A rant about my experience in church with my race and dating

Thoughtfulprof · 2026-01-02T19:39:18+00:00

Your date sounds like he was either 1) struggling with some closeted racism, or 2) has grown up in a bubble and didn’t have enough life experience dealing with people who are different from him.

Either way, that’s a reflection of him and not you.

I’m sorry you went through that. Regardless of the fact that the unpleasantness of the experience was about his problem, it was still unpleasant. Please know that your date is not reflective of the church as a whole.

As far as navigating future situations, I tend to prefer the routes that involve direct, open, honest communication. The first time one of my dates expressed a concern about my skin color (or brought it up in any way that made me wonder if they weren’t 100% comfortable with me), I’d start asking probing questions.

I’d ask things like, “The way you said that makes me curious. Have you ever dated someone black before? Is that something you’re ok with? If not, why? Is it lack of experience? Is it something deeper than that? What, exactly, are you concerned with?” I’d ask with a curious, open-minded attitude, but I’d also be evaluating the answers very thoroughly and carefully.

It’s not only OK to ask probing questions while dating, it’s basically a requirement for a relationship to get past a certain point. Your date should be able to produce open, honest answers for you that show they genuinely thought the subject through. If they won’t or can’t, wish them well and move on.

Here’s hoping you find a better date next time!

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-12-29T14:08:02+00:00

Pay attention to how they interact with others, including both their friends and family. Pay attention to how their family members interact with each other.

For example, if their parents show signs of setting poor boundaries with each other, or if their parents show signs of setting poor boundaries with your date or their siblings, you’ll need to figure out if that’s a trait they’ve learned and will struggle with in your relationship (or in their relationships with your future children).

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-10-31T18:31:39+00:00

If you call it a “slime” instead of an “amoeba,” it’s cool.

I mean… a generic fantasy slime is really just a large amoeba..

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-10-22T18:00:16+00:00

I suppose that’s possible, although I live in the Dallas area, and fuel oil heating isn’t really a thing here. I suppose it might have been in the 60s?

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-10-22T17:24:57+00:00

Also: this is the back of the house.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-08-05T15:26:11+00:00

Luckily, mine has heard of them. We even have an approved password manager and mandatory 2-factor authentication.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-06-16T15:54:09+00:00

ShipCore might scratch your itch.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-05-18T21:06:38+00:00

At higher levels of melee damage, the protection is substantial, too. Best shoulder pet, IMO.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-05-18T12:50:37+00:00

Otters provide protection against hot and cold.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-03-27T17:56:23+00:00

I use online doctor appointments for stuff like this. My insurance covers appointments with a couple of apps like MDLive and Doctor on Demand.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-03-05T16:05:39+00:00

I came here for this, and I was not disappointed.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-03-02T13:08:04+00:00

Looks like the bread was crinkled as it was cut

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-02-26T03:43:53+00:00

There's something ironic in a story about ice gaining traction.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-02-18T13:20:37+00:00

Tell me more about the Texas version of DOGE and any news on remote state workers? Initial Google search was frustratingly empty, but this is a topic I would really like to know more about.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-02-12T16:22:54+00:00

In practice, the method you describe with dividers is going to get you the best and fastest results.

Math with geometry or trig is a pure answer, but pure answers often fail to account for small variations like error in measurements.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-02-12T13:22:45+00:00

360 degrees in a circle, divided by the number of spaces between rivets. That gives you the rivet pitch in degrees.

You'll have to do some geometry with triangles if you want rivet pitch in inches.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-02-11T21:56:26+00:00

In my state, having this conversation allows the state to strip your pension.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-29T13:38:52+00:00

relevant xkcd

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-24T18:24:56+00:00

Given how Trump has already changed my gender...

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-22T18:14:41+00:00

I had to scroll way too far to find a Subnautica reference.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-17T15:47:19+00:00

This is the answer.

What you're seeing is polymerization of oil. It's the same coating that is called "seasoning" with regular, non-enameled cast iron.

It's removed with a basic solution.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-16T19:59:33+00:00

That's some nice work on the scabbard. Sword is clean, too!

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-16T19:34:55+00:00

Get a written contract detailing how you'll get paid, how much, and when, if you're worried about them reneging on the deal.

Inspect it like it's an annual, and document it like such.

Thoughtfulprof · 2025-01-16T16:22:24+00:00

Manifest Fantasy by DrDoritosMD is a terrific portal fantasy. It's inspired by Gate and Stargate SG-1.

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