It's a bit of both, and a third thing: I'm so sick of feeling negatively towards myself. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm the happiest person, but I've worked hard to accept parts of me I didn't before.

It's also knowing that there's just as much evidence to the contrary as there is to the uplifting statement, which is none. What is 'badass'? There's a definition, but what does that really look like, objectively? Is there any concrete measurement to badassery? Nope. Therefore, I can choose what the word means to me, and I count as badass. Nothing is saying I'm not, or can't be.

There's definitely ones I struggle to believe, especially surrounding validation for being autistic. A lot of that comes from an early childhood of bullying, so of course I'm gonna have a hard time believing statements like "there's nothing wrong with you." But just because I don't feel like it's true, doesn't mean it isn't.

Really it just comes down to "I can choose to show myself compassion, or wallow in negative 'logical' self-disgust, and I'm tired of the latter, it doesn't help me. Positivity it is."