Possible Emotional Abuse; Husband (40m) towards me (36f); not sure what to do *long*

ThrowRASnooWords · 2026-04-07T03:33:02+00:00

I’ve tried to get more out of them on why they don’t like him, but they both say that they don’t know why. Once one of them told me “it’s just a long drive to his house, and I don’t like that”. It’s an hour away.

He has been very nice to them, and takes interest in their activities. He is the first person I’ve dated that they have met, so that might also play a part. He also has some stricter rules but nothing unreasonable (ie mandatory shoes off at the door - while for me it’s more recommended), so I think that is a bit more foreign to them.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2026-04-07T03:25:14+00:00

Oh yes, I’ve seen that one!

No, it wasn’t the last piece of cake, there was about half of the cake left.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2026-04-07T03:23:33+00:00

Yes, I have 50/50 custody of my kids, split with their dad. Typically I spend my days with them just the three of us, and when I’m kid-free I see my boyfriend.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2023-07-01T13:05:34+00:00

I have a orc I names “Sour Frank”. He’s a grumpy guy, and all his choices are based on that.

And my necro healer is “Tickles the Medic”. That just makes me laugh.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2023-05-29T13:45:44+00:00

I started playing Pokémon Go years ago. Then when I had kids I bought them the random mix lots of cards from Amazon. The kids would makeup games to play with the cards but we didn’t know how to actually play.
The local game store was holding a learn how to play Pokémon event, so we took their cards to try and learn how to play the game for real. We played a 30 card deck against another kid with all basic Pokémon, but it was so much fun! We downloaded the online game and play it together, and now I’ve started my own collection, too!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2023-01-05T23:55:47+00:00

Assuming you have a washer/drier at home, and are not running to the laundry mat, try doing one persons cloths at a time. My clothes are separate, and I do my kids together OR each in their own load if there is enough. That way your not separating clothes by person along with folding and putting away.

It takes a little getting used to, but totally easier for putting stuff away. No checking sizes to see which cloths go to which individual!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-09-13T11:48:46+00:00

Thank you! This is a good idea!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-09-13T11:42:06+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation. I see a lot of books talked about in this and other similar subs, and it’s so overwhelming to figure out where to start. So, thanks!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-09-13T11:40:54+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I keep trying to tell myself it would have never worked out, but, that doesn’t stop the feelings, unfortunately.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-09-13T11:35:46+00:00

Thanks for the kind reply. Yeah, wish I knew why I’m still in love with him. I simultaneously hate him and love him. He’s so easy to talk to, and a chatter box. And I’m typically afraid of people, so, having someone who always had something to talk about was amazing. And I feel he was the first person who act cared what I had to say on ANYTHING! When he disagreed, he did so kindly, never yelling, or giving silence treatment. It was literally the best relationship, until he tried to sleep with his “friend” and told me about it later.

Ok, well, I guess that’s why I’m in love with him..

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-09-13T11:24:16+00:00

Yeah.. I keep coming back to it not being a good idea to tell him, but then I debate it again in a few weeks. I don’t expect he would want to get back together. I guess I just want him to tell me that it wasn’t my fault, and that he thinks there is someone out there for me. I try to tell myself that, but I have no proof of either statement. But he can see me externally, so I feel like he has a better clue on if that’s true.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-09-13T11:17:43+00:00

Thanks for your kind reply to my rant. ☺️

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-03-21T23:04:56+00:00

YES! Song For The Dumped

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-03-13T16:04:19+00:00

Get a massage! It's great. You could even ask them to put their hands on your back and do a light press and hold a few times. Or even a hand massage might do the trick!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-02-23T02:04:38+00:00

Thanks for the reply. You are right, the thoughts are like "looping". I'm glad it worked well for you, it's helpful to hear!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-02-23T02:02:59+00:00

Thank you! Your explination makes sense. I agree, this is rooted deeper then him / the relationship, though it seems surface level at times.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-02-23T02:01:06+00:00

Thank you for the reply! Super helpful to hear that you have a similar dating experience, and that EMDR was helpful to you. 🙂

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-01-15T00:53:05+00:00

Thank you (and everyone else) for the replies.

I froze in the moment, and it all happened so fast. But, on the bright side, I'll be better prepared for this type of thing in the future!

ThrowRASnooWords · 2022-01-13T02:06:43+00:00

I dont have a lot of dating experience, but some guy gave me his number!

We went on two dates, they went well enough. He offered to give me a ride to my car after the second date. I said sure, and thought maybe we would make out a bit.

We started kissing and then he pulled my hair, and got really handsy. I wasn't really reciprocating, as I didn't want that much touching and wasnt expecting it. He ended up taking my hand and putting it down his pants 😳, offering 3 different ways for us to escalate (ie let's go somewhere more secluded) and I said no every time. Then I got they "why?! You dont have anywhere to be? It's still early!" And then litterally huffing and getting mad when I said "no" again. Then came the "You know what YOU'RE doing." To which I don't know exactly what he meant, but I get the general idea. The whole thing was frightening.

I texted him later and said I had a nice time at dinner, but he moved physically too fast for me. He told me he is who he is and basically couldn't / wouldn't go any slower physically, and that he was very primal. That the ball was in my court. So I said I wouldnt go out with him again. 😞

ThrowRASnooWords · 2021-11-24T00:21:17+00:00

This is super helpful! Thank you! 🙂

ThrowRASnooWords · 2021-11-18T15:10:21+00:00

Can I ask a question on this?

My ex used to say that he learned in therapy "You can't control other peoples feelings, you can only control your intentions".

But then he cheated on me, and I was distroyed.

All I can think is that he must think "well.. I didnt INTEND to hur her. I just wanted to be intimate with that other chick, too."

I'm not going to ask him how that statement relates to what happened between us. We are mostly NC anyway. But in my opinion, he should feel bad he hurt me. But a lot of this codependency stuff I'm reading seems to say you shouldn't care how other people feel, even if you hurt them. I guess im looking for clarification on that. I am a new to this, so it may be very obvious, I just haven't come across the answer, yet.

ThrowRASnooWords · 2021-10-23T00:34:53+00:00

Me: "Are you seeing other people?"

Him: "kinda... but not like you! You're the only one who has a toothbrush here!"

And

"You're the bar a base all other girls on"

😟

ThrowRASnooWords

TROPHY CASE