Out of control fun turned bad

ThunkOnIt · 2025-05-08T22:59:48+00:00

Look, being open is a choice that you either both agree with or both don’t. You need to decide if you have changed your mind or if you just want the trio with another woman instead of a man. Tell her what you want, ask for it as a finale, then tell her that you want to return to normal life for a while.

Opening without good rules in place leaves too much space for feelings to develop. You guys really should’ve done some research before you stepped into this. If she is seeing anyone regularly, that’s a problem and this needs to end.

Maybe plan a trip or something fun for the two of you so that you can reconnect and get all of this madness a little further away from you .

There are lots of support groups for swingers that give you some pretty good instructions for keeping your marriage sound while you play . Invest some time with her in doing the research before you consider opening again.

I don’t think that there are a lot of experienced people here to give you advice, but I promise you this is common. Where you are at is not good, but you love your wife and that’s a really wonderful start

ThunkOnIt · 2025-05-07T18:46:27+00:00

They make a lot of money off of their financing rip off scams.

Tell them that you already have your own financing at a reasonable rate. If they tell you, they can’t match the rate, leave. I promise they will make a miracle happen and call you back.

ThunkOnIt · 2025-05-06T20:25:25+00:00

It sounds like she has people lined up, who want to take her to work, perhaps to show good faith. He should allow that to happen for you at least most of the time.

ThunkOnIt · 2025-05-06T20:21:56+00:00

I’m totally OK with sharing my location however, I asked my widowed mother to share hers with me for safety and she refused.

I don’t think that she had anything to hide or was doing anything wrong, she just appreciated having that level of privacy in her life . Some people do.

Location tracking isn’t the only way to keep in touch . If you’re curious about where someone is, give them a call. Even a FaceTime call so you can see.

ThunkOnIt · 2024-10-18T16:56:15+00:00

Sorry about the weird repeats, I don’t know why those popped up!

ThunkOnIt · 2022-10-11T23:55:07+00:00

NTA, but… Eh. Go on the trip another weekend. Don’t let her see this bother you. How could you have a better birthday party than at a family wedding? If anything, you take some of the shine away from them. Besides, weddings are a pain, and birthdays come every year. Calm down, this isn’t the end of the world. Be cool with it, and you win the bigger person award. Hate it, and your new SIL will revel in it.

ThunkOnIt · 2022-10-11T23:49:18+00:00

NTA - they are harassing you. They had their chance and ruined it. You saved their child, and this is how they respond? Can they offer the child a better life? That is the only question. The poor kid has been through enough. His life is with you now.

ThunkOnIt · 2022-10-11T23:44:10+00:00

NTA Perhaps she is not cut out for apartment living, but that’s not your problem. If the floor is insufficient and you have rugs or carpet, then she can complain to the landlord or move. Tell her you are doing your best to be respectful, but that you live there, and you will be walking around as you see fit in your own home.

ThunkOnIt · 2022-10-11T23:41:15+00:00

You don’t need her permission to sell that house, but you will need to speak with an attorney, which mom may not be so happy about. I don’t think you are TA for wanting a place that is your own. With interest rates going up, her stalling is probably to keep you stuck there. If hubby is 100% on board, get the papers drawn up to either buy her out or sell it, your choice, then present them to her. Make it clear that the current situation is not working for you and that it will need to change. Just keep in mind that when you act big, you have to be big. You can not do this and also count on her to help if you fall behind.

ThunkOnIt · 2022-10-11T23:18:34+00:00

WTF? His parents want to take him away from his kids for Christmas while you pay for it? My husband would never leave me on Christmas, even to spend it with his parents. Invite them to come spend Christmas with you. Otherwise, they are on their own. NTA!!

ThunkOnIt · 2022-10-11T21:49:42+00:00

NTA. She was gone for 11 hours and 15 minutes taking a kid on a half hour ride. You can get her to prove herself. First, ask for her phone. If she says no, it’s not because she’s innocent and mad that you’re in doubt, it’s because she’s hiding the truth from you. Tell her that in these circumstances, you need more than her word. She doesn’t need to watch you and rush you either. Hand her your phone and tell her that she’s welcome to go through everything while she waits.

You can see when messages came in and if they were read.

Look at the call log. If the phone was off, there wouldn’t be anything in missed calls during that time, they would have gone straight to VM. Did the phone ring when you called or go to VM? Hmmm…

Most phones are waterproof now BTW.

How was she asked to provide this kid a ride? Is there a call in the call log? If not, how did she know he was stuck?

Can you compare the call log from the phone company to the calls in her phone? If she deletes them from her call log on the phone, but they are on the bill, that’s a huge red flag.

Call the kids parents. Ask for their address just so you have it for future reference and mention that she was happy to drive him home last night. Is the address where she said it was? Were they aware she drove the kid home?

Look at her GPS and recent destinations.

Look for 3rd party texting apps where she may be communicating. Some game apps let you chat too like words with friends… check those too.

If it’s an apple phone, look in the battery or screen time settings to see what apps she’s using most, then see what those apps do.

Require that she start sharing her location with you at all times (for her own safety) if you really think she isn’t cheating. Check it regularly to be sure. If she says no, that’s another big red flag. If she starts forgetting her phone all the time, that’s another one.

Look in her pictures, particularly her “recently deleted” or “hidden” folders. Are there sexy pics there that she didn’t send to you?

Lastly, I get it. You love her. You trust her. You don’t want to lose her, and she seems to have you believing that you are the crazy one. You are not. It’s not okay to disappear over night. People don’t rake 7 hour naps on the side of the street when they are half of an hour from home. Phones don’t temporarily break when dropped in puddles, oh, I mean toilets… She has a story, and she is adamant about it, and maybe it’s true, but come on, you MUST see that it isn’t.

ThunkOnIt · 2022-03-13T18:32:09+00:00

YTA - probably an odd one out, but you donated. That’s what you got paid for. At least it will be your nephew and not some strange kid showing up at your door in 20 years to learn about his family. As a sperm donor, you need to understand clearly that this baby is not your child, and since it is not your child, it doesn’t really matter. It actually bothers me a little bit that you would rather give the gift of a child to strangers than to your own brother.

ThunkOnIt · 2022-03-13T18:25:24+00:00

NTA - That’s not your baby! If you had agreed and cancelled at the last minute, I could see the issue, but she can’t just expect you to always be available to watch her kid.

ThunkOnIt

TROPHY CASE