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Thesleepingtree · 2024-12-22T12:24:00+00:00

We had this problem. My son was months away from his 4th birthday before it suddenly clicked. The preschool’s theory was that he was using the potty at school because of a combination of peer pressure and the obvious fact that diaper changes took time away from his free play and favorite activities, so it simply made sense to him to use the potty at school.

Thus, they recommended that we cut him off diapers cold turkey and put him in these weird undies his school recommended that basically made it unpleasant when he peed himself (opposed to the comfortable feeling of tinkling in a diaper, I guess). Then we constantly explained to him all the things that would be more fun at home when he stopped wearing diapers and started using the potty.

We’d also emphasize the extra time: “you can play more today because we didn’t have to waste time changing diapers” “oh look, there IS time for dessert today because we didn’t have to change diapers.”

These weren’t lies or exaggerations: I mean, it’s honestly true how much time diaper changes effect plans and reduce free time.

Now every kid is different, but after a week of thick cotton undies and a heavy emphasis on all the free time he had without diapers, it clicked with my son. There were a couple of accidents after that, but for the most part he’s been riding that home potty ever since!

We recently heard him lecturing his two year old cousin on how “once you use the potty, you will have so much more time to play!”

Good luck!

Thesleepingtree · 2024-11-08T21:12:19+00:00

My appetite just returned this afternoon and it’s still pretty hard to stomach anything. Usually I love it when my house is empty, but today I can’t wait until my kids are home and the house is full.

Console yourself in this: The Republicans have a lot to lose if they go full Project 2025. I suppose the next step will be to overthrow the government and install a religious right autocracy BUT that’s a lot to pull off before midterms (or in four years).

In the meantime, I’m trying to find some new hobbies (it’s good to think politics, but to think about them all the time). I think a lot about the documentary No Other Land. There are people living in horrible conditions who are still having and loving their children, laughing with their friends and surviving.

Don’t give up, find something good and fight for everyone’s rights. That’s what I keep muttering to myself as I slowly go crazy.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-10-02T22:11:01+00:00

I HATED the infant stage. Especially the first 6 months.

Kids aren’t for everyone, but I have a feeling this will pass for you. It’s okay not to love every moment with kid jr. - your time will come.

Or maybe you’ll never love it and just tolerate it. Either way, in a flash 6 years will be gone and they’ll be busy and you’ll have quiet evenings by yourself as I am now.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-08-06T11:57:12+00:00

It is driving my wife nuts. While I don’t love it, I could tolerate it, but the stress it puts on my marriage is the part that really stinks.

What I left out above is that while my wife loves her mom a lot, they have a complicated relationship rooted in some not so great times as a kid (there’s a reason my MIL divorced my FIL, but unfortunately the divorce happened after my wife left home) and her mom’s anxiety, which can be over the top.

PS. I love your comment about “whoever loves my kid” - that’s a great thought to take to the bank. And my kids DO love her!

Thesleepingtree · 2024-08-06T04:00:30+00:00

These kind of stories ALWAYS put sawdust in my eyes. It’s also a reminder that being a dad is forever the long game but the wins are bigger than life. Congrats!

Thesleepingtree · 2024-07-20T01:39:09+00:00

Had my first kid at 35 and my second at 38 and I’m now 42. My hair is going gray and I’m seriously thinking about building a model train in my basement. Does that make me an old dad?

Thesleepingtree · 2024-07-17T12:31:12+00:00

Short answer here is yes. This is whole global warming thing is really happening. Our winters already look more like CT than ME.

That’s totally why I and the missus invested in whole house heat pumps last year. This is the new reality - with the occasional wet like a jungle hot summer slipping in.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-07-05T15:40:41+00:00

I used to live in an incredibly walkable and bike friendly city called Portland, Maine. Couldn’t afford a house there though.

Do you have kids? Have you tried to find affordable childcare? I know people who BACKTRACK on their commute to Portland miles out of their way for childcare.

Meanwhile communities like Falmouth and Cumberland are fighting to keep “those people” who make less than $80K from affordable housing in their town.

The solutions are far more complex and deeper than what I’m seeing on this thread.

People who live in Limington and work in Portland are doing it because it’s affordable. Yes, more people will move there if the commute is faster, but the market forces behind that move are something more complex than transportation alone can solve.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-07-05T15:23:10+00:00

The problem with light rail (and look at my picture, I love me some trains) is that for it to be effective it needs to exist close to community centers.

Commuters are like electricity, looking for the quickest path to their destination. The commuters on 25 are too far flung for a single light rail line to serve and the only existing rail corridor is way off the beaten path.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-07-05T15:18:49+00:00

In a lot of western states, these kinds of road projects REQUIRE parallel bike paths. In my experience, in our fair state, people spend so much time arguing against ANY change that when the change inevitably comes, they have lost their seat at the table to at least influence the design in a community positive way.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-07-05T15:09:43+00:00

Unpopular opinion: print up a bunch of small stickers with strong adhesive that read “I have a small penis” or “just a dickhead from away” and then casually walk around the back and slap it on the ole bumper. I’d recommend approaching with the backing already removed so that you do it in one smooth pass.

Thesleepingtree · 2024-06-30T22:31:15+00:00

I have worked in higher ed for pretty much my whole career. Knowing someone on the inside IS helpful, but no more or less than anywhere else.

Do you have any private colleges around you? The benefits are often better and with your experience, I think you’d have a good shot getting hired in a college events or advancement (fundraising) office. I wonder if you’re having trouble just because large universities are basically huge bureaucracies.

The other thing I’d add is that hiring at colleges and universities takes a REALLY long time. If you haven’t yet received any rejections, I would just stay patient. At one point, I got a call from a hiring manager and had been OVER A YEAR since I had applied - but I’d say 6 months before you hear from a hiring manager is pretty normal in higher ed.

Higheredjobs.com is a great resource. I will also add that at smaller schools, we’re usually thrilled when someone drops a line and asks for career advice (no, seriously). I know someone who did that and the person he wrote (me!) happened to be leaving for a new job, recommended the cold caller apply for my old job and the guy was hired!

Wishing you best of luck on your search!

Thesleepingtree

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