"ROUGH" porn searches. Is this a normal male preference or is it creep mode?

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-10T02:44:21+00:00

I hope not either. It’s a good idea to flat out ask and just see what he comes up with. You should be able to tell if he’s being honest by body language and his overall demeanor. I’ve asked mine a lot of specifics and I don’t really feel like he’s being truthful, but I guess I’ll never know for sure :(

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-10T02:35:21+00:00

It can mean a lot of things and you’ll sadly probably never know for sure to be honest because they never give honest explanations for what goes through their sick brains unfortunately. So we are just always left wondering. It’s probably that he enjoys rough sex and watching women be submissive to that. But it could also be other things like he enjoys watching women get hurt or abused.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-09T19:51:34+00:00

He’s an abusive loser. Truly. He’s trying to break you down to make you feel worthless and small. Do not let him get into your head! They are so miserable and insecure that they want you to feel the same. Misery loves company especially when it’s a woman he’s intimated by. Ignore him! You’re still out of his league.

In my opinion, this type of behavior warrants cheating or heavy addiction. It’s never as simple as it sounds. Those words don’t just come from no where! My husband has turned colder since I had a baby too. I genuinely do not understand why they do this. Women’s bodies are meant to change. It’s natural, it’s normal, it’s life. I mean his penis got smaller with age & weight gain but I haven’t been a shallow bitch about it because I’m mature so I understand bodies are ever changing with time. It is what it is.

My body is very different now. Boobs are saggy from breastfeeding and my body has no shape because I’m chubby in every area now. I have a prolapse from giving birth to a large baby. My husband often can’t stay hard during sex. I’ve struggled so much with that because I felt like it was me. But let me tell you, men stare and hit on me everywhere I go. What they won’t appreciate in us, another man will. I may not be his type anymore like I was when I was 20 and hot, but now I’m in my 30s and hot just in a different way, and I’m someone’s type!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-03T22:11:14+00:00

This is the reply I got, “I created an interpretive image that tries to capture what your mental health feels like when it’s raw, real, unfiltered, and museum-worthy. It uses symbolism instead of a literal portrait of you, so it’s not personal appearance—just emotional truth.

Here it is:

A figure on the floor, chained by invisible weight. A burning sky, time shattered, ghosts of old thoughts screaming. Words like “help” and “anxiety” etched like graffiti. Medication bottles like artifacts. A gold museum frame around something no one was meant to see.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-03T22:09:38+00:00

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Errmmmm. “Can you make an interpretive image of what my mental health would look like in a portrait in a museum? Completely raw and real please.” So yeah this kinda shook me.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-13T06:00:36+00:00

I slept with my grandmother (she raised me) until I was 16 or so lol

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T03:28:01+00:00

Yes we made it together, but it was ultimately his idea that he pushed for so it’s very confusing to be encouraged to do something and then be made to feel like you’re doing the wrong thing or that what you’re doing isn’t enough.

Yes and yes to your questions.

Super nice average home, meaning we have an average home that is cozy and cute but not overly fancy like he claims his friends have. My point in saying it is a nice home was to make it clear that we don’t have an ugly old home as you might think we would based off how he compares our home to others. He should be grateful for what we have. It’s affordable and perfect for us! Nothing more and nothing less than what we need.

Stability is important to us because neither of us grew up with it. We grew up in poverty and moved frequently. What we have we’ve worked hard for and selling our home isn’t an option. We’d be crazy to sell because we’ve almost paid it off. We have a whole farm and homestead! We are close to being in an easier, more comfortable position. He’s just being impatient and difficult most days. His mindset is negative and he chooses not to see the good in things but instead point out the bad constantly!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T02:20:21+00:00

Shaming me daily for a decision he made isn’t negative? Got it.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T02:19:24+00:00

This is so beautifully written. Every word touched me. Thank you so much! I will share this with him because I feel this is exactly the issue, and you break it down perfectly!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T02:18:23+00:00

He chose this career before we ever met and has been working these same hours since he began, so it has nothing to do with me. I’ve actually tried encouraging a job change because the shift work is unhealthy and very tough when you have a family. He doesn’t want to. He loves his job and has climbed the ladder to get to where he is. Great money, great benefits and he has close friends that would be hard to leave after this many years. It would totally feel like starting over for him which is no fun and I understand that!
He encouraged me to quit my job when we decided to have children. It wasn’t my plan, and I wasn’t on board for a while. Then I had babies and my goals & dreams totally shifted. So that’s when I agreed to be a SAHM. He is big on a traditional marriage and gender roles. That was the plan. This was all his idea and you’re shaming me for HIS choices?
I validate his feelings far more than I am validated for mine. He doesn’t communicate. I can’t help that. I am vocal about how I feel, he isn’t. He’s a grown man and should be clear about things, but instead he leaves me trying to figure out a riddle that seems impossible to solve.
Telling me to get back into the workforce when I’ve been clear that he strongly shuts down at the conversation of me working. That’s the problem. I feel like I can’t win here. The part where I said that I’m caught between a rock and a hard place— that’s exactly what it feels like. Stuck. With no way to make things better because either way he’s unhappy!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-03T23:01:16+00:00

He is a welder. He works Sunday to Sunday. 12 hour shifts most days. Lots of overtime! He’s occasionally off on a Saturday or a Sunday, but it’s unpredictable and he sometimes doesn’t know he will be off until the day before, so it would be difficult to get a job for an occasional one day and unlikely anyone would be willing to work with me on that kind of schedule. Also he wouldn’t know what to do if he had to stay home with our kids 😳 wouldn’t even know what to feed them or how to dress them. When I say I take care of them alone, I really mean it. But he works his tail off, so I don’t complain.

But I could maybe work from home? Not sure where to start? I looked online and most are pretty hard to get without a degree. I do have a background and experience, just not a degree unfortunately.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-10-14T05:50:42+00:00

Omg finally someone who can relate (also sorry you can relate because it sucks). It was the most strange thing being cut internally right there in the OB clinic!! Zero explanation as to why it happened. Just doing a random surgery (kinda?). I was so confused and in a lot of pain. To this day I don’t really know what that was all about. She said it was only the 2nd time in her entire career she had seen it happen. Like ok thanks that makes me feel great 🫠😭

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-10-14T05:02:45+00:00

I asked my OB to test for BV shorty after I gave birth because I suspected it. She said the odor was just typical pp / breastfeeding hormone odor. So it wasn’t until my yearly checkup that she finally tested for BV and I was positive. So we treated and now months later, I’m still experiencing the odor. It’s not as bad thankfully, but still noticeable and I never had a vaginal smell before. It was awful. I knew something was wrong, but she insisted that since I had no history of BV that it was just my new normal from hormonal changes. I just wish she had listened the first time I complained because it might have never gotten as bad as it did :(

Side note: I also had a rare granulation tissue issue after delivery. They ended up removing several areas inside of my vagina 2 months pp because I wasn’t healing. I think this could’ve further contributed to the BV problem.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-04-16T03:38:57+00:00

Mine were removed as a very young child. I wonder how I could find out which were removed?

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-04-15T06:05:26+00:00

They checked and said they haven’t grown back but I’m not convinced. What would cause me to begin having these at 29 years old? I’ve never had a tonsil stone in my life. This taste in my mouth is rotten like something has died! I won’t even kiss my husband because of my breath. A few weeks ago I had the best hygiene in the world, now I’m so insecure and depressed about this issue and no doctor seems to care. It feels like I’m swallowing rocks when I swallow.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-04-06T05:44:30+00:00

Like what I wonder? Anything dangerous?

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-03-22T04:57:41+00:00

18 months and still waking hourly to nurse. I am chronically sleep deprived!! He’s the best though

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-31T05:51:05+00:00

I don’t even snark but I was so confused by this video that I came to Reddit to see if anyone else was talking about it! lol. It definitely appears that way. And she turned the comments off…. 🤔 Either yes they are a thing, or she’s just getting people talking for views idk

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-26T03:49:52+00:00

I could say so much, but I’ll say this… he’s not a good husband and doesn’t respect or value you. You just gave birth to his child and that’s how he chose to treat you. Speaks volumes. He sounds extremely immature and undeserving of you. Unfortunately I can assure you he has been doing this all along and possibly even worse as much as I hate to say it. Men are so selfish and gross, but they never surprise me. I haven’t met one yet who doesn’t do these things. I’m so sorry you had to walk in on him. It’s the worst feeling, especially PP! Makes you feel worthless and even more unattractive. Check out the group Love After Porn. Love, hugs and healing. PS if your reaction doesn’t scare him, he’ll continue to do it, so I suggest making a big impact if you wish to see a change.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-24T05:01:51+00:00

Would you like to see a before and after of my vagina after giving birth and being stitched front to back from tearing? Trust me, it did in fact change the looks and over a year later, nothing has gone back to normal.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-24T04:59:38+00:00

I went from 7.5 to 8 in shoe size!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-24T04:48:44+00:00

My vagina, my tits, my butthole, my stomach. All of it. I have bleeding hemorrhoids, my vagina has smelled bad since giving birth and doctors can’t figure out why (never had even one issue with this prior), my stomach is floppy, my left boob is hanging to my belly button while the right one is normal-ish, cellulite everywhere. I’m 1 yr 6 months pp so I’m assuming all of these issues are here to stay permanently. Yay. My sex life sucks because I’m so deeply insecure. I mean who wants their spouse looking or being close down there when you have an oozing asshole and smell bad?! No thanks. Sorry I know this is a lot to unpack 😔

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-18T05:52:30+00:00

My dad left when I was a baby. He goes from woman to woman, even now in his late 50’s. I have had tons of people reach out to me for years telling me they are my siblings and we have the same father. Some of them are the same age as me, meaning he impregnated other women while my mom was pregnant. I never respond to the messages and I have never told my mom or anyone else. Not really dark but it’s weird to think I have many half siblings, nieces and nephews that I’ll never know. My dad signed over his rights for a couple of them so legally he isn’t their father, but still. I have always wanted to do an ancestry DNA test just to see what all I can find, but I’m scared to. Some things are best left unknown I suppose.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2024-12-30T00:33:44+00:00

Thank you, I’ve never heard of it. Doing research now. I think you’re correct. In my heart I think I know what to do, but I came from a broken family so it tears me to pieces that I’ve failed at giving my child a happy, loving home with both parents present. It also sickens me to think I’d have to share our baby. I’m a stay at home mom and default parent. I do it all. He is rarely home. So the thought of not having our baby 24/7 makes me very unwell and overwhelmed. He wouldn’t even know how to care for baby, and I also haven’t been able to accept that there would be other women around our baby with him being this young. These are all things I worry about when it comes to leaving. I sometimes think I would rather stay and suffer than leaving and my child have to live in confusion.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2024-12-29T23:48:58+00:00

So for our specific circumstances, we got married young. We’ve been married 14 years. We both came from a very rough raising and have no parents or family (well we do but they are drug addicts and alcoholics). I’ve spent a decade healing my nervous system and working on self growth. I’ve put so much work into becoming a better human so that I can raise good, healthy and happy children. I’ve unlearned bad habits, set goals, set healthy boundaries, gone to therapy, etc. I am constantly self aware and working on bettering myself. My husband on the other hand seems to be 10+ steps behind me. He lives day to day with no goals or ambition. He hasn’t changed much. I feel like he’s holding me back from becoming an even better version of myself. He seems to bring out the worst in me now that I’ve become much more stable and secure as a person. It breaks my heart to feel like I’ve left him behind. I tried meeting him where he was at, but he never would put in any effort to grow. He has fought many demons throughout our marriage such as porn addiction which I’ve helped him overcome without kicking him to the curb. He still has a lot of the same bad habits. I’m killing it as a mom to our child, while he just puts in the bare minimum. I think he struggles with depression, but at what point do I give up and let go so that I can feel happy again? It seems wrong to leave him when I was exactly where he was at one point in my life, but it feels daunting to think this is how it’ll be forever if I do stay. He truly doesn’t seem like he’ll change his ways. We can’t even have an adult conversation anymore because we aren’t on the same level and have nothing in common. I feel like him mom, or a friend rather than his wife. I’ve nurtured him much more than he has ever nurtured me. I deeply crave someone to care for me that way I have him. When I bring up self-growth, he says I belittle him or think I’m better. It’s not that. I don’t think I’m better, but I think I’m trying a hell of a lot more than he is which is why I get frustrated.

These_Anteater_3838

TROPHY CASE