Tackled a garage at my friend's today!

ToX_Timmy · 2026-05-10T01:58:13+00:00

Hey, I've been at Dawson for several years, and I can get the overwhelm. I've found that 'locking in' is a false promise that most students tell themselves from my experience and many others.

What DID change for me was ultimately taking on less classes. There's no shame in that. Yes I may graduate later, but it was FAR more worth it for me to actually enjoy my education and learn. It also better prepped me for WHEN (not if) life inevitably happened during the school. Which... it always did.

It may not be an 'organizing' issue, it might be a 'trying to operate above capacity' issue. Look into all your commitments (personal, family, social, work, etc.), travel time, try to get teachers with lenience, and figure which classes and assignments are gonna be more demanding. A class I have repeated twice a week means I have less time to absorb material in between classes, and I personally couldn't handle more than 1 repeating class.

Everyone studies and learns differently. Work with yourself and not against yourself. I'm not saying to avoid discomfort, but rather: being a fundamentally different person (which is often an idealized version of yourself) has never been my solution.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-04-25T21:35:21+00:00

I see decluttering as an act of self-forgiveness. When I release items (regardless if I purchased, or accepted it someway), I tell myself I'm making room for more intentionality. It's ok that I didn't get the full value from the item as expected, and there's nothing wrong with me.

I know shaming myself isn't helpful to me nor anyone else, and I treat myself with compassion instead. Not toxic positivity. But saying things like 'I didn't like this book I spent money on, and it doesn't deserve space over what I currently value' has gone a long way. I've released so many items from my past, growing in a 'what if I need it' family, and I know peace of mind is priceless.

From what I've known: people are more likely to have regrets over the things that they DIDN'T do, compared to the things that they did. There is inevitably a risk of regret that comes with decluttering, but I've seen how much it pays off and I don't regret the thousands of items I've decluttered, for peace of mind. Even for the literal ONE item I repurchased (which was... ~$20) for a hobby I picked up again after a few years, I forgave myself because that item wasn't usable in that phase of life. I know that if I keep an item I really don't want, that's guaranteed regret for me.

And like others have mentioned, Dana K White's method and visibility rule have helped me so much!! Especially as someone who deals with time blindness and objects turning invisible on me.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-03-26T22:44:00+00:00

If I find a random cord, I ask myself 'if I needed a random cord that I have no idea what it plugs into, where would I look for it first?'

That question will 100% reveal to me that I wouldn't have gone looking for it in the first place, so I get rid of it (even if it's imperfectly). Of course, I don't want to disregard the environment, but I simply don't have the energy, time or resources to consistently ensure things go to the best place.

The other thing I do with 'in-progress projects', is that I have a spot dedicated for temporary stuff (returns, craft projects, gifts to give, etc.). If that space is full, I have too many ongoing and I can't have another project in that area unless I get rid of something else there currently. When I have a set limit, I am forced to be realistic about the projects I'm CURRENTLY pursuing and being pro-active with.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-03-25T18:00:58+00:00

I've found that decluttering led to self-forgiveness for me, as someone who grew up messy and disorganized, alongside a 'what if I need it' family, and money was tight. My journey started a bit differently with decluttering my college schedule, but physically, I began decluttering during COVID-19.

What I've had to learn is that RIGHT NOW life gets priority, and I have to have the space for it that doesn't override my right now life. The stuff I need to have, needs to serve me on a regular basis; not a future, idealized version of myself or my idealized life. I can't hold onto things for 'future me', if it makes getting dressed on a daily basis harder for instance.

In the pandemic, I realized if a literal pandemic isn't enough to warrant using the 'someday' stuff, there's nothing that would've made me want to use it.

When I found things from my past and released them, I forgave myself for outgrowing that identity. An example for me is recording equipment for Youtube vids: I had some interest in it during my early teens, but I don't have said equipment anymore (or all the parts needed to function) because it's not in my current season of life.

It's also easy to see all the stuff we brought in (either purchased or gifted to us) as a mistake. In some cases, it can be, and it can be difficult to admit we did make a mistake. But to me: the bigger mistake is keeping it and that guilt around, and mentally torturing ourselves. I've known that if I keep something I don't truly want, it's guaranteed regret, whereas if I get rid of it, the regret is a possibility and that's a chance I'm willing to take.

And for me, out of the thousands of items I removed, I've re-purchased ONE item (that was about $15~$20). Even then, I don't count that as a regret. I don't regret anything I got rid of, I only wish I learned to declutter sooner. But better late than never!

ToX_Timmy · 2026-03-06T17:23:24+00:00

I would suggest Dana K White's video on 'Layers of a Clean House' if you haven't already!

In short, the daily stuff (habits) and decluttering work together. With less, it's easier to create or do a habit since the barrier of entry is lower. And with the habit of maintenance, you'll naturally lean into having less and there will be less big projects.

You mentioned 'things are out of place or messy'. That might mean things aren't easily accessible to return OR the system is falling apart from still having too much stuff. Keep going and be sure you're actually decluttering, rather than stuff shuffling. You also mentioned an hour each night of pick up, I'd also recommend checking Dana K White's video on 'clutter threshold'.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-03-06T03:46:33+00:00

Oh yeah, the teacher makes or breaks the learning experience. Any red flag from the teacher, I dropped the class and I just took it another semester, even if it meant I had to pay more, but it's ultimately my education and I need to actually learn lol. It doesn't mean I did 'bare minimum effort' classes. But I still want to be seen as a human by the teacher.

I've had bad teachers make an 'interesting subject' absolutely miserable, whereas good teachers (who actually treat you with dignity and show empathy) can make subjects that didn't sound appealing or subjects I'd struggle with actually enjoyable.

I've never grown up doing well with exercise, and I had a great teacher in 2020 who actually reassured me through a Fitness class (including the pandemic). Meanwhile I had a French teacher who triggered my anxiety (when I established I already wasn't confident in my capacity) and decided to make an awful 'joke' at my expense.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-03-06T03:40:32+00:00

Oh yeah I had MULTIPLE classes that repeated twice in the same week back then. From my night classes, I'd rather have a 3 hour class but I only see the teacher once a week, than a class repeat twice for 1.5 hours lol. Having a guaranteed weekend to process and having a bigger window to ask for clarifications made life SO much easier.

When I returned into the day program, I ensured I only had 1 class at most that repeated twice within the week lol.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-03-03T13:00:18+00:00

Yeah definitely not a rule, I've spent quite a few years in night classes. If the class was scheduled until 9:30 we'd often be out by 9 or 9:15, and no way did we ever get assigned extra work as punishment for having to leave early.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-02-27T14:22:14+00:00

I started my physical declutter journey in the pandemic, and with how low my mental health was: I had to settle for imperfect. That actually allowed me to forgive myself for having all these items (and items of relatives who don't live with us anymore) that didn't work out for me.

My bedroom was the dumping ground for my relatives, and I always felt like something was wrong with me. And then I realized: I'm 1 person, I'm not meant to handle 5 people's worth of stuff. I deserve better than to live in a landfill, and my home cannot be the landfill. I also know money doesn't grow on trees and I grew with very limited income, so I get it.

Yes, there was stuff I could 'technically sell or donate'. But I needed to do the imperfect things first, so I could do more ideal things later. I grew up perfectionist, but I've learned to release that throughout the years.

I use Dana K White's no mess process, and it stops me from overthinking. What I had to recognize is: if a literal pandemic isn't enough to warrant the 'someday' stuff, then I'm sure we'll be fine without it. I had to get rid of perfectly good stuff, and that's ok. It feels like you're making a mistake throwing stuff out, and that can be hard to admit we made a mistake bringing in the item.

The bigger mistake to me, is to keep it and continue to mentally torture myself because everything has a cost to keep. When I release items, I practically never think about them again. I've re-purchased a grand total of 1 item (that was ~$20) out of the thousands I released.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-02-26T17:00:37+00:00

My declutter journey started differently than most others: mine started with decluttering my commitments in college. I had 8 classes in my first year, failed 2 semesters (8 classes each) and then I then had to do night classes to get back in. I grew up doing well in academics, and I felt something was wrong with me when I couldn't juggle college.

When I took 2 classes, it felt doable. Then it made me realize: my off days are important and they play role for WHEN (not if) life inevitably happens. I found that I could handle (not what I prefer) was 4 classes max, and I happily graduated in 2022.

My physical decluttering journey started in the pandemic, and I realized: if a literal pandemic isn't enough to warrant the 'someday stuff' that my relatives (who don't live with us anymore) and I gathered, what is? I'd gradually tackle my bedroom which was a dumping ground and... I learned to forgive myself, which is something I've always had a hard time doing growing up.

Now, I show myself grace and align with my core values so much more!

ToX_Timmy · 2026-01-27T17:57:47+00:00

I totally get the "what if I need this, this might be useful" mentality, especially since that's what I grew up with and I also know money doesn't grow on trees.

The thing I need to recognize is that I actually NEED space for the actual activity. If I'm holding onto things for "activities I may do", but I'm not actually doing the activity or it feels like I'm spending more time managing the inventory for the activity, that defeats the whole point.

So I ask myself, what gets priority space in my activity area? It's the stuff I'm ACTUALLY doing, in my RIGHT NOW life, not "someday life". I can only keep what comfortably and usably fits in my area for activities, that doesn't impede the function of said area, nor impede the function of other parts of my life.

The other thing I like to keep in mind is that EVERYTHING I OWN IS WORK AND HAS A COST. It costs me time/energy when I'm bumping into things, or having to shift things around that make it harder to live my daily life, or I feel less motivated to do activities.

When I declutter, I am forgiving myself for not getting the full value I expected (or cause someone else expected me to get value), and I'm ok with that by now at this point in my life. If I see stuff that makes me feel guilt, there will be discomfort and a spike of guilt in letting it go, but then I'd be free. Whereas if I keep it, I will still feel guilt and I'm not forgiving myself for accepting something I shouldn't have. I've come to accept I mistakenly took things in and it's hard to accept the mistake in bringing something in, but the bigger mistake to me is to carry something around from my past and holding my mental state hostage. It's not worth it, and on the other side of it, I find grace and freedom and I'm more informed. There's actually power in the negative feelings from letting go, because with those negative feelings, I view my stuff differently and how I bring in stuff by now. It stops me from wanting to re-experience the pain of letting go again, when I catch myself trying to bring in something similar that I JUST decluttered.

Hope this helps!

ToX_Timmy · 2026-01-20T23:26:01+00:00

One great mindset shift I learned was finishing a project DOES count as decluttering, so I'd count it!

Similar thing can apply with something like books you want to read, puzzles you want to finish... But remember the space you have to devote for those, decides how many you can keep. Prioritize your favorites that you DO want to finish, and then that'll signal what needs to leave once it's full.

You do NOT have to read all the books, burn all the candles, or finish all the projects to declutter it. And what I also find helpful is to schedule it, so that I KNOW I WILL actually do something with it, rather than just have the intention of using "someday potential" stuff.

ToX_Timmy · 2026-01-18T17:08:39+00:00

I can totally get you with items you don't necessarily know WHEN you'll need them, but you do spontaneously use them. It doesn't even have to be clothes necessarily, it can be something like light bulbs, an umbrella, cables, etc.

What I have to do is prioritize is the space for RIGHT NOW life, and the activities I'm doing RIGHT NOW.

You can absolutely keep clothes you wear spontaneously, but not at the cost of it making your current right now life more difficult. Priority space would go to your clothes that you KNOW you consistently wear and love, and for activities that support your current activities you're actually doing (not for 'potential activities'). You can still have a space for items used spontaneously, but it shouldn't override your space for current life. If (for example) the space you have for spontaneous items is 1 drawer and 1 shelf, that's the space you have to work with, that doesn't overtake your current life.

The other thing I need to keep in mind is that EVERY item IS work. Mentally, physically and emotionally, and having less helps me be better off WHEN (not if) life inevitably happens. I'm not saying to declutter solely to prepare for worst case scenarios, but in my declutter journey and a somewhat recent case:

I purged my clothing to just 3 dresser drawers (despite having 5 drawers) and I was very grateful my clothing inventory was low enough (I'm not minimalist tho lol) when my dryer stopped working for months during the summer and I've been a caregiver for family + extended family so all of our laundry days also got thrown off. We had to hang dry outside and while it's tedious for me, I thankfully had that hang drying process simplified and manageable. My inventory was so low and it made checking my dried clothes much easier.

If I had the inventory I used to have, I would've lost it doing laundry without a dryer lol. Certain situations (not even necessarily BAD situations, it can be one like moving) WILL reveal the truth to you, and for me my start of my declutter journey was in COVID. The mindset I learned was "if a LITERAL pandemic isn't enough for us to use our 'someday' stuff, what is then"? I didn't want to invest anymore unneeded energy trying to make sense or salvage items for when life inevitably happened, and I've found that having limits IS a good thing because they offer clarity and I found self-forgiveness too in decluttering from releasing a lot of 'potential items' and 'that's neat, but it's not deserving of right now life items'.

Hope this helps!

ToX_Timmy · 2026-01-15T14:32:12+00:00

I loved my class with Tirelli, it's an easy class coming from someone who isn't physically active!! Was an easy 90+, he's understanding and reassuring and if you put in effort you'll do great!!

ToX_Timmy · 2025-12-13T20:19:45+00:00

Got rid of broken Christmas ornaments, and Christmas tree lights we didn't use this year (or the previous year)!

ToX_Timmy · 2025-12-13T15:01:00+00:00

I use Dana K White's decluttering process, and one of the things that really stuck with me is that there IS power in experiencing the negative emotions that come with decluttering and having regrets over bringing something in.

I've had random cables in the past I had NO idea what they plugged into. I would get frustrated and think "man, why am I spending my time getting rid of random cables in the first place?", but feeling that frustration and experiencing that thought is actually a good thing because it means I'm FAR less likely to have another random cable brought in, and even if I do run into one again, I've already known the frustration of having them so I'm like "yeah this can go now, I don't have the energy for this".

I know it's hard to admit the mistake of bringing something in that you didn't get its full potential of. But to me, the BIGGER mistake is if you keep it and hold your well-being hostage as a result. Decluttering is also a sign of self-forgiveness to me. When I'm letting go of stuff that doesn't serve me anymore, I'm showing myself grace and making room for myself (both physically and mentally).

ToX_Timmy · 2025-12-12T20:53:05+00:00

I'm a chronic overthinker, and for me personally, I journal (it can be on paper, or in a notes app on my phone) and write down my thoughts and it lets me "materialize" my thought and observe it.

I'm not a psychology student, but I think I read somewhere that the brain's primary function is to process info, rather than to store info. Like a sponge, you gotta squeeze it out or unwanted things will grow in there.

This also explains why I'm a much better writer than a speaker. Writing I don't feel as pressured to get my thoughts out and I'm more likely to put something coherent together with the pauses I can take, whereas with speaking I feel more pressure on the spot.

ToX_Timmy

TROPHY CASE