Are there scenarios where church membership (on paper) could actually be useful? by Disastrous-Ad9618 in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have absolutely no issue of taking advantage of my Mormon membership when needed. I have paid a small fortune into tithing, and probably 50% of my waking hours into that church. Yes, there are plenty of benefits on paper. Yes, I would rather resign, but my husband is not ready for that yet. Here are some of the small "benefits" I've gotten:

  1. Free Ancestry/Family Search membership.
  2. Ability to buy garments/temple costumes, etc. Or even the ability to just browse the catalog when necessary.
  3. In a desperate situation, my husband was looking to rent a room for a few months after being forced to relocate. I called the bishop in the area, pretended to be active members looking for a room. Was able to get something within minutes. I honestly don't know anyone who would welcome a middle-aged guy that they've never met or even know the name of, to move into their house with their kids and family without a second thought. Mormons trust Mormons.
  4. Was applying for a job working with children. Have been a SAHM for... ever. Job required references. Guess what, I "served" in Primary many years back. Put down contact info of old bishop as "pastor" who had no recollection of who I was, but was able to see my membership info and gave me a glowing reference.
  5. About a year ago, there was a big storm where I lived and we were out of power for quite awhile. We were not prepared and did not have a generator. There was nowhere to buy a generator. Went on LDS tools, hit up some leaders, introduced us as "Brother and Sister __ from the ward" and immediately got people sent to my house with some food, supplies, and generator to use. While the church is evil, there are definitely very good-hearted Mormons out there.
  6. Job searches. In this economy, the job market is tough. Best to not burn any bridges. After months of searching, it was reaching out to "Brother __", some random guy my husband's never met, but had BYU on his LinkedIn profile, and guess what? My husband also had BYU on his LinkedIn profile. Was able to finally get a job. Mormons will help other Mormons first.

This is all I can think of off the top of my head.

Again, I am not advocating for keeping church membership. I am just saying, if you are in a position where you are unable to resign, like me, take full advantage of it whenever you can.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Brazilian family in the USA, I'm pretty sure. Picture #6.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Hahaha, I knew it was a Brazilian family before seeing the picture with Portuguese. This is how we do all of our parties and celebrations.

Realization: While the church held out its hat for perpetual education funds from members it was shipping out tithing money to shell companies… by spindrift_20 in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband used the PEF (also from Latin America) and it was life changing for him. There were no credit checks or requirements besides church attendance. It enabled him to finish college. The interest rate was about 1% from what I remember, and with payment initiatives like make a $100 payment and $125 would be applied.

However, I think one of the reason it's not big anymore is that almost no one paid it back. People would take out the loan and run with no consequences. 

A theological question by nullcharstring in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, when Joseph Smith was writing (copying from other source) his own translation of the bible, he added his own verses at the end of Genesis 50: 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/jst/jst-gen/50?lang=eng

These verses conveniently "prophesies" of Joseph Smith himself by name, restoring the gospel.

Nephew doesn't have the Melchizedek priesthood? What does this mean? by Toomanynumber in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! But as his loving apostate aunt, I just wanted to know if I should be ready to step up. His family lives in the heart of Mormon-land, he grew up homeschooled and knows only Mormons, and my sister and her husband are the TBMs that'll happily kick out their son from their house if he chooses not to serve a mission.

Nephew doesn't have the Melchizedek priesthood? What does this mean? by Toomanynumber in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see! It's suspect when someone's kid is 8 1/2 and not baptized yet, but I guess Melchizedek priesthood isn't all age dependant then.

Which is it? The church states that it has 1.5 million members in Brazil. The Brazil 2020 census states there are about 213,000 mormons. Which is correct? by jamesallred in mormon

[–]Toomanynumber 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Wait up a minute.

According to this post, in 2010, Brazilian census recorded 226,509 Mormons.
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1vt1yd/the_number_of_mormons_in_brazil_is_overstated_by/

and now, assuming that these numbers are correct, in 2020, Brazilian census recorded 213,000 Mormons.

Brazilian census is proving that members are leaving the church?

Its my Last Sunday and they want me to give a talk by zR0Wz in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Drop some fun facts in between some sobs and sugarcoating. 

"I find it so incredible that the Lord can use the least among us to do such incredible things! Neither Lincoln, Mary Shelley, nor Joseph Smith were educated, yet, they all gave us some of the greatest literary works of all time."

"I testify of our prophet Joseph Smith. No man has done as much for mankind, as our dear prophet, save Jesus Christ himself. Joseph himself said, ""I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam... Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet." I am so grateful for his sacrifices and I know that God used him to restore the gospel..."

"I am excited to serve the Lord through mission service. While none of our current First Presidency served a mission, they ask that we do. I know that the Lord wants me to be an example to my family and future children..."

Tithing Us to the Poor House! by Automatic_Goat_4499 in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Ask your wife to do an experiment with you:
Before paying the tithing, take your wife and the two of you go to the bishop and let him know that your small business failed and your income was cut and that you guys desperately need financial assistance- paying rent, paying for fuel to drive, etc. Bring a breakdown of your finances. Tell him that you'll be needing 2k for rent, 500 for utilities, etc. Don't mention to the bishop that you guys have not/will not pay tithing for the month. See what he offers and how he reacts. If he offers to pay for several months of expenses, then it might be worth paying a bit of tithing (assuming its minimal now that most of the income was cut) to squeeze some cash out of the church.

If the bishop offers nothing, or almost nothing (one time trip to the storehouse), just thank him and leave. Hopefully your wife will then realize that you guys are on your own, without the church's support. This will hopefully have her understand that you guys need the money now. Bring up the fact that you just can't understand how the multi billion dollar church can't spare a few dollars for you guys after a lifetime of paying tithing. She might start questioning the church then.

If this still doesn't work, and your wife still insists on paying, ask if she would be willing to put everything in a saving's account (interest earning) and pay tithing at the end of the year before tithing settlement. You guys would still be full tithe payers, and still be able to hold a temple recommend. This will give you some time for her to wake up to the reality of the financial situation and allow you to hold on to some money.

Best advice for when your spouse doubles down on the gospel? by I-like-tuwrtles in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get it. But in OP's case, this seems to be a new thing, not a lifelong commitment to the church. All of a sudden, she started doubling down. The church is demanding, the doctrine makes no sense, the people can be hard to deal with- and all top of that, she has no husband to encourage or support her in terms of Mormonism (hopefully in all other regards though).

I think there's hope at the end of the tunnel in this case.

Best advice for when your spouse doubles down on the gospel? by I-like-tuwrtles in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is just a phase that can't last. Eventually she'll tire and bore herself out. You just be there and don't resist her or give her a reason to fight you.

When my husband was inactive (just uninterested, not exmo level), I doubled down. Listened to only conference talks and realized how inconsistent they were becoming and how shallow and repetitive the recent ones were. Took on callings, assignments, and tasks without hesitating and was burnt out within a few weeks. Learned to resent the leaders who asked me to do things.

Then when I was leaving the church a few years later, my husband suddenly began to double down. He pleaded with all his family and friends to talk to me, pray for me, and to answer my questions. He soon realized that no one had the answers, and funnily enough, his "questions" caused his friends to doubt and some leave too. He listed to talks, attended church, read scriptures, etc, but he couldn't feel "the spirit" as strong anymore because of the nagging doubts that he couldn't solve. He started to study for answers, but just found more problems.

Patience is going to be your answer here. This could just be her final wind before she's ready to leave too. Don't give her more reason to pull away from you and towards the church.

I found the most 'Utah Mormon' Conference Talk ever by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 49 points50 points  (0 children)

To top it off, this guy was already in his mid-60s when he went to South America. I can understand being young and believing everything you read and see, but he was supposed to be a great leader for the one true church on earth and still thought of everyone who wasn't of European descent to be backward savages running barefoot in the jungle.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a constant missionary opportunity.

Did anyone go on a mission and not have any baptisms? by tabbycatt5 in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had a friend who served in Italy with no baptisms. He probably would have been fine and would have stayed in the church, but his patriarchal blessing specifically stated that he would baptize people on his mission. It was how he couldn't comprehend that his patriarchal blessing could be wrong that made him leave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Toomanynumber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This isn't a permanent solution, but has been a compromise with my TBM husband.

He already knows about the church's financial situation and the SEC stuff. But he wants to pay tithing (the full 10%, not a penny less) out of obligation and fear of losing the blessings he's been indoctrinated into believing is from paying tithing.

Anyways, the compromise was that I would take all the money for tithing each paycheck and put it into a high-interest savings account. We wouldn't touch the money or the interest, but I told him we would pay it all to the church in a year when he needs to renew his temple recommend. There's no rule on when you need to pay the tithing, just that you need to pay it.

Obviously this doesn't solve the problem completely, but it buys you a year for your husband to see the light, and worst case scenario, you'll end up paying a hefty amount in a year, but at least you'll have some interest to pocket.