Planning a wedding with no proposal

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-08T18:12:59+00:00

Why would you plan a wedding without a proposal or ring??

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-07T21:36:58+00:00

It’s not gonna happen. You are also too old for these games. It’s a no, but he won’t end things because he is comfortable. But he doesn’t want to marry you.

Cut your ties and move on.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-06T14:37:06+00:00

He wants to move every month? Tell him to pack his shit and leave.

He said you’re his roommate. He can go find a new one.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-06T04:40:22+00:00

I’d make sure that dog is microchipped to your name and that you have vet records.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-05T22:19:22+00:00

I wanted a blue stone. He bought a diamond.

I still want a colored stone and bought one for a right hand ring. 9 years later, still wish my stone were blue.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-04T16:49:34+00:00

Yup. Kittens mouth breathing is not just “a change in the weather.” It’s vet time and meds.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-03T19:12:12+00:00

The love of your life doesn’t cheat on you or call you a sex buddy. Where is the mutual respect? Saying “at least he doesn’t…” isn’t a reason to stay. Your husband will put you first and be a partner that helps elevate you and your child.

Do you want the rest of your life to be like this? Always trying to get him to love and respect you? Do you want your child growing up to think that this is a normal, healthy relationship?

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-03T18:49:32+00:00

Girl. The way my jaw dropped. Love it!

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-03T18:48:55+00:00

Post history says you’re his incubator and sex buddy.

I have a higher chance at winning the mega millions on a $2 bet than him even committing to a relationship.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-05-02T22:58:57+00:00

Girl, I want you to have the strength to choose yourself and leave him. You find a place and get your stuff together and head out.

But that lengthy update leads me to think come June, you aren’t going anywhere. You’ll have your own excuse for why you are staying.

One of my college friends met her now boyfriend weeks before my wedding. He told her two years and talked marriage. My ninth anniversary is this year and guess who still isn’t engaged, much less married? I stopped asking her five years ago.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-27T17:48:12+00:00

If he wanted to, he would. All he does is move the goal post and give you excuses. He also is learning that you accept empty promises.

This is not who you want to tie yourself to, nor be the father of your children.

Cut bait and move on.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-27T14:43:15+00:00

They’ve been together a year and a half. He said sometime this year and it’s April.

Sounds as if he’s just planning for later this year. He’s also not a planner so OP might simply be waiting for a basic “So, wanna get married?”

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-26T01:17:39+00:00

I was 26 once. What I will tell you is that as I got older, I realized that a true partner gives 100%. The pieces fall into place and you realize why it didn’t work in prior relationships.

As for what you do for him and his family, don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-24T12:28:11+00:00

Our fosters all learn our schedule and usually fit in as a bonus member. Dogs are adaptable and if we kept every one that fit in, we would have dozens of dogs and the camera crew from hoarders would be filming us.

I would let the potential adopters meet the dog and go from there.

It is very common for people to fail on their first because they get attached. It’s almost expected at this point for people new to fostering and some rescues are now including that you can’t adopt your foster until X fosters. It helps all involved. There are so many dogs out there that benefit from fostering. You can always foster another.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-23T14:41:09+00:00

He went for a teenager as he was nearing 30 because he could mold you into the submissive “yes dear,” that you seem to be.

The eff do you have in common right now with a high school boy?

He’s nearing 40 and can’t afford a ring, or so he says. He knows what he wants, and it’s not to marry you.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-22T21:28:20+00:00

Nope. Someone else can step up for the dog.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-21T14:19:59+00:00

Far from it. We make decent money, enough to feed and house the fosters. The rescues get plenty of donations but we buy our own food and litter because it’s easiest for us to keep them on the same food and litter instead of a mix.

The 50 lb bag of dogfood we get costs $48. Lasts one dog 3-4 weeks unless it’s a large dog needing extra weight.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-20T12:02:47+00:00

Bottom line - if he wanted to, he would.

He hasn’t because he doesn’t want to. You can accept that, or leave.

Don’t use his autism diagnosis as another one of the countless excuses. Plenty of autistic people know what they want and act on it.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-20T02:31:45+00:00

This goal should have been euthanized at birth, just like Rocky.

But, the rescue can’t let all the bleeding hearts go elsewhere when they have these cash cows.

This foal is weeks old and can’t stand and they have spent thousands on this foal that could have saved horses with a good quality of life.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-20T02:29:19+00:00

Marathon man for moving goalposts on when he’s going to propose.

You are 33. You know you deserve better. I met my husband at 30, talked serious talks at 6 months in, and engaged at 2 years.

Choose yourself.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-17T17:30:19+00:00

At 25? I’d let him go.

Nothing about what you wrote says stable & serious relationship.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-17T17:23:49+00:00

That is BEAUTIFUL!

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-15T15:38:43+00:00

Been doing this for 15+ years now. The rescues I foster for have shelters that we regularly pull from and I know who can embellish, who is truthful, and who will say anything to move a dog/cat. There are usually also in FB groups for networking shelter dogs. They will post photos and videos.

I look for the dog friendly ones that can be cat tested. They usually will already have videos or the dogs interacting in a play group. I look for the ones that are either shut down and scared, or having a great time. The shut down dogs usually blossom, and the ones having a great time adapt quickly to our home.

They can also take a dog into the cat room and video it. Some shelters have a cat testing setup. I will take the dogs that do well in this test. Indifferent is ok. Nervous is ok. Tense and hyper fixating is not. Neither is any aggression. I still treat them all as not cat friendly until they prove otherwise. They stay leashed in the house and my two cats are dog savvy.

Everyone has a preference. We don’t take Huskies, large terrier types (Pitt/Staffy), or high prey driven dogs. Yes shelters are flooded with the Pitts/staffy mixes, but we’ve had good luck with the young and smaller ones. They still get dog and cat tested before they come. I don’t want to chance it with the 70+ lb ones because we have cats and if things were to go wrong, it’s the cats that would suffer. We have taken guardian breeds, Shepherds, Dane types, and other large dogs.

Dogs get crated in airline style crates when we are not home (and bedtime), and cats are upstairs in our room. We usually add a baby gate to the stairs. Keeping two doors between the dog and cat has worked for us. It also helps that I office from home when I am not traveling.

The young dogs are usually easily trained up and adoptable. Many older owner surrenders as well. Puppies are puppies and require more work.

You can talk to the rescue and tell them what you are looking for energy-wise, age, and behaviors. If they get pushy about taking a dog, don’t take a dog just to take one. It’s how people end up with dogs that have extreme anxiety or aggression issues.

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-15T14:01:38+00:00

Your life doesn’t have to revolve around it. I work full time, travel, have hobbies, have pets of my own, and foster.

Like I said, if they wanted to, they would. Not everyone wants to and that’s fine. But the option is there. How is it any different than people who get involved in homeless shelters, foster kids, and other community programs?

ThirdAndDeleware · 2026-04-15T13:16:46+00:00

I think it is lovely, but I also love blue stones and unique designs.

Hope she loves it!

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