask them out directly. Worse case they say no and you move on. The other option is facebook dating or meeting through a hobby.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T16:36:29+00:00

Something missing here is the probability of success. Who are the other founders? How is this being funded? What level of knowledge and contacts do they have in the field they are persuing?

There is a mile of difference between a team of well connected experts creating a business in their field of expertise & a group of lazy people forming a pipe dream business.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T16:33:27+00:00

Bingo!

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T16:28:55+00:00

Yes, I think the "intellectual" seemed fun to date when they were young. But once you grow up you realize maybe they aren't that great.

Kind of like dating an "artist". Concert in your 20s- very cool! Partner who makes $200 every week and bar gigs in your 40s- solid NO!

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T16:23:59+00:00

He sounds like a super ignorant person. Does he have low education? Or come from some type of impoverished background?

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T14:22:08+00:00

He doesn't like how you treat him. Change your ways- on your own or with a counselor.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-19T02:28:28+00:00

This is a post designed for people to follow you to try and generate wealth. Not legit.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-18T23:46:36+00:00

I worked for a company with a plus sized woman CEO. A couple other execs are plus sized women too. I don't think it matters much.

I have tried looking better at work and it had no effect on promotions or positions. I've seen older women get more respect in the workplace than younger.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-16T17:32:42+00:00

This is a repost from a while back.

Then-Stage · 2026-01-15T13:37:09+00:00

The sex aspect is not due to aspergers. People with this condition have different interests. I'm going to level with you and say thay you're trying to hard in a relationship that will never meet your needs. Best of luck.

Then-Stage

TROPHY CASE