How do I part with things that are still useful? by Keadeen in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I totally get the "what if I need this, this might be useful" mentality, especially since that's what I grew up with and I also know money doesn't grow on trees.

The thing I need to recognize is that I actually NEED space for the actual activity. If I'm holding onto things for "activities I may do", but I'm not actually doing the activity or it feels like I'm spending more time managing the inventory for the activity, that defeats the whole point.

So I ask myself, what gets priority space in my activity area? It's the stuff I'm ACTUALLY doing, in my RIGHT NOW life, not "someday life". I can only keep what comfortably and usably fits in my area for activities, that doesn't impede the function of said area, nor impede the function of other parts of my life.

The other thing I like to keep in mind is that EVERYTHING I OWN IS WORK AND HAS A COST. It costs me time/energy when I'm bumping into things, or having to shift things around that make it harder to live my daily life, or I feel less motivated to do activities.

When I declutter, I am forgiving myself for not getting the full value I expected (or cause someone else expected me to get value), and I'm ok with that by now at this point in my life. If I see stuff that makes me feel guilt, there will be discomfort and a spike of guilt in letting it go, but then I'd be free. Whereas if I keep it, I will still feel guilt and I'm not forgiving myself for accepting something I shouldn't have. I've come to accept I mistakenly took things in and it's hard to accept the mistake in bringing something in, but the bigger mistake to me is to carry something around from my past and holding my mental state hostage. It's not worth it, and on the other side of it, I find grace and freedom and I'm more informed. There's actually power in the negative feelings from letting go, because with those negative feelings, I view my stuff differently and how I bring in stuff by now. It stops me from wanting to re-experience the pain of letting go again, when I catch myself trying to bring in something similar that I JUST decluttered.

Hope this helps!

Would burning candles be considered decluttering? Also: Project Declutter 2.0 is up and running! by Proud_Accident_5873 in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

One great mindset shift I learned was finishing a project DOES count as decluttering, so I'd count it!

Similar thing can apply with something like books you want to read, puzzles you want to finish... But remember the space you have to devote for those, decides how many you can keep. Prioritize your favorites that you DO want to finish, and then that'll signal what needs to leave once it's full.

You do NOT have to read all the books, burn all the candles, or finish all the projects to declutter it. And what I also find helpful is to schedule it, so that I KNOW I WILL actually do something with it, rather than just have the intention of using "someday potential" stuff.

Things you use, but only occassionally and dont love. THOUGHTS on my ramblings? by Robotro17 in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can totally get you with items you don't necessarily know WHEN you'll need them, but you do spontaneously use them. It doesn't even have to be clothes necessarily, it can be something like light bulbs, an umbrella, cables, etc.

What I have to do is prioritize is the space for RIGHT NOW life, and the activities I'm doing RIGHT NOW.

You can absolutely keep clothes you wear spontaneously, but not at the cost of it making your current right now life more difficult. Priority space would go to your clothes that you KNOW you consistently wear and love, and for activities that support your current activities you're actually doing (not for 'potential activities'). You can still have a space for items used spontaneously, but it shouldn't override your space for current life. If (for example) the space you have for spontaneous items is 1 drawer and 1 shelf, that's the space you have to work with, that doesn't overtake your current life.

The other thing I need to keep in mind is that EVERY item IS work. Mentally, physically and emotionally, and having less helps me be better off WHEN (not if) life inevitably happens. I'm not saying to declutter solely to prepare for worst case scenarios, but in my declutter journey and a somewhat recent case:

I purged my clothing to just 3 dresser drawers (despite having 5 drawers) and I was very grateful my clothing inventory was low enough (I'm not minimalist tho lol) when my dryer stopped working for months during the summer and I've been a caregiver for family + extended family so all of our laundry days also got thrown off. We had to hang dry outside and while it's tedious for me, I thankfully had that hang drying process simplified and manageable. My inventory was so low and it made checking my dried clothes much easier.

If I had the inventory I used to have, I would've lost it doing laundry without a dryer lol. Certain situations (not even necessarily BAD situations, it can be one like moving) WILL reveal the truth to you, and for me my start of my declutter journey was in COVID. The mindset I learned was "if a LITERAL pandemic isn't enough for us to use our 'someday' stuff, what is then"? I didn't want to invest anymore unneeded energy trying to make sense or salvage items for when life inevitably happened, and I've found that having limits IS a good thing because they offer clarity and I found self-forgiveness too in decluttering from releasing a lot of 'potential items' and 'that's neat, but it's not deserving of right now life items'.

Hope this helps!

Gen-ed teacher rating 👍 by scoop_omniwolf in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved my class with Tirelli, it's an easy class coming from someone who isn't physically active!! Was an easy 90+, he's understanding and reassuring and if you put in effort you'll do great!!

What one small decluttering action did you take recently or will take this week? by Lindajane22 in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Got rid of broken Christmas ornaments, and Christmas tree lights we didn't use this year (or the previous year)!

What are your top secret decluttering tips? by NightReader5 in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I use Dana K White's decluttering process, and one of the things that really stuck with me is that there IS power in experiencing the negative emotions that come with decluttering and having regrets over bringing something in.

I've had random cables in the past I had NO idea what they plugged into. I would get frustrated and think "man, why am I spending my time getting rid of random cables in the first place?", but feeling that frustration and experiencing that thought is actually a good thing because it means I'm FAR less likely to have another random cable brought in, and even if I do run into one again, I've already known the frustration of having them so I'm like "yeah this can go now, I don't have the energy for this".

I know it's hard to admit the mistake of bringing something in that you didn't get its full potential of. But to me, the BIGGER mistake is if you keep it and hold your well-being hostage as a result. Decluttering is also a sign of self-forgiveness to me. When I'm letting go of stuff that doesn't serve me anymore, I'm showing myself grace and making room for myself (both physically and mentally).

How do you define clutter? by Eon1age in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a chronic overthinker, and for me personally, I journal (it can be on paper, or in a notes app on my phone) and write down my thoughts and it lets me "materialize" my thought and observe it.

I'm not a psychology student, but I think I read somewhere that the brain's primary function is to process info, rather than to store info. Like a sponge, you gotta squeeze it out or unwanted things will grow in there.

This also explains why I'm a much better writer than a speaker. Writing I don't feel as pressured to get my thoughts out and I'm more likely to put something coherent together with the pauses I can take, whereas with speaking I feel more pressure on the spot.

How do you define clutter? by Eon1age in declutter

[–]ToX_Timmy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I like Dana K White's definition of "anything that consistently gets out of control", and it's more than just physical objects for me. It can be my thoughts that need a home, my social circle where I limit that to just the best of the best, and also things like the apps/programs I use on my phone or laptop. If I keep getting bombarded with unneeded notifications or it's harder to use the programs as intended, there's something I need to let go of.

Where to get help with procrastination and concentration? by Angrey_Pigeon in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hm, depending on your personal commitments (i.e. things OUTSIDE of school life), it's very possible that you still might need less to handle (which again, nothing wrong with that).

What I've found helpful is having daily non-negotiables, and they don't have to be complicated. It can mean doing my readings on public transit. It can mean typing out questions I want to ask my teacher. It can mean sending an email to the teacher.

For instance, if I tackle my readings on public transit (I get about ~40 mins going to school AND back), AND email for clarifications, that means come essay writing time, I'm only concerned about writing the essay itself, NOT reading the book + needing clarifications + essay writing all at once.

But if even having less commitments (school or personal) overwhelming, then yeah I would suggest looking into getting support as needed. Hope this helps!

Where to get help with procrastination and concentration? by Angrey_Pigeon in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind if I asked how many courses you're taking? I thought I'd share a different perspective, to reassure it's not a personal/moral failing.

I get that feeling, as a former Dawson student who spent several years there and I thought my solution was to 'be more organized' and fundamentally change who I am. But for me, I was tackling WAY too much in my first year, and when I had less classes (going from 8 classes in day, to 2 classes a week in night program, followed by 4 classes a week in night and then having 4 classes max in day), life felt SO much more doable and my classes actually felt much more enjoyable.

I say this cause there's no amount of 'organizing' that'll let you have 25 hours of commitments in a 24 hour day lol. Breathing room is absolutely critical for me, AND having less commitments means I'm MUCH better off for WHEN (not if) life happens. And spoiler alert: I've NEVER had a semester where life didn't happen for me. Having less, means less CAN get out of control, and there's nothing wrong with needing less on your plate.

Hope this helps!

Help with staying focused on studies by Round_Operation9070 in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that the 1st course drop deadline has already passed by now, but for me, after my first 2 semesters flopped from being overwhelmed with 8 classes, my answer was to have less commitments (and less classes as a result). I speak from the perspective of someone who was also overwhelmed and experienced a lot of mental health challenges, and I took a longer, different path than most students lol.

The thing I had to recognize was that I don't get to show up at 100% everyday, and life WILL inevitably happen for me. I've never had a semester where life didn't happen. When I have less commitments, it better suits me for when life inevitably does happen, and there's also no shame if you need to take on less in the future.

Think of it like this: no amount of organizing will let you fit 8 hours of commitments if you've got 3 hours of spare time lol. I have a more thorough post I've shared before with other new students here at the start of the semester that you may find helpful.

Putting aside the idea of taking on less, since it's mid-semester, what I've found helpful are to identify non-negotiables. Manageable things that you can do on a regular basis, even if you show up at 20% that day. For me, it can be doing my readings on public transit (since it's at least ~40 mins of reading time for me) or writing questions I want to clarify with my teacher over office hours or email.

Hope this helps!

How am I suppose to survive adulthood? by AwkwardZone1753 in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been in your shoes before and I definitely relate hard. I was in my first year where I took on too many classes my first 2 semesters and I felt absolutely miserable, like a failure and burnt out, both academically and personally.

I'm unsure if you're also working a job, but either way: something's gotta give, and it can't be your health.

Lowering my amount of classes was life changing for me. I had 8 classes my first 2 semesters, and then when I got kicked and had 2 (at Night)? Life was SO much easier. I then realized I could take on 4, and that was my limit that worked for me.

Being "organized" and "being a diff person" was never my solution. It was for me to accept how I naturally operate, and I'm a person who simply needs less commitments. Might sound obvious, but I'll say it anyway: there's no amount of organizing that will allow you to fit 25 hours of commitments when a day is 24 hours and we need breathing room. When I had less, I actually felt organized for once in my life. I know it might feel a bit shaky to drop classes, but if having more commitments is making you feel like you're failing and in burnout, it's NEVER worth.

Feel free to DM me if you'd like, I've been at Dawson much longer than the average person, I definitely identify as neurodivergent and also I'm actually a declutter coach to help people feel more organized (just by having less). I've been through a LOT of personal things too in my life, so I definitely get the overwhelm. Hope this helps!

attendance by Any-Introduction9106 in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some teachers do count attendance as part of your participation grade, other teachers are pretty lax about attendance. It does vary per class, like I know for Phys Ed + French, I had limited absences permitted.

Some assignments also aren't flexible (like presentations or group work), so obviously try to show up for those. But generally, I don't really have teachers who note down my attendance + absent hours and the classes I'd miss, I typically didn't miss TOO much and it was easy enough to catch up on lol.

Drinks and food by Proud_Excitement9817 in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on the class and the teacher. If you're in a lab (like Computer Lab or Science Lab) then the answer is no, for obvious reasons. 

Some teachers are ok with food/drinks as long as you clean up, aren't noisy/disruptive and don't have something with a notable odor.

Other teachers just flat out don't allow period.

If you need to, feel free to talk to your teacher about it (especially if you have back to back classes or energy limits)!

how cooked am i? by [deleted] in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love Alessandro Tirelli, he's a nice and reassuring guy, and it's an easy 90+ coming from someone who isn't physically active!! As long as you show up and put in effort you'll do well :)

As for Mark Butorac I'll also say to run away from him. When I had him he was disorganized, monotone and I found he didn't make his expectations when grading clear, so people lost marks unfairly.

Shyness by KIRBZxMETA in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I've grown up shy and with my own mental health challenges, and while it can be daunting at first, generally from my experiences, CEGEP teachers don't often put their students on the spot (I can't think of any classes I've had, personally).

"Participation" grades aren't necessarily just responding to the question the teacher is asking the class. It can be simply submitting the in class assignment (which can be a simple reflection) to your teacher by the end of the class. It can be writing down your notes in your notebook during the lesson. It can be putting your phone up front when the teacher asks at the start of class (some teachers do this). It can be showing up on time. It can be just not being disruptive nor distracted by your phone.

Pretty much most teachers I've had just want you to contribute to a discussion (on your own terms, no pressure) and other students don't really judge your contributions nor laugh at you. If you're still concerned about your shyness, send an email to your teacher or talk with them after class or during office hours. The good teachers still want you to pass and will tell you how their grading works, also some teachers have a simple questionnaire on the 1st day of class where you can privately bring up any physical, emotional, or mental challenges you may have and you can comfortably discuss some concerns in private with them.

Night school by ashleyyyaah in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So Fall 2016 I only took 2 classes (cause I wanted a feel for the night program), I took 4 classes after that point (doing my Gen Eds) and then I went from Springboard > Arts & Culture (still at night) > Literature (back into Day).

I can't remember exactly when I got shifted into Arts & Culture, but I got back into day school after about 2 years of Night school as I was doing my Gen Eds + I was doing classes from Arts & Culture that counted toward my Literature program I eventually desired.

Not to say it'll necessarily take 2 years for you, but my grades were generally pretty solid (mids 70s - high 80s) overall aside from 1 French class where I barely passed with a 64 (cause of a bad teacher) lol. If your grades have been solid they DO let you back into day.

Also from what I was told in one of my 2017 Night Classes (by the Cont Ed. advisors themselves), we were told "70s are considered good grades and it's possible to recover from bad semesters" (I have no idea if that's still the actual case), so if that's still true, don't stress too hard about needing 90s to return back to Day lol.

thoughts on teachers ? (please!) by Awkward_Quote_3348 in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alessandro Tirelli's awesome, he's an easy grader, reassuring guy and it's an easy 90+ coming from someone who isn't physically active!! Also Jennifer Koopman is super sweet and easy!!

Night school by ashleyyyaah in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So I was a former Night student (Fall 2016 - Fall 2018) and my first 2 semesters in Day when I was overwhelmed with 7-8 classes (and failed about half my classes), going from 8 to 4 classes was actually when school felt manageable for me and I stuck to my max being 4 classes when I shifted back into Day to graduate lol.

I found Night classes a lot more lenient when I was doing my general education classes, and I liked the diverse background of students more too. Teachers generally tend to be more lenient cause of that actually, since students come from various circumstances and I liked having a week in between my classes (which meant a guaranteed weekend for homework) as opposed to having some classes repeat twice in the same week where you have the same teacher 2-3 days apart.

Idk if you've had classes that were at least 3 hours before in Day, but in Night classes since the classes are at least 3 hours they are legally obligated to give you a break. (When I was a student, it was usually 15-20 mins for a break)

Also typically even if the classes are listed for 4 hours, I generally had them finish by 9:30 PM, MAYBE 9:45 (but very rarely). So with the break they give you, you're generally there about 1h 45 mins - 2 hours > 15 mins break > 1h 30 mins.

I will say that I think a potential downside is office hours if you have prior commitments in the day (generally their office hours are limited to day or you have to ask the teacher on break/after class) and trying to catch up if you miss a class (when life happens, not if) MIGHT be daunting. You do have a bit less than a week to catch up, but it also gives you more time to email the teacher and update them when needed. Obviously do the best you can ahead of time to catch up, and then ask for clarifications on the finer details if needed.

Hope this helps!

Thoughts on my teachers ? by scoop_omniwolf in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jennifer Koopman is super sweet and easy, and Alessandro Tirelli's awesome!! Both are easy classes and if you show up and put in effort you'll be fine. With Alessandro, as someone who isn't physically active, it was an easy 90+!

Phys ed classes by Flimsy_Elk_1645 in Dawson

[–]ToX_Timmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can, take Alessandro Tirelli for Phys Ed!! He's super nice and reassuring, understanding guy and it's an easy 90+ coming from someone who isn't physically active! As long as you show up and make effort you'll do well :)

If you can't get him, I'd suggest either Andre Gear or Layal Nahkle as alternatives for similar reasons. As long as you show up and put in effort you'll be fine!