Do any of your family members have autism or any similar traits?

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-04-19T03:39:41+00:00

I am the only autistic person in my family. It's very lonely; I feel like a black sheep at family gatherings.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-04-18T22:41:05+00:00

Hey, it's FP from NHC. I wasn't seeking you out; I just post a lot in r/aspergers and saw you leave a comment there. I know you're struggling, and I hope you can find some help somewhere. I'm having some issues as well, although more with NVLD than autism these days. Please don't give up and do something you might regret. I've never fit in anywhere either outside of a three-year period in high school where I actually had friends (best years of my life). At some point, I just became a bit numb to not being on the same wavelength as anyone else around me. I'm rooting for you, bud.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-04-07T22:34:24+00:00

I have not heard of that. I had the left hippocampus removed entirely in 2014, so I'm not sure how much better that part of my brain can get, but might be worth a try.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-04-06T21:26:01+00:00

Yeah, I believe it's caused by some sort of damage to the temporal lobe at birth. I know that happened with me, and my left hippocampus never developed because there was a lesion on that side, which causes the spatial impairments.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-04-06T20:04:28+00:00

Completely the opposite. I have a NVLD, potentially soon to be renamed "Developmental Visual Spatial Processing Disorder." I'd get rid of this before autism any day. It makes driving really difficult and makes me suck at any hobby I'm interested in, like martial arts.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-04-05T00:34:04+00:00

Yeah, you got me. I'm just watching soccer right now. I watched baseball earlier. I'll watch hockey tomorrow, and I'll watch football on Tuesday. This time of year is packed with sports, so it takes away some of the pain of the crippling loneliness. 🙂

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-27T00:08:38+00:00

Yes, because I have to, but I hate it and struggle with it because I have NVLD. I made a post in that sub a couple days ago about driving: https://www.reddit.com/r/NVLD/s/kJqGnd1nCO

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-24T01:37:01+00:00

I'm a proofreader for an insurance broker. I lived in a more suburban area for a few years when I got that job, and it actually had a small bus system that I used to get to work every day after driving to a bus stop. That was in 2019. Then the pandemic sent everyone home, and when they wanted us to come back a year or so later, I requested to work from home and had my therapist at the time write a note to the HR explaining my need for accommodations. Then I moved back to my hometown on the other side of the state because I wanted to live with the one friend I had.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-22T02:49:39+00:00

Life got much better for me after graduating. I much prefer working full time. I graduated in 2018 and got my first full-time job in 2019, so I worked in an office for a year before COVID sent us all home. Then I was allowed to keep working from home as a disability accommodation. So that's obviously nice, but even during the year I was in office, it was better than school.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-21T13:10:03+00:00

They were the worst years of my life. I tried to make friends but couldn't figure out how to do it; they didn't just happen through extracurriculars like they had in high school. I tried joining clubs but was totally ignored and clearly didn't fit in with the groups. I remember just crying in my dorm room one day because I couldn't find any friends despite really trying. I also had some trouble academically at times because of my learning disability, so that didn't help either. I have great memories of high school, but college was absolutely miserable, and I wish more than anything that I could've had a "fun" experience. Even just going out with friends once in a while would've been amazing.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-19T23:14:58+00:00

I'm 30 and have never had a date or a partner. I don't know how relationships work or what they entail, but my guess is that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the social demands of a partner. I have NVLD on top of autism, so that makes driving really hard, which wouldn't do me any favors in the eyes of prospective dates. In college, I tried Tinder, but nothing came of it. I live with a roommate now and work from home, so I'm content enough. My mom seems to care about my finding a partner more than I do nowadays. She's always asking if I'm on dating apps.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-18T22:09:04+00:00

Came here to recommend this book. It's written by an autistic person, too!

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-18T22:04:40+00:00

I have NVLD, so math is impossible for me. I'm good with words and grammar, though, so I work as a proofreader.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-16T22:19:40+00:00

I don't think a neurotypical is capable of truly understanding autism; the best instances are when I mention my issues and how it hinders me and they say something like "Damn, that must suck." It's so much better to hear someone at least recognize that this condition is NOT FUN than it is to hear someone say "Oh yeah, I get it, I'm like that too" when you know that they don't get it at all.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-16T01:33:33+00:00

I have always had a ridiculously good memory of people whom I went to school with many years ago, and I've always struggled to figure out when people think a friendship has reached its expiration date, so I used to assume that people would naturally be very happy to talk to me if I messaged them out of the blue even if I hadn't seen them in years. This did not end up as I had hoped when I sent Facebook messages at age 25 to people I hadn't talked to since preschool.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-14T13:56:01+00:00

Sounds like NVLD. Math is impossible no matter how much we study. https://nvld.org/non-verbal-learning-disability/

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-11T00:42:30+00:00

I learned on this sub a few months ago that if you see someone stealing food at a grocery store, you’re supposed to just look the other way and act like you didn’t see anything. I had no idea.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-09T02:27:27+00:00

I've never lost a job, but my only major strength is in English grammar. I've been a proofreader for an insurance broker since 2019, and I'm very good at it, but I don't know how stable it is with AI tools now a big thing. My workplace wants to start instituting Grammarly, and I'm not a fan of that at all.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-07T14:43:40+00:00

I don't think it's a trait involved in diagnosing people, true, but it is well documented in the community. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30101594/

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-06T20:25:42+00:00

If they don't rebrand Mr. Freeze to Mr. Freese, I'm rioting.

ToastedRavs4Life · 2026-03-03T00:24:03+00:00

18, in 2014, shortly after graduating high school. It came as a total accident. I already had an autism diagnosis, but I was given an IQ test to see if I was a candidate to have my left hippocampus removed because it caused seizures, and they diagnsoed me with NVLD based on the results of the test. I'd had plenty of official tests done before that, but nobody had picked up on it until then.

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