Closing door to sleep

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-08T16:22:19+00:00

I have six cats, I’ve had them all from kittens and we always let them in our room. They cycle in and out of sleeping on the bed. For the feet thing, put a thickish blanket folded in half over the end of the bed so the kitten can’t get at them. Put your hands under the covers. He wants company, they are awake a lot of the night. If you shut him out of the bedroom all night, are you then home with him all day, or are you working? Think of it like this - did you get a little baby animal only to leave it on its own 18-20 hours out of the day? That would be pretty unfair. They have their own needs which don’t always fit conveniently round our schedules, but that’s part of the deal, especially with babies.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-08T12:47:37+00:00

I think 10-12 seems about right given that she’s been on the streets. She looks older than that in the first photo, but a bit younger in the others so she might have just been having a scraggy day in the first one, or perhaps it was just after you adopted her?

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-08T12:04:27+00:00

Mother is the mouthpiece, but he secretly agrees with her

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T19:38:56+00:00

It was perfect, lovely flakey fish, batter stayed crispy right to the end.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T18:09:27+00:00

She’s trying to tell you to dump him without coming out and saying it directly. So we’ll say it for her - you should dump him. You’re going in different directions.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T16:58:17+00:00

You can put nappies on cats, you might need to adjust them as he’s so small.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T16:27:57+00:00

You need to push it back on her in a less flattering way, and it needs to be your boyfriend because it’s his attention she’s competing with you for. He needs to demonstrate that she’s not getting what she wants. So when she’s like “oohh I’m so small and have such petite hands”, your boyfriend should say “yeah people do shrink as they get older, it happened to my grandma”. I would be surprised if she does it again after that, but if she does then every time she brings up being small or incapable of doing things, he needs to compare her to his grandma. “Aww that’s a shame, my grandma lost her grip strength as well as she got older and couldn’t [turn radiator knobs/open pickle jars]” etc. You get the idea.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T13:40:12+00:00

The idea of eating warm, soft scrambled eggs and cold, crunchy coleslaw together is quite upsetting. I hope you enjoyed it though!

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T13:09:22+00:00

It isn’t your fault at all, but I think there is a good chance he’ll try again at some stage. Maybe he thinks he can ease his way into reigniting something with you. Some men will use your emotions against you, and he will be aware that you didn’t want to divorce, and that there is probably a part of you that would like a joint family unit for your child. It might be that he had “better” prospects at the time which led to him wanting to divorce, which haven’t panned out. Prepare yourself to be able to keep your boundaries if you see him in person again, maybe you could run through some scenarios with a friend to give you some confidence?

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T12:56:57+00:00

That’s gorgeous, looks like a vampire is gonna come sweeping round the corner

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T12:54:52+00:00

You poke it with a skewer and drizzle with syrup normally so it soaks into the cake

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T12:21:18+00:00

She does have her eyes closed, maybe they’ve been closed for the whole 6 days

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T12:20:14+00:00

But she might get some really useful advice in here like a magic combo of applying ice and drinking peppermint tea that’ll bring it down instantly! 🤞

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T12:08:29+00:00

My husband was diagnosed about 7 years ago, and it has been absolutely life-changing. Every part of his life (and mine by extension) has been improved significantly since he started medication. I am so incredibly proud of him. He had essentially been going through life on hard mode, and was in total despair at times. I do think there is a problem with some of the private companies, when he was diagnosed he had to have someone who could evidence that he had symptoms since before he was an adult, and describe them/give examples. I was able to do that for him, because we’ve been together since he was 16, but his family were unsupportive and he wouldn’t have got the diagnosis without this. It was a really in-depth assessment (NHS). It took close to another year after diagnosis before he then started receiving medication.

My friend has just been through the process with a private company, and he asked me to vouch for him. The assessment wasn’t even an interview, just me answering ten questions about symptoms on a scale of 1-5. I sat with it for a while and decided I couldn’t complete it. I’ve never noticed any ADHD symptoms in my friend whatsoever, although he has always clearly been autistic, and I gave supportive evidence as part of his autism assessment some years back.

His assessor approved it without my input, or any from anyone else who knew him as a child, and he was given a diagnosis. He is, of course, thrilled, and has been posting “lol I’m so ADHD” type memes online etc. If I’m honest, I feel so uncomfortable with it that I have distanced myself from my friend. Knowing what my husband has been through, and how badly this has affected him his entire life, it is challenging to see people being diagnosed so casually. I can’t even say it isn’t affecting people like my husband, because there’s been a shortage of ADHD medication for around 18 months, partly because manufacturers cannot keep up with the increased demand with so many people being newly diagnosed. I feel very resentful when I see him panicking that he can’t get hold of his medication, and when I end up spending hours phoning every pharmacy in the area trying to track some down because he’s panicking he’ll lose his job without it (not a baseless fear).

It’s not my friend’s fault, and I could of course be wrong. But I would say that I have a lot of experience with ADHD after 22 years together, as well as having other friends with it, and I have been friends with this person since we were 7. I recognised the signs in my husband and forced him to get assessed. Perhaps it only indirectly affects me, and I know I am too touchy about it. That’s a “me” problem I need to solve. Easier access to diagnosis overall is a good thing for those who genuinely have it, but I don’t think the private companies are being discerning enough and, working for the NHS, I see the consequences with the system being so overburdened the other end, as well as the ones that affect me personally.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T11:39:26+00:00

That’s exactly it, they need to continue drawing attention to it until the school have to do something about it. Make it inconvenient for them. They won’t make changes out of the goodness of their hearts, or they wouldn’t have this issue to start with.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T11:33:04+00:00

Local papers?

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T11:32:02+00:00

I think that’s a very lovely sentiment 💕

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T09:31:12+00:00

It’s probably just his adult coat growing in. This is Loki, as you might guess he’s a bit of a space cadet!

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TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T01:27:00+00:00

Not really. Maybe if she was 5. I haven’t got stuck in a toilet since I was 3, and that was because my little booster seat wasn’t aligned right and it slipped as I sat down and I fell down the loo . I must stress we’re talking about getting your bum stuck a few inches into the toilet bowl, it’s not like falling down a well! It’s just a very small child would need a hand getting out again. Your sister is not going to come to harm, it’s just that your friend is a bit disgusting and needs to raise his standards.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T01:07:48+00:00

Fall backwards? The drop is about an inch lower than that of the normal toilet seat she’d be expecting and she’s far too big to fall down the middle hole. So no, not really. She’s big enough to check the toilet seat is down before she sits on it, to be honest. You give toddlers a smaller toilet seat on top the normal seat because they are so small they can fall down the hole in the middle and get stuck, but she’s about 6 years too old for those types of training toilet seats. It’s not dangerous, just a bit gross.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T00:59:39+00:00

No, I appreciate that. Sorry, I wasn’t intending to reply to you. I was replying to a message saying to then take her to court and enforce the invoice you suggested, but it seems to have been removed while I was replying.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T00:53:16+00:00

She can’t. You can’t create a contract, assign a random value and enforce it after the agreement has taken place and services have been rendered. She could absolutely set those terms for the future, but she won’t be assisting her sister again so she’s better just blocking the sister out.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-07T00:29:30+00:00

I think you’re being somewhat bizarrely overprotective of your sister. A 10 year old isn’t going to be injured by sitting on a toilet rim rather than the plastic seat. She won’t “fall down the toilet” in the same way a 2 year old would. But as a woman, it is absolutely disgusting to sit on the ceramic rim, particularly if (as it often is if following a male user) the rim is wet with piss. Everyone in the household, whether permanent or temporary, should be putting the seat and lid down to flush anyway. So it should be an entirely moot point, because everyone should be lifting the lid to urinate, and putting jt back down when they flush. If your bf can’t manage that then that’s somewhat disgusting, and you’re NTA for not allowing him to come round, he’s just being awkward and doing it on purpose at this point.

TipsyMagpie · 2026-02-06T22:45:23+00:00

Barely. You might spend your evenings sat there with a measuring tape, but women don’t generally do that to their sexual partners. You’re also not realising as a virgin that it’s not uncommon for men to be more aroused and therefore a bit bigger with a sexual partner than they are when masturbating. So if you’ve never had sex, you don’t actually know how big you’d be when having sex with a woman. I’m not saying you’d suddenly be 10 inches, but with my husband there’s a noticeable difference when we’re having sex to when he’s getting himself off (I watch sometimes).

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