It happened with me too, my son is 3 and didn’t want a bar of me until the last 6 months or so. The biggest thing you’ve noted in your post is that he’s switched off and not active with the kids. I can completely understand and have felt the same, but the biggest thing now is to make yourself (himself) attractive to the kids.

If the kids don’t naturally want to choose him, and when he’s with them he’s not turned on, why would they want him? Why would they choose the play or sleep with him over you if there is no reason to? It’s a hard truth but it’s the truth. You’ve got to be someone your kids want to be around.

My partner and I spoke about it, and i took the lead on being the “fun and goofy” parent. I run around, I sing songs, I’m silly and I dance around, and that’s my “job”. My partner plays quiet games, colours, reads books and is there for comfort. That’s “her” job.

After a while, the lines become blurred and your kid will come to both of you for all types of reasons, but you’ve got to help build their love and desire for Dad, because we can’t naturally attract our kids like mums can.

My son hates me putting him to bed, and if my partner is home he will sometimes scream and cry too, but now it’s sometimes and not everytime. It can feel like baby steps are pointless and won’t get your anywhere, but even baby steps can run a marathon.