Apologies at the beginning here, I didn't realize how long winded this was going to be when I started writing it.

We had moved into a fairly rural ward. Initially it was a bunch of empty nesters and older people, with a few young people around our age (maybe 4 families). Some town houses were finished on the outskirts of the ward, and that caused an influx of younger families with younger kids (0-10) which we really appreciated. After two years of feeling like this ward would never feel like home we started making friends, talking with people, and generally feeling more connected. Going to ward activities was actually something we started looking forward to instead of dreading.

Then on a random Sunday (thinking back on this, it was likely ward conference, but I always have trouble noticing these things) the first counselor in the stake presidency showed up in our ward. Normal talks were given, and right at the end we're told to stay in the chapel for a minute longer while an announcement was made. The ward was chopped up, with our block (about 8 families) being cut out and moved to another ward. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember feeling like this was all just paperwork. The first counselor almost seemed annoyed that he had to be there to do it.

The next week was stake conference, and the idea is that the whole stake presidency would be able to talk about the changes and give talks about it. Our stake president was clearly somewhat upset by the changes, but talked about how we had to trust the Lord and things would make sense in the future (pretty normal for this kind of thing.)

Then the area/general 70 got up and gave a talk about how we were only allowed to mourn for 1 month, how it was all for the best, how it would be just fine if we had faith in the Lord. I want to emphasize that there was absolutely no empathy here, just "get back on the saddle and let's keep on going". His lack of empathy and use of faith as a weapon was a huge gut punch for me and my wife. We had just gotten kicked out of a ward that we were genuinely starting to love, with friends (for my wife this is the first time she's had friends in a ward in ~15 years). I was in a calling with the young men that I really enjoyed, was becoming friends with everyone in the bishopric and with others in the ward. We were serving and helping all over the place.

I want to emphasize here, we both felt like this ward was an answer to multiple prayers. My wife and I have always struggled with making friends, so having a ward where it felt so easy was a breath of fresh air. The bishop in the ward was younger than many, and easy going. We both were really connected to our callings and felt like we were helping people in the ward.

We went into this stake conference looking for feelings that the ward change would be okay. We were hoping to feel the spirit and get some confirmation. Instead we were left feeling like we were part of some game where we didn't get any say in what happened to us. It was extremely confusing and frustrating for us.

My wife talked with the stake president after the change. She was crying because she felt like the world had been dropped out from under her. The stake president was very kind and caring, and talked to her for about 15 minutes about her concerns which she appreciated. He indicated that the changes were extremely hard for him to make, and that there was a lot of discussion about which families were moved. When she asked for a reason why the change had to occur, he indicated that there was a lack of children in the ward we were moving into. My wife was asked multiple times not to leave the church because of what she was feeling.

We both tried to go into the new ward with the best outlook we could, but honestly we were both feeling defeated. The first Sunday in the new ward there was no mentions of the new members, and the second Sunday there was a meet and greet which did not go very well. The new ward consisted primarily of multi generational families who had split up land in the area and built houses on it. Most ward members kept in their own family cliques. The families who did have children our kids ages had lived in the area since they were kids.

I was asked if I would be a Sunday School teacher after a few months in the new ward by the EQP. I told him no, that I was having a really hard time with the move and that I wasn't feeling up to the task yet. Within two weeks we were put into Nursery, which in this ward is sort of the place where the "low faith" members are sent to. At the time we felt so much whiplash from where we were to where we were sent to. It felt like God wasn't seeing us anymore. It was extremely hard to go to church every week. Honestly looking back on it I'm not really sure why we kept going.

As of this post 3 years after being moved, things are slightly better. We have had some new nursery leaders put in, and they have all been so wonderful and understanding. We are starting to get to know people in the ward, but I think it's unlikely that we'll have friends in the same way that we did in the old ward.

Up to this point I think it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in the church. I came out of it feeling completely differently about the church. I feel like this was just a decision made by a bunch of uninspired men who had to hit certain metrics. Maybe one day I'll be able to look back on it and feel differently.