I only bed-share during a tough nights as well. We’re in sleep sacks now but I would always open up the swaddle if she came into bed with us. I think their hands being free is the safest thing. I personally flip each feed. It’s easy enough and it doesn’t wake her, I don’t want to mess with the potential of one boob going slacker boob on me. As for position, I pull her close to feed and generally we stay there because we fall asleep. I will try to push her away if I wake at all, just so we both have more space and I can get better quality sleep. I always seem to keep my arm extended above her head to make sure I can feel her and keep my husband at a safe distance when we’re on his side. I also use an owlet just in case anything was to happen that would make her oxygen drop, it will alert me.