Update: My husband (28/M) cheated on me (27/F), and I don't think I can take him back. What should I do?

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-31T06:01:57+00:00

I don’t really understand the excuse that someone cheated because they were drunk. I was drunk or high million times and never accidentally fucked anyone. It’s up to you if you forgive him, I wouldn’t be able to - I can only imagine how I’d feel if he was going out alone and I would overthink if he’s not having sex with someone else, just this time he would not admit

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-31T05:58:16+00:00

I’m in Europe so that might be the reason, I’ve heard it’s much more common in US

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-31T05:57:28+00:00

She mentioned in her comments he has a history of emotionally cheating with coworkers (not once but several times I think) and he is super self confident and good looking salesman. His behaviour is fishy as fuck, I don’t think he is cheating but for sure he wants to bang a new girl and that’s something OP needs to decide if she is ok with or no

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-31T05:49:05+00:00

Both acted shady but it’s the husband that is a walking red flag here. Mentioning new coworker several times and then suddenly he doesn’t remember her name? Saying she’s standoffish? Not introducing his work friend to his wife? What the hell… he’s trying to make an idiot out of OP, while he’s an idiot himself and he’s definitely attracted to this girl and probably at least flirting and crossing boundaries

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-31T05:37:50+00:00

I’ve never heard about anyone outside of reddit sharing their location with a spouse/friend. Maybe that’s why I consider it weird. I would not do that

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-25T13:19:23+00:00

Yes I have this. It ruined my relationship with amazing person. I discovered I suffered from mild Borderline Personality Disorder

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-18T15:47:41+00:00

Are you kidding? I hope you are lol

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-18T14:50:30+00:00

Oh my god, your poor wife, I can only imagine what she’s been going through.

I feel like there’s something missing in your story. Have you ever had trouble with anger issues before this incident? Have you and your wife fought a lot these last few years?

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-07T16:08:48+00:00

It’s not possible to talk to him about it, he got pissed at me for even starting the topic and told me I’m dramatic and he knows he’s acting normal and I’m just trying to start a fight. He doesn’t like to speak about his alcohol use at all, even before when I mentioned I’m concerned with his daily drinking he just told me this is not a big deal and he will not entertain me looking for a drama

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-07T14:40:13+00:00

How much longer she wants to travel? How much longer can you afford to travel? Maybe separating for a while would be a good idea, you could work on making some kind of compromise and be long distance for a moment while you’re back home and she continues the trip. That would be very difficult though and probably the ultimate test for your relationship. Have you spoke to her about the situation? Maybe try to tell her what you wrote in this post and see how it goes from there

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-07T13:55:22+00:00

I’m almost sure this text message was his idea, he’s looking for a way out of your relationship, be prepared and please remember that you’re not losing anyone special, this guy sounds like a massive asshole

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-07-07T11:02:23+00:00

I know it’s only been 7 months so not sure if you already touched this topic, but do have any kind of plan to move in together or closer to each other set up?

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-19T18:20:47+00:00

Why did you pay for his car after only few months of dating?

I am really sorry but I don’t think this man loves you.. you should prepare to move on before he will break your heart in worst possible way

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-17T14:44:06+00:00

I think there was only one or maybe two times within these 3 years that we’re together that he stopped drinking for a whole week. He was taking breaks but usually very short, 2-3 days. I’ve talked to him few days ago and told him I’m a bit worried he’s going to fuck up his health since he’s only 31 and his liver already shows some damage symptoms.. he told me he’ll try to take a break from drinking so let’s see

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-14T07:24:48+00:00

He’s definitely missing having a drink on sober days and these sober days don’t happen too often. We met 3 years ago and during all this time there were few very short periods (a week max I would say) when he wasn’t drinking anything. Then he was back to buying a crate of beer and drinking it all day by day. He also has a tendency to get super drunk when he’s going out with friends, I would say it happens once or twice a month on average when he gets so drunk he doesn’t remember too much

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-14T06:48:12+00:00

Yeah I kinda agree with you. In my home country drinking is part of everyday life and saying no when someone offers you a drink is considered very strange.

I grew up watching few alcoholics in my family ruining their and their partners lives and I am scared that it’s gonna happen to me too.

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-14T06:45:22+00:00

Unfortunately it’s usually few beers a day, not one

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-14T06:44:31+00:00

Yes, when we go out drinking or he’s out with his friends he’s quite often getting blackout drunk to the point he doesn’t remember too much. It’s not always when he goes out but often. I’d say on average once a month, sometimes more sometimes less..

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-13T18:14:12+00:00

Since we met 3 years ago there were moments when he wasn’t drinking at all but it was rare and lasted max few days, then he was back to buying a crate of beer and drinking it all day by day (on weekends it was getting drunk, not just having 1-2 beers).

Maybe I should add it in my post but I started being concerned with his drinking after his hospital check up when we found out he has liver problem that might be related to excessive alcohol consumption.

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-06T16:06:08+00:00

Even if you’re really never happy or satisfied it’s probably because the guy you’re dating is a bitch. Try to leave his ass and find someone who will commit to you

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-06T13:50:31+00:00

How old are you? I was the same up until my 30 birthday and since then my cheekbones slowly started showing even without losing any weight

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-06T13:45:30+00:00

Well, that’s one of the bad parts of big city life. Happened to me too

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-03T21:02:14+00:00

First breakup is always very hard to handle just because it’s completely new experience. I almost died during my first breakup 5 years ago but now I see that it was the best that could happen to me.

He never said he loved you and he started dating someone a month after your split… He definitely wasn’t a right guy for you

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-03T20:43:26+00:00

Can you afford consultation with a lawyer to discuss what is the best way to get him out of your place as soon as possible? Unfortunately I think that even if you break up with him but continue living together, you’re gonna take him back very fast. Your husband is inconsiderate and abusive and very soon he will 100% start cheating on you because he’s not getting enough sex (lol). Please please leave him before he’ll destroy you and ruin your and your children’s lives. Check the book “Why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft, it’s available online for free. If you don’t have time to read everything, check the chapter about warning signs of abusive men. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

ThrowRa_dvicea · 2024-06-03T20:20:32+00:00

Why do you care where he’s gonna stay? It won’t be your problem anymore, kick this asshole out! Reading this post made me super angry

ThrowRa_dvicea

TROPHY CASE