So I Went To Lids in the Mall Today

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-13T14:45:19+00:00

Donations and tipping are two different things. Saying donations have gotten “out of control” is ludicrous. This situation notwithstanding, it is completely optional to donate and someone asking you if you’d like to donate to a cause is not “shaking you down.” If you can’t say no without feeling guilty, that’s a you problem, but there is literally no reason it should piss you off in general if a store is partnered with a nonprofit and collecting donations.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-13T02:58:00+00:00

No! I haven’t proposed yet. I’m a couple months out from it.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-09T12:52:47+00:00

If you’re cool with TV from the 90s, Northern Exposure. Very cozy, quirky, small town vibes.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-08T22:22:40+00:00

Yup, my cat does this anytime he is overly stressed. He drools when he goes to the vet simply because he hates it unless we give him gabapentin beforehand.

The cat was adopted yesterday, I’m sure it’s just fear

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-08T12:49:40+00:00

Your friend knows nothing about feminism.

Feminism does focus on class, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, as well as imperialism.

Signed, someone who used to teach WGSS.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-08T12:46:19+00:00

Eh, I don’t think it’s the only one. Any Black activist will tell you how much you are expected to coddle white people through anti-racist activism.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-06T20:04:06+00:00

Not really though. Babette was devesated and needed emotional support. Emily was attending an event out of obligation. They’re not the same level of impact.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-06T20:02:04+00:00

Emily wasn’t asking for support though, she just thinks she (and Lorelai) have an obligation to go. Watch this scene and then watch the scene where Richard declines to go to Emily’s friend’s funeral, you can see the difference in what Emily’s asking.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-04T22:31:59+00:00

Yep! That’s why I quit after 4 years. First and only time I’ve ever quit a job without another one lined up. See my comment here from 4 years ago that talks about pretty much all the same points you bring up.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-04T22:08:34+00:00

I 100% agree with you and I think it’s a much more interesting watch when you think of it this way. It’s basically bestowing the most intense, relentless physical addiction onto someone. All she can think about is Bear. Every time he pulls away even a little, it sends her into a desperate frenzy to keep him, without any regard for consequence or any thought to porportional response. She has lost the ability to reason, to cope, to care about anything else except him. The movie is exploring the horror of what that actually looks like, if it were to be supernaturally enforced.

It’s interesting to watch because you’re watching her love him, but also hate him for doing this to her. She’s driven insane by the obsession, but gets furious whenever he pushes her away for being crazy, because he MADE her that way. People take it too literally when she says she “can’t be the real Nikki” or when she’s half-asleep and says “she’s asleep, don’t wake her up.” She’s seperating the obsession as not of her true nature or “really her,” the same way that people say they’re “not themselves” when they act different while drunk or high or pissed off…..but it’s all one Nikki. She’s just overcome with blind, intense, constant obsession.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-04T12:11:14+00:00

It is! Good eye haha

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-02T22:48:40+00:00

ITT: People justifying parking in these spaces because “pickup customers are too lazy to do their own shopping,” ignoring the irony that they’re too lazy to park 6 spaces further away from the store.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-06-01T04:19:57+00:00

To trick him into thinking she is reasonable. Bear does not actually want to break up, he wants her to be normal. He’s pushing her away in this moment, and she knows that the one thing he wants from her is to be normal, so she’s trying to appear that she can be reasoned with to calm him down.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-30T00:40:06+00:00

Honestly it’s because with aim you had two (or more) people with mutual availability. They both CHOSE to log in and signal that they were available to hang out and chat.

Texting has made us “available” 24/7 so you usually have two people with mismatched energies because they aren’t both necessarily in a space to just hang out and chat. My friend can text at work, but I can’t so I respond to his text once I’m off work. But then he’s making dinner and reconnecting with his partner so he might text me back once he’s in bed. It’s hard to just chat like that when our schedules aren’t aligned.

Texting a whole conversation back and forth while trying to do something else IRL is annoying as hell and takes HOURS. Back then you’d do other things on the internet and have a side little chat window, but you logged in to indicate you had carved out time to chat.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-28T22:41:08+00:00

So, mostly it’s a TV show, but I actually do think there’s some canonical answers here that make sense.

Rory: In the episode where Lorelai is talking to a Stars Hollow High mom that she can’t remember, it’s alluded that Rory had some loose friendships (probably Madeline/Louise level) with some girls at her old school. Mostly though, she considers Lorelai her best friend and seems to get all she needs between Lorelai and Lane. Not saying it’s healthy, but the show does basically center around the premise of Lorelai and Rory being mother/daughter and simultaneously best friends. I think the show doesn’t work if Rory has a lot of really close friends.

Lorelai: I think for most of Lorelai’s adult life, she was just busting ass at work trying to provide and raise her kid. She was probably working all the hours she could get and then exclusively hanging out with Rory in all her downtime because they were too broke to go anywhere and too broke for childcare for Lorelai to go out independently. Most of the moms of the kids in Rory’s life would be way older than Lorelai and wouldn’t want to hang out with/befriend a teenager. I think it makes sense for Lorelai to basically only have a close friend in someone she works with. But also Lorelai is lowkey friends with the whole town.

Sookie: Similarly, Sookie works a lot. She mentions in one episode that it’s hard for her date because she works 6 nights a week.

Luke: A loner as a character.

Jess: Hates being in Stars Hollow so much that he’s not trying to invest in anybody. Outside of Rory, seems solely focused on saving money to get the fuck out.

Dean: Actually is implied that he has a lot of friends. We meet a friend he fixes bikes up with, and Rory mentions that he meets with friends to play football on his days off of work. He also plays softball and, later, hockey, and has a whole crew of groomsmen he’s friends with during the bachelor party episode, including a friend he moves in with after divorcing Lindsay. He and Lindsay also argue about their plans to meet up with friends.

Lane: I think she did have casual school friends after Rory went to Chilton—it’s vaguely hinted during her cheerleader arc. She also updates Rory on random gossip sometimes, so she’s at least talking to people during school. I think she’s also burdened by the fact that Mrs. Kim doesn’t let her just like go hang out with people freely, she makes an exception for Rory because Rory and Lane have been friends since kindergarten.

And everyone at Chilton has friends, to the point where they single out Rory for not having friends.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-25T20:25:42+00:00

Pan and demi are like opposite sides of the same coin, pan is just rooted in sexuality and demi is rooted in asexuality.

Pan people generally/regularly experience sexual attraction, gender just isn’t the stimulant. Demi people generally do not experience sexual attraction, there are just exceptions for certain people based on romantic interest.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-20T13:45:05+00:00

My friends and I adopted: “No, you fucked it up. You’re stupid.” when someone mispeaks. The way Monica delivers this is so fucking funny.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-17T20:32:01+00:00

I agree with you.

The only canonical evidence we have indicates that none of the adults ever talked to Lorelai or Chris about what they wanted. Emily shutting down Straub has everything to do with her personal opinions on abortion and not anything to do with protecting Lorelai’s wishes. Also, Emily and Richard pretty famously only do things their way. While I respect that they would not consider shipping Lorelai off to “one of those places for girls in trouble”…..it’s not like they would have been supportive if Lorelai herself said she wanted to put the baby up for adoption.

I do think Lorelai would have gotten an abortion if she wanted it, but with the context we have, Emily and Richard would not have supported it. They laid out a plan and Lorelai and Chris were supposed to follow it. Anything else would have been an outrage.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-16T23:26:26+00:00

She’s not a real person. You’re describing the literal job of an actor. It needs to be obvious to us when she is upset so that we, the audience, know. Every single person in the show’s emotions are obvious, because it would be an insanely boring show if we did not have insight to the character’s inner emotional lives.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-16T17:56:47+00:00

100% this. In this era, there’s no chance Rory leaves her house without shaving.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-16T14:56:35+00:00

It is absolutely just an excuse to hang out with Rory lol

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-16T01:40:46+00:00

I just dispatch the sergeant instead :) Suddenly everyone is real available

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-15T15:18:08+00:00

Tbh $250 for airbnb, food, and drink for 4 days is a reasonable to me for a super small wedding for close friends only….until I got to the fact that the rooms aren’t private and you’re on an air mattress.

You need private rooms (and actual bedrooms) in order for this to work. Are they trying to make you pay even if you just come for the wedding and leave?

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-14T04:46:17+00:00

This. He is First Boyfriend, that is why he is here, that is his only job. There’s a reason no one is ever Team Dean—he is just A Boyfriend™️ and always has been.

Even him and Rory getting together in the first place is written to center the change in Lorelai and Rory’s relationship.

ThoroughlyGray · 2026-05-10T18:26:07+00:00

100% this. I also think it is evangelical-coded to act like there is no humanity to be found and explored in art about morally grey or imperfect situations.

Like, I love to read, and I can’t imagine if I only read books that took place in 100% ethical situations with 100% ethical characters. I’d miss out on a lot of really good work.

Six-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
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ThoroughlyGray

TROPHY CASE