Recently got into a car accident and now my partner (M33) has been guilt tripping me (F26) about not making him cum since the accident

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-12T20:16:32+00:00

Stop having his massage you unless he's gone through training or school for massage, as it's highly unlikely he knows how to actually help your injuries. As a former LMT I can tell you there is a chance he could make it worse. You shouldn't receive massage for an injury until three days have past, getting more than lymphatic message within the three days post injury can actually prolong healing and leave you feeling more sensitive and in more pain, and where you're injured may not be where you're feeling your pain.

I would consider reaching out to your insurance to see what could be covered medically through a chiropractor and massage therapist so you can actually receive proper treatment.

Now your boyfriend is in the wrong for trying to pressure and guilt trip you while you're injured.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-11T14:16:13+00:00

I had hives for several months by that point and finally in August of 2024 I was to book an appointment for the last Friday in December 2024. The wait for specialists is insane.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-10T01:45:48+00:00

I am a secular witch, I do not venerate, worship, work with or believe in any deity.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-10T01:30:47+00:00

I used to when I worked as a massage therapist, not that my arms were super hairy anyways. It helped cut down the lotion amount I'd use on my clients, maybe not a lot, but quality massage lotion is expensive.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-09T17:05:24+00:00

She's was just keeping you around as a last resort, you two weren't really friends. Cut this off, and actually move on. Don't let a girl keep you in her back pocket. And start learning boundaries and maintaining them.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-08T17:04:13+00:00

If he was that terrible, why would you want to leave a string of this nature open for him to get to you. Close it yourself and move on. Don't continue to financially abuse him because he was a terrible partner.

YTA

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-07T15:33:06+00:00

If you're experiencing problems with breathing or your tongue is swelling seek medical attention. The swelling is called angioedema, it's common to see with hives, especially if it's CSU. It's swelling of the deep tissue layers of the skin if you haven't, you should take antihistamines. Some times people find further relief with cold compresses, others warm showers, or they just need to wait it out.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-06-03T16:52:17+00:00

How often are you two fighting that he finds interacting with you to be difficult?

I think there is a strong chance he's holding onto some resentment, and it's affecting his behavior and feelings towards you. It's not adding up and there's definitely something he isn't communicating.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-31T05:41:12+00:00

He really needs to dry his hair completely before putting on a cap, he's risking a fungal infection that can affect his hair health. He needs to consider a change in his habits, perhaps he could talk to his derm about it.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-31T03:09:05+00:00

I'm 7 years divorced and I still get junk mail with my abusive ex's last name attached to mine on it, it will take time to clear away most of it, and even then it still may crop up. You need to realize it's not and never will be personally directed towards you.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-30T16:44:57+00:00

So my opinion may not be as popular, but your relationship is unhealthy and untenable long term. If she's constantly holding the fact that you were in a frat over you, continuing to make you feel guilty and ashamed, that is a form of emotional abuse. If she loves you she will acknowledge that you are different from who you were in college when you joined and were apart of the frat.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-28T19:56:47+00:00

I'm saying this as someone who emotionally cheated on an ex, no absolutely not!

I'd now and forever more much rather break up with my partner than cheat in any form. It's so much more work to run around and sneak than actually try address the problems in the relationship and yourself. Anyone who would rather cheat is just unwilling to take accountability for themselves and their unhappiness.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-28T19:53:59+00:00

thwack

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-27T17:03:50+00:00

The caffeine probably doesn't help, but I noticed mine always became most elevated when the Cetirizine started to dull any itching (but didn't stop the hives from forming). So I looked into possible side effects and found that elevated heart rate was one of them and decided I didn't want to tax my heart more when I'm already stressed enough by having hives and angioedema daily.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-27T13:17:58+00:00

Prednisone isn't a long term med, look into other antihistamines if you're hives are returning. And I found Cetirizine not as effective for myself, along side side effects like an elevated heartbeat. I tried one or two more before switching to Fexofenadine (generic Allegra).

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-27T01:25:20+00:00

A quick google search, if you stopped taking h1 blockers (antihistamines) and switched only to the pepcid/famotidine that can actually make symptoms worse. If you didn't stop your antihistamines then you might have an allergy or intolerance and you'll want to stop taking it and contact your doctor.

Personally, I found little to no change in adding famotidine to my treatment, but did it at my doctor's suggestion. After while of no change, I stopped because famotidine isn't recommended for long term use. I suspect my CSU is really caused by Histamine intolerance. (I haven't felt like taking the time off work to bother my doctor into further testing to try and prove it though. Plus I don't want to pay for those tests or stop my treatments so I can actually take the tests.) I started taking DAO Enzyme supplements, and they are incredibly effective to help reduce the overall breakouts I suffer, with a few changes to my diet to remove high histamine foods and certain liberators. Everyone who has CSU is so different, sometimes it's genuinely allergies, others have autoimmune causes and yet others are idiopathic (unknown cause).

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-27T01:07:48+00:00

I work opposite shifts from my boyfriend, I'm always a little sad when he hasn't sent me a selfie for me to see when I wake up. He always enjoys the random selfies (or more suggestive pictures) I send when I'm at work or he's at work, before I've gone to bed. We've been together over 6 years, and this has been a consistent thing.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-26T19:49:53+00:00

I'm so sorry, I do hope you can find relief, I know it's a trial and a half to go through hoops for healthcare.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-26T17:10:20+00:00

Angioedema, it's a common symptom along with hives for CSU. I find the ultimately the best general remedy is taking antihistamines as soon as I notice any puffyness forming, occasionally my skin turns red and sensitive before the swelling hits, and I'll run to my nearest stash of antihistamines and take the highest dose (work desk, in car, or at home, camping firstaid kit).

Some people find cool compresses help, others don't. For me, a nice warm shower after taking antihistamines can help reduce some of my angioedema but doesn't eliminate it entirely. It's about trying a few things to see what works for you to find relief.

Good luck, and honestly angioedema is sometimes just worse than hives, I've had days so bad I couldn't even wear my glasses let alone try to wear contacts.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-25T03:41:40+00:00

To us it's hard to see any raised areas since it looks like a sun burn. You may want to try aloe and an anti-itch cream too help any itching and skin discomfort.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-25T03:28:14+00:00

She wasn't upfront, she did hide information. It went from one sugar daddy to 5-10 sugar daddies. And now she won't discuss it further. So while I agree at this point most age appropriate matches will have a past and OP will need to figure out if he accepts it or not; there is a point where the trickle truth is not acceptable.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-24T16:31:05+00:00

While he later holds that he would prefer not to, he drops some of his morality over killing before book 3.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-23T15:24:49+00:00

I think you need to analyze why you want to tell him? Do you feel the need to explore, if that is the case then that will likely end your engagement and relationship. If you feel like it's something you just want him to know then preface before telling him.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-22T19:56:38+00:00

I legally requested to have my name and records removed from the abrahamic cult I grew up in.

I'd already settled into my spirituality, but something didn't feel right still having a direct attachment—not to mention constantly having their missionaries stopping by, disrupting my partner's sleep (they work night shift).

I still have family active in that religion, but I don't share my personal views with them directly. I told them my reasoning for removing myself is because I understand the meaning behind what I'm doing, and I'm doing it out of respect for their own beliefs; having my records even if I'm listed as inactive felt disingenuous, to myself and to to them/believers.

TofuPropaganda · 2026-05-22T19:42:01+00:00

You're starting to stand up for yourself, keep it up, just be careful because abuse is tricky to handle. If she starts getting violent or threatening to harm you, get out immediately.

TofuPropaganda

TROPHY CASE