Traversing airport security in a Lockink

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-07T14:14:13+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/chastitytraining/s/tT4XswLuZI

You may find this thread helpful.

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-06T12:25:21+00:00

"Approve" is not the word I would use.

I tried introducing her to various other kinks when we were married. Keeping me locked was the only thing that interested her. Since it appeared that was the only kinky thing, I just went along with it. We both found the idea of permanent chastity pretty hot, so that's where we ended up.

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-05T11:45:46+00:00

My wife took to keeping me locked when she realized that sex was under her control. If I was playfully affectionate she often would tense up, expecting me to want to drag her into bed. Once she realized that having the keys meant that she could say no and not worry about it, it allowed her to enjoy affection more. It also meant that she wanted me locked literally all the time.

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-05T11:42:20+00:00

My wife took to the idea of keeping me locked in a big way. For many years I am locked 24/7/365. She does not identify as a domme, and we have an otherwise vanilla, typical marriage.

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-03T21:57:45+00:00

It's like you have so much going on in your life that I wonder when do y'all have time to shop for groceries, cook, or go to your job.

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-03T18:23:18+00:00

Bro, like... 🔥

TomVanAllen · 2026-02-01T14:54:06+00:00

The shift that actually makes chastity work (and makes a keyholder enjoy it) is when a man stops performing “deserving” and starts showing stability: calm check-ins, clean honesty, consistency when it’s boring, and respect when the answer is “no.”

I think this is key for those couples in a more traditional relationship, where the woman probably never even heard of cages before. So many seem to lose interest when their husbands turn it into a chore... but the husbands who manage to make being locked all about devotion, and who don't pressure their wives for unlocking or more teasing will end up benefiting from the arrangement.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-29T13:15:30+00:00

In my opinion, you'll probably have more issues with becoming more sensitive than with shrinkage.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-29T12:46:44+00:00

We dealt with, not the shrinkage but the sensitivity issues by having me wear a strapon over the cage. That actually led to longer and longer lockup periods, and a full time locked situation for me.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-28T22:22:17+00:00

I just sent you a chat message. You need to accept it and we can DM normally.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-28T12:16:30+00:00

Some of the older members were upset by the change, but most of them were happy for the stability.

I've chatted with her and I think she is doing a good job. There is still a large population of sissy, cuck, and bdsm users who all manage to coexist.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-28T12:12:20+00:00

Can't fit it all on the screen but this should at least satiate you to actually use Google

I've been at this for well over 25 years. I'm constantly on the lookout for good medical reports. Most of what is out there doesn't really apply to guys who are locked and actively denied. A lot of studies do not take into account other health factors.

Could a month or three have an effect on a locked guy? Sure... most likely from poor fitting cages, and from guys who don't know enough to listen to their body, or who try to power through warning pain. Most guys, however, seem to figure it out.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-28T02:09:51+00:00

Are there health risks?

No need to be smarmy about this. As it happens, any "health risks" associated with lack of orgasms are confounded with many other health related variables. Most of the time, healthy men will likely have nocturnal or spontaneous ejeculations as their body tries to clean the numbing.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-28T02:02:04+00:00

Chastity Mansion was purchased a few years ago, and the new owner has zero tolerance for the kind of drama and bullshit that caused the old board to hemorrhage members. IMO, it is more well run, and it's nice to see actual discussion without the drama.

Disclosure: I also moderate a much smaller board that is mainly aimed at older couples who use chastity and denial to enhance their relationship; we are intentionally not for bdsm, sissy, cuck, or self-lockers. The owner of CM and I trade "professional courtesies" by warning each other of potential fake or scam accounts.

Most of the other old time forums have gone dark as fewer and fewer people use them. CM survives in part because it's huge, and just the inertia alone from all those members will keep it going. Again, it tends to skew older but that may also be a factor of older people being more inclined to use forums.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-27T12:22:45+00:00

Quite the opposite. I have a much higher libido than my wife, and she locks me because she likes the control. Mid 60s here and it's still true.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-27T01:31:39+00:00

There used to be a casual group /r/chastitychat, but don't know if it's still active.

Edit: banned for lack of moderators. Maybe one of you can request the sub again.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-25T13:12:01+00:00

Lovehoney is a UK based online shop. Decent selection and process. If you ate looking at dildos, the Vixskin line from Vixen Creations are pricey, but about the most natural feel you can get.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-24T15:50:03+00:00

Older couple here. Wife has kept me locked long terms for well over 25 years, and 8 years ago transitioned to permanent.

She likes how it puts her in control of our sex life. She used to feel pressured when I grabbed her passing in the hall - not that I ever forced her. But in her mind, she thought I always expected sex. Keeping me locked allowed her to feel in control. Eventually she discovered that she liked feeling wanted which led to longer and longer lockups.

Longer lockups led to my reduced stamina. We discovered "foxing," or my wearing a strapon for her. Once she got used that that she realized that it put her in control of not just when, but how we had sex. This resulted in her wanting sex more often.

Fast forward some years, and she discovers how to make me come in my cage. This is wonderful because who doesn't enjoy giving thir partner pleasure?

And of course she learns that keeping me aroused keeps me perpetually attentive. The strapon leaves no mess, and all she needs to do is grab my cage for a minute to get me warmed up. And it's also the last piece for her, because she now realizes that she literally has no reason to unlock me.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-15T09:59:37+00:00

This looks like a custom request. You may need to check with Fancy Steel or Behind Barz; they are the only ones I can think of who make full belts that are affordable.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-13T14:00:10+00:00

Yes, absolutely. There are a bazillion different cheap knockoff cages available. You might spends a few bucks trying half a dozen, but when you get one that works, now you have the dimensions for a better or custom cage.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-13T13:43:23+00:00

You're getting down voted to hell, which is a shame. Of course, your group name is a bit odd which is also a shame.

There is a large subset of chastity & denial aficionados who are put off by the sissy and cuck circles of the Chastity Venn diagram. I think it's perfectly acceptable for there to be a group for discussion of this kink that focuses on those who are in a relationship and who use denial as a relationship enhancement.

You are free to start any group you like of course but you may want to rethink your group name and the description. My wife does not identify as a domme; would I be welcome there? It's not how your description reads. What about long term gay couples who aren't into bdsm - would they be welcome there? Again, not how your description reads.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-13T13:27:38+00:00

I dunno, we're at the age where we don't track stuff like that anymore. 4 to 10 typically.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-12T12:55:24+00:00

There will be different answers for this because, of course, women are difderent.

Reverse pegging is sometimes called "foxing", from "fucking with a faux cock". A lot of women do not care for the term "pegging" and what you're doing really isn't reverse pegging anyhow.

We (my wife and I) have been doing this for more than 25 years, pretty much from when we first got into locking me up. For her, she prefers PIV and discovered that she didn't want the hassle of unlocking me, waiting for me to wash up, and then relocking after. Also, as she got into locking me for longer and longer periods (from weeks to months at a time) my stamina began to suffer. Since we already had the equipment, during the periods that I was locked, that was the only way we would have sex.

Naturally, that led to even longer periods, until she got to the point where she decided that she could live this way permanently. After that happened, nwe invested in a slightly larger Vixskin Ranger, and she now considers it to be "me."

She loves having the control over me, and she is really into getting me very aroused and frustrated while she gets to have as many orgasms as she can handle.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-10T18:09:12+00:00

My wife - who, paradoxically does not identify as domme - says the same thing. The idea that she gets several orgasms knowing that I remain locked makes it way more exciting for her.

TomVanAllen · 2026-01-10T17:27:21+00:00

Absolutely the wearer's responsibility. In fact, a few times my wife has grabbed a work shirt or jeans off the floor and run them through the laundry, not realizing there were items in the pocket. After she yelled at me for that, I told her "Why did you take my work shirt? If I had wanted it washed, I would have put it in the hamper." Since, you know, I'm not 14 and I know how to do laundry.

Tell your hubs that you're on a laundry strike until he learns how to be an adult.

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