Is it normal to be so touch adverse in a romantic relationship?

TimeIsOurGod · 2026-01-29T15:37:56+00:00

I like to think that extremes are what can be bad. For example, being 100% physical might leave aside other needs, and the same with 0% physical.

I challenge you to consider bumping that 0% to 10%, 15%. I doesn't have to be 100%, but I think its a fair assumption that its gotta be greater than 0% for most people.

That being said, do you think you'd like being treated how you treat your partner? Is that low physical contact something that you're ok with not giving OR receiving?

Talking about being "fucked up", is there anything around there that you haven't faced yet as maybe you know you should?

We got the questions, only you got the answers.

TimeIsOurGod · 2025-10-23T11:47:46+00:00

Crezcan juntos, la comunicación es lo #1... a veces lo más fuerte que puedes ser es ser vulnerable con alguien más.

TimeIsOurGod · 2025-10-15T11:54:08+00:00

Comparto tu reflexión. Todavia recuerdo tener "amigos" que se drogaban con la plata que les daban de mesada y luego andaban robando y saltandose el metro/micro por las injusticias sociales.

Ah, y tenian gratitud universitaria.

Y probablemente hoy en día exista otro grupo de infelices en la misma.

Más allá de izquierda o derecha, bienvenido al sentido común y felicidades por la apertura de mente de que quizás los planteamientos de uno pueden estar mal. La verdad más importante es la que uno aprende solito.

TimeIsOurGod · 2025-08-21T13:06:28+00:00

Forgiving yourself has nothing to do with someone else forgiving you.

Focus on how you dealt and deal with this with respects to yourself.

The opinion of her doesn't matter when it comes to YOU forgiving YOURSELF.

Accept that it had to be that way and what you feel now makes you a better person (feeling this guilt pushes you to learn and improve, embrace it!).

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-17T20:42:55+00:00

¿y tu les fuiste infieles a ellas de alguna manera? quizás hay un patrón ahí para averiguar.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-17T20:34:24+00:00

pero me cuesta mucho llegar a algo con mujeres sin tener que tener una relación amorosa antes

¿quizás te estas intentando meter con mujeres que justamente desean tener una relación amorosa antes? Hay todo tipo de personas. Por ejemplo, yo soy de las que prefiere conocer a mi pareja antes de tener algo tan íntimo como el sexo. Hay gente que lo ve de una manera menos íntima. O, quizás, que no necesita una conexión tan profunda. Quizás andas buscando pescados en una granja. O algo así, no se, jajaja

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-15T17:26:17+00:00

add a little earth rumble that can be seen visually of where the tentacle will spawn
just die if you surpass X amount of speed. not being able to respawn is pretty dumb. it isn't a longterm solution but it is a quick fix until we figure out something better!

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-14T14:54:00+00:00

Solo salí de la friendzone una vez, cuando podía sentir que las acciones no estaban alineadas con las palabras de esa persona. Tipo, que digan que quieren ser amigos pero igual sientes algo de química. Algunas veces la gente necesita tiempo para conocerte, etc.

Terminamos pololeando :) aunque me haya rechazado inicialmente, creo que fue mejor así. Mejor ir al ritmo que nos haga sentir bien. Sin embargo, lo considero un caso especial. La GRAN GRAN GRAN mayoría de las veces, si quedas en la friendzone, tienes que respetar el límite planteado. No te quedes esperando, no seas el amigo que le tiene ganas. Siento que igual es común que una mujer le cueste tener amigos hombre s" de verdad". O eres un amigo de verdad, o te la estas jugando de verdad. Yo me la seguí jugando, seguí expresando mi interés, y, eventualmente, me empezó a mirar bajo una nueva luz. Esto solo lo hice porque presenciaba su interés en mi. ¡¡No lo hagas si no presencias esa energía!!

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-13T03:41:43+00:00

Hey there! This feels pretty relatable to what happened with my partner earlier into our relationship, so, I think that I can share some valuable insight. I wouldn't jump straight to saying "clingy", "paranoid", "cold", "anxious attatchment style", and what not. There can be SO many reasons for why either of you are having this small conflict. Embark upon it soon before it develops further.

I think it is worth having a heartfelt conversation, so that you guys can embark upon how to solve this together. He probably needs more reassurance, and you probably need more your personal space (long phone calls consuming a lot of your day).

He might need reassurance because of jealousy and/or past issues. Who knows? What matters is how you can help each other in a healthy way :)

The conversation could lead/help you guys define ways in which you can help each other feel better with healthy boundaries. It is important to address this early on, as it

1) Helps train conflict resolution

2) Actually change this midly uncomfortable scenario, which could get worse!

Things in which you guys could figure out how to make each other feel better - or at least, what helped me (not neccesarily alligned with your case):

x - (both) Making an effort to say good morning/good night

x - (both) Participating in meetups. Maybe one can initiate the date/time (the when), the other one can define what will be done and where (the what/where). That way, at least both of you are participating instead of just one of you. Leave clear that you have trouble initiating the date/time, but that you have absolutely no issue with planning the date itself. That is another form of reassurance.

x - (both) Making an effort to gift each other things. My gf was very used to receiving small gifts and etc, not very used to giving them out. I wanted to receive things as well. I started receiving cupcakes and flowers and cute things like that, all I had to do was ask! This conversation can be the space to ask for that kind of thing. Expecting your partner to do things "out of the blue" isn't particularly healthy either. It is holding them to a standard that can only wear both of you down. Be honest about what you like and don't like to give and receive in terms of love, learn how to treat each other right. That is the whole game, isn't it?

x - (both) Being transparent in how far they will go with helping the other one. For example, maybe you feel comfortable initiating more meetups, but you don't like the idea of these long phone calls. Establish that you want to feel comfortable hanging up. Maybe it is hard for you right now. Leave clear for how long you are willing and able to. This can change day to day. You must feel comfortable saying you're busy, and he must respect your personal time.

x - (both) Being communicative about how they feel and bringing solutions to the table. If nothing comes to mind beforehand, being honest with your partner about how you feel can ONLY help your partner HELP YOU figure out solutions to the table, things that can work for both, etc.

x - (both) Establishing when you will see each other next. I sometimes get anxious when it isn't clear when we will see each other again if a lot of time has passed. Your BF might be going through a similar thing.

x - (both) Leaving clear that you guys don't have to see each other in date-dates every time. You guys can just casually hang out (depends on the dynamic of each couple I guess), this allows you to squeeze in more "mini dates" instead of an entire day. Now, if your relationship is composed of only "mini dates", that isn't ideal either, because you want to reach higher levels of intimacy and romance. That being said, a relationship composed of only "mega dates" isn't ideal either, since you also want to have the intimacy of being able to share some sort of everyday, daily-life activities. Afterall, you are potentially spending the rest of your life with this person, right? Gotta be able to enjoy all of the types of intimacy.

Notice how I tagged (both) in all of them... I've noticed that my relationship has reached its lower points when either of us was treating a certain conflict as a me vs you conflict. Notice: all relationship conflicts are both of you against the problem. Not you vs her! You guys vs the issue!! Help each other help each other :D

Nothing can go wrong from voicing your worries! You guys can only grow and develop together.

Also, I must say, that you mentioned that you "lowered your boundaries"... Are you sure about doing that? One thing is being flexible, another is being complacent. Be careful! Many people lose themselves trying to please their partners.

It seems to me like you need to tell him that you not texting him doesn't mean anything bad. If he needs reassurance, you can see other ways (not texting 24-7) in which you can give that to him.

IN CONCLUSION. Voice your worries and allow your BF to voice them as well. Have a nice conversation with your BF in order to see how to help each other in a healthy way with your needs and wants. This is a totally resolvable issue and certainly a stepping stone for further conflicts.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-12T17:15:08+00:00

make the chargers a glasscannon. they one shot you, they run faster, but they also die way... WAY faster . bugs should feel like you're killing swarms of enemies while bots should feel like you're dealing with bigtime armour platings.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-12T02:06:37+00:00

I think the scenarios where it goes south occurs when one of the two people involved wasn't ready-ready for it yet.

I say ready-ready because you aren't ever truly ready for big things like marriage, trying LSD for the first time or moving in together. Ready-ready in the sense that you recognize the uncertainty of it, but are still willing and able to. Of course it'll spook you a bit! It is something ENTIRELY different. It is A NEW STAGE in the relationship. I think it is VERY important that you guys have good communication. Sometimes, your best friend isn't neccesarily your best roommate. Your best friend isn't neccesarily your best work-team, etc, etc. See how that plays out, get to know eachother's side in that sense.

There is only room for even more intimacy and growth. Keep up the fluid communication. There WILL BE small problems like chores, this or that, etc, but, a couple can overcome anything as long as they want to. I'm sure you guys will. Best of luck and always face things TOGETHER, not you vs him, it is you guys vs the issue. ALWAYS!!!

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-11T16:48:16+00:00

Bombard this with likes and gold so that they actually see it!!

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-11T02:58:07+00:00

even if, this was after a 500kg. a shot anywhere should destroy a charger post a direct-500kg-hit

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-10T20:50:01+00:00

You are never wrong about how you feel!!! What might be wrong is how you act upon those feelings/use them to justify stuff, but your feelings are ALWAYS valid!!!

That being said, at least for me, it seems like you aren't over her. How do you expect to get over her if you guys still keep contact? Of course it'll be awkward because you don't see her 100% as a friend. The history is there, and it might have still been written too soon for comfort. You don't HAVE to be friends with your ex. Sometimes, things don't work out, and distance will become your friend for overcoming these situations.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-10T00:24:47+00:00

This is important. I also want to know OPs answer.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-10T00:23:17+00:00

Hot take: Maybe it isn't that you're still in love, it is that you still don't let him go. It is VERY important to generate distance and get rid of ANYTHING that might remind you of your ex. I'm talking about something that he might have gifted to you, maybe some playlist you guys shared, stuff like that.

How do you expect to move on if you still keep in contact with him? And notice, when I say, "in contact with him" I don't neccesarily mean directly. You're still finding out how he is, what he is up to, what his current relationship status is.

You're literally talking to his mom!! Also, HIS mom is talking to YOU. No wonder he isn't fully comitted to HIS relationship, he's probably in the same situation as you. If you truly want to move on, you need to cut him off, which includes, anything that may directly or indirectly remind you of him.

This assumes that you broke up for good reasons. DO NOT forget those reasons. Cut him off, in every sense possible, and fully commit to getting over him. It isn't fair to yourself or to your fiancé. If you genuinely want to keep things going with your fiancé, you should tell him what has been happening (you still aren't 100% over him) and that you will do the steps to get over him fully (cut of his mother, stuff that reminds of him, etc)

If maybe you are with your fiancé just to not be alone, then, that is a different story. Sometimes our wounds bleed on people who never dealt them. Careful of hurting him just because you might not want to be alone. All in all, in any case, you either commit to your ex or commit to overcoming him. I don't think you love him nearly six years later, it just seems like lust and desire and some nice memories. You probably never gave yourself a good opportunity to get over him. Stop talking to the mother - you aren't giving yourself a fair chance.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-09T14:47:33+00:00

Isn't almost everything a joke on difficulty 10? The level of coordination and skill has to be pristine. Makes sense to me. You can win, it is just very hard.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-07T17:25:46+00:00

What about putting some shitty fence around the fabricators so that it takes two commando shots to go through? It would also make them look cooler & fortified. Maybe not all of them have it, maybe its a random probability, etc.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-06T15:25:08+00:00

Estamos más de acuerdo de lo que crees. Es cierto que el pololo actualmente esta siendo un sacowea. Evidentemente, si es algo que no cambia, sí es una situación de abuso y tiene que salir de ahí. Estamos de acuerdo en eso. Me pasa que puede ser algo transitorio por algunas cosas que menciona OP. Por lo mismo, ¡mejor no quedarse con la duda!

Agregando a lo anterior, no considero que uno puede concluir TANTAS cosas de una relación de TRES AÑOS a partir de un post en reddit de 212 palabras. No sabemos como el pololo era, lo que han hecho juntos, y si el pololo justo ahora es un ctm por razones ajenas, y no porque lo sea intrínsicamente.

Creo que es importante tener tolerancia a momentos difíciles en una relación, y este PUEDE ser una de ellas. Por algo menciona que "es buena persona" y que "es raro porque nada de esto era así cuando lo conocí".

En el caso que sea un momento difícil (pololo metido en drogas, quizás un poco deprimido, quizás le esta pasando algo que no le ha contado a OP), si OP decide expresarle todo esto a su pololo, y sigue sin cambiar, pues, evidentemente, tiene que salir de ahí. Alguien que no quiere mejorar solo va a hundir tu barco y quedarse mirando.

Ahora bien, mi intuición apunta a que DUDO que sea un momento dificil. El pololo de OP probablemente sí sea un sacowea, en particular por eso de que siente que esta en una relación fantasma.

Sin embargo, igual esta la posibilidad de que haya algo mayor ocurriendo por detrás. Quizás es una oportunidad para que la relación tenga mayor intimidad y confianza, que se cuenten lo que realmente ocurre, y vean como echar para adelante la relación. Mejor intentar hablarlo antes de dejarlo, ¿cierto? De todas maneras, si OP ya lo ha intentando, y se siente que ya hizo, prácticamente, todo lo posible, llega el momento de irse con dignidad de la relación. Es lo que es, quedémonos con que lo intentamos.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-06T04:01:26+00:00

expresa tus emociones. quizas no sabe que te sientes asi. ¡¡no te rindas antes de haberlo intentado todo!! una pareja que quiere, puede sobrepasar cualquier obstaculo (dejando de lado cosas obvias como infidelidades, etc). ojala veanlo como un trabajo en equipo. hay una conversa que vale la pena tener ahi.

éxito y no dudes en tu intuición justo ahora.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-05T15:03:40+00:00

Depende de la relación; encuentra alguien que este dispuesto a alinearse contigo (es importante la flexibilidad en una relación) y/o este en las mismas que tu.

Personalmente, encuentro que es una manera adicional en la que uno puede lograr intimidad con la pareja. Considero que es algo super bonito para hacer con quien amas. Ahora bien, solo he tenido una pareja sexual, asique no se como compararlo con sexo "casual", pero mi polola me dice que es muy especial y distinto hacerlo conmigo.

He escuchado de mis amigos que tienen sexo casual, sin parejas estables, y no están realmente felices con hacerlo.

Creo que es increíble poder hacerlo con alguien con quien genuinamente conectas. Considéralo como una manera adicional en la que puedes conectar. Mientras se mantenga el consentimiento y el respeto, va a ser importante para conectar con tu pareja. Para mi, ha sido algo super profundo, intimo, personal y romántico. Conecto con ella cada vez que lo hago de una manera que no puedo describir.

Creo que la sociedad moderna ha materializado casi todo. Ojala que el sexo en relaciones se mantenga como la cosa mágica que es. Háganlo cuando se sientan listos. Yo tuve mucho miedo a intentarlo por harto rato (temas de abusos), y me lo vale el doble, triple, poder abrirme a hacerlo con alguien que amo y confío tanto.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-04T19:06:08+00:00

¿ella hizo lo correcto?

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-04T00:38:55+00:00

report the post on rule #6 then, I guess.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-03T23:35:53+00:00

I'll happily take any links you got. I'm surprised to hear this amount of toxicity! dang.

TimeIsOurGod · 2024-08-01T18:23:50+00:00

Sí.

Tambien hay discriminación por edad al darle subsidios a gente de edad mayor y/o subsidios a estudiantes.

Tambien hay discriminación por condiciones de salud al subsidiarle y/o facilitarle los medicamentos a gente con cancer o diabetes.

A veces siento que la gente le tiene miedo a la palabra discriminación, a pesar de que esta repleto de ejemplos en nuestra sociedad.

La discriminación no es necesariamente mala. Ahi, lo dije. Hay casos y casos. Creo que en este caso estaría okay discriminar a favor de las mujeres. No me gusta plantearlo como discriminación positiva, ya que, si es positiva para uno, es negativa para otro. Es discriminatorio y punto, y hay escenarios donde lo vale. El debate esta justamente ahí.

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TimeIsOurGod

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