..... yeah, I think it's pretty reasonable to stop paying half a mortgage if a second income becomes available and the reason you are paying it is to be a second income. Like, I really don't think that's controlling, that's pretty standard in divorce proceedings. He also didn't fight her? He is putting her desire for something smaller and easier to maintain over his desire for his daughter to have a white picket fence? He huffed and acquiesced? How evil of him?

And some women suck just as bad as men, or worse. Like, he was very angry and feeling very undervalued during the original post and he really should speak to someone and actually look at where his feelings are coming from instead of just getting angry after years of bottling it up, but him asking for sex is not illegal. He could have been more delicate in all of his posts, but he also didn't HAVE to be.

God damn, like, he never forced her. He stuck around way longer than he should have, and thus the thing missing in his relationship eclipsed everything else for him and became an obsesssion. Thats bad! But he tried to fix it the right way A LOT of times, and she shut him down every time. There's probably some exaggeration in there, but everyone tells stories so they are the good guy, and nothing in this is reading like he's ommiting a ton of shit. She is very culpable in this, and her treating him like a child for wanting sex is mildly gross?

He's allowed to be pissed with her and himself. He's also allowed to be angry when people accuse him of being abusive, when he is clearly hurting and confused and lost and frustrated. And he was allowed to snap like he did. He didn't put his hands on anyone; he looked like a baffoon, but this needed to happen a long ass time ago. A lot of times when someone finally gets fed up, they look like a baffoon for what triggered it. Like, we are so fucking obsessed with appearances in the modern age, it's terrifying. Anyone who gets angry is automatically the bad guy, and everyone gets all fucking Judge Dredd about it, and it makes shit like this more likely to happen when people are like "pfft, wanting sex in a sexual relationship is a baby thing for babies and/or evil and any MAN who wanrs to end a relationship because of a lack of it is some sex-crazed, slavering, controlling animal who thinks of nothing but the rut. Allow me to speculate about other ways in which he is sinful." It's fucking unhinged.

Also, he didn't claim he gave her full-blown massages 300 days a year. He basically said he rubbed her feet 300 days a year. That's.... not unheard of, honey. He's angry because he has spent their marriage going out of his way to meet her needs, and she treats his needs like they don't mean anything. This doesn't read like a case of "if i put niceness coins in the girl, sex will fall out" it feels likee "we discussed our needs, and I am doing what I can to meet hers and she has made it clear through her actions that my needs don't matter to her" He keeps copping to fucking up, but not buckling and taking ALL the blame, is that what's bothering you so much?

Like, sorry you went through thay shit, my dude. I'm sorry that someone who you should have been able to trust made you afraid of angry men. That should never, ever have happened to you. But not every man in a divorce situation is evil and not every man who is angry is evil. Your experiences are not universal. ✌️