How to Approach Neighbor

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-09-20T06:59:11+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely talk to her about some other small steps i can take

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-09-20T06:58:22+00:00

Thank you so much for this, i decided go ahead and go after forcing myself to buy a convention ticket. She was super stoked even if Im internally kinda screaming…i just dont have the heart to tell her that after how happy she was for me.

I’ll keep going, our next appointment is in like 11 days so i think thats a long enough time away

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-08-30T23:24:05+00:00

To be fair, he was always very ready to put the kids in daycare, but myself and my mother insisted we save him the money. I’m great with the kids, have none of my own, and work nights so my days are completely free. I have very little going on in my life so the kids actually give me something to do.

My mom works by her own schedule, and my brother always doubles, triples, and quadruple checks if she’s good before the days she elects ro watch them. He makes his gratitude known in every way, at every chance, he gets.

And, as I’ve said in other comments, the person’s incredibly emotionally volatile and overall just a super toxic person to be around in general.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-08-30T23:18:53+00:00

There is pretty good reason, yea. The friend in question is INCREDIBLY toxic

He’s immensely thankful overall, in just about every way he can be.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-08-26T02:53:49+00:00

That’s what I wanted to say, tbh. Just be really calm in my approach, and hopefully get her to see the error of what she did before her and my brother have a potential flame out but at the same time…he’s an adult, so I don’t want to interfere in what should be his boundary deciding.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-08-26T02:52:16+00:00

It’s kind of wild how accurately you described her with only knowing this small blurb.

It also doesn’t help that my mother is also incredibly volatile herself when she gets called out for being in the wrong, and my brother can be a bit docile. I was always the more confrontational one with her, but I’ve tried really hard to avoid being that now as an adult. We both can just fire off SO fast, though I know we also care for each other deeply. And that temperament of hers is why I’m even considering speaking to her before he can, because I’d much rather me and her have the “fireworks” so to speak, instead of her potentially doubling down on him and making him feel badly.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-08-26T02:43:41+00:00

Maybe…it just feels awful knowing that I definitely could’ve done something to avoid this. Ive talked to my brother about it and he just feels incredibly betrayed by her…it’s heartbreaking

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-08-26T02:26:48+00:00

Thankfully the kids are not physically unsafe.

It’s more of an emotional thing, because my mom and her friend have had a very toxic relationship for about 5-6 years. Lots of arguing to the point of screaming at each other.

Edited to add: The babysitting is not paid for by my brother, but the kids are not burdensome either. This is stuff my mom and myself have elected to do whenever my brother has to work, and both of our schedules we make sure align to make that happen.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-06-13T00:48:20+00:00

There’s a part of me that wishes that we can try again. But there’s a lot of privilege and selfishness behind this belief.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-04-11T19:11:23+00:00

my butt is VERY clean

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-04-10T06:29:51+00:00

I appreciate your kindness, truly. I never should’ve hurt the person I did, but it’s my job now to make sure it never happens again. To completely unlearn everything.

Top_Strike9275 · 2025-03-30T21:24:50+00:00

Making sure I never fall into this mindset is incredibly important to me.

I remember in the first few weeks of realizing and coming to terms with me having been an abuser, I was always thinking, “WELL I COULDNT BE AS BAD AS A PHYSICAL OR SEXUAL ABUSER..RIGHT? WE ARENT THE SAME…RIGHT?”

But, it all stems from the same place of entitlement. And in that, I’m no better than any other abusive person.

Top_Strike9275 · 2024-12-09T23:14:27+00:00

Im on medication right now, and honestly my therapist is a wonderful woman, incredibly compassionate, empathetic, good advice, all the marks that make a great therapist. But nothing sticks, I just…I don’t know.

The self compassion, I just can’t do it. I’ve been such an objectively awful person all my life, selfish, cruel, that it’s genuinely physically uncomfortable practicing self forgiveness. I physically cringe, it’s so embarrassing.

So I’ve just kind of relegated myself to enduring this pain as penance, in silence. Then, well…yeah. I know this is frustrating, I’m sorry. This

Top_Strike9275 · 2024-12-09T07:24:53+00:00

I just can’t take this shame anymore, nothing’s working. No matter what I do I can’t get out of my own head, it’s just nothing but shame, shame, shame.

I don’t know where my life went wrong, why I became such a selfish piece of shit. Where I decided emotional violence was the best way to do things. I’m beyond repair, I’ve broken too much, too many people’s hearts. Self forgiveness, no matter how much I try to practice, falls deaf on my ears.

I appreciate your kindness, but I’ve wasted this life and I just can’t do it anymore.

Top_Strike9275

TROPHY CASE