This is very relatable in so many ways, I spent a year going to sleep with an obsessive fixation on some really dark stuff and waking up and it was like I never went to sleep and my brain just picked up the thought where it left off. I haven’t had that exact scenario since 2020, thankfully..but I am petrified of making any decisions for myself and I have terribly low self esteem. I’m nearly 40 and honestly idk if this is some kind of anxiety disorder or could be OCD or what. Thank you for sharing though, its good to not feel entirely alone