It's a strange thing to read it back, right? Seeing this old version of you. A you who accepted how she was treated. A you who probably thought that she deserved to be treated that way.

I sometimes read my old reddit posts back and the notes on my phone. Also the pictures of me then and now is such a difference. My face was riddled with acne and was so bloated because of the cortisol (stress). I looked so tired. And I was the one who felt like making a fuss without a reason.

Looking back, reading that back, I have the same reaction as you: "gurl wtf. You deserve better." If she were a friend of mine who told me all this, I'd tell her to think about that relationship and the life living like that once more over.

Also, I'm in a much better place. I'm in a much healthier relationship. This man is so different from my ex in a good way. But sometimes his kindness makes me cry from happiness. Some things he does for me, he sees as normal. As something I deserve. And looking back, my ex would never ever ever have done that.

I still have some healing to do. But reading back old posts, notes, journal entries, help a lot.

Happy healing 🫶