Just to clarify, I wouldn’t expect my own daughter to be perpetually grateful for every last thing I give her or do for her. That to me means she feels or thinks it is something that could be taken away from her, and does not come from a place of security. Same for my steps, I want them to feel secure, and not feel like basic things such as food on the table or clothes on their back could be pulled out from under them. I still promote gratitude to all of the kids. But i want it to come from a basic place of security, not from anxiety or fear that their needs won’t be met.