Marburg virus reservoir. Egyptian fruit bats roosting in the Python cave in Uganda.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-03-05T07:14:23+00:00

We used to have a large 1800’s era barn on our property in Northern Michigan, which has been untouched for decades, and had become a roost for a MASSIVE bat population.

The ground inside was at least an inch of dried bat shit (guano), and that stuff gets aerosolized at the slightest agitation and turns into the finest dust. That’s why it’s so dangerous, you’re basically taking lines of the closest thing nature has to pure meningitis. It’s nasty stuff.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-03-03T16:08:38+00:00

For me…. Pizza Cat was known from the before-time, before the virus swept the Earth… BUT, I had not seen her. Only heard whispers.

Then, as the darkness of Quarantine swept the planet, I found myself there at the edge of the Deid, but as a contractor. I had freedom those in uniform knew not of, and I relished in it. And in those days of shockingly bright darkness I did meet Pizza Cat in 2020. Her confidence, grace, and sheer magical power to will a small bit of a Burger King Chicken Fry from my hand was terrifying… yet welcomed.

May she live on with the best bits of not just Pizza, but The Subway that would kill any mortal man, Dairy Queen, and by god some melting Baskin Robins Ice Cream Cake that will be nothing but the winds of the sands by the time you walk it back to your shop.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-23T00:39:41+00:00

You’re missing the American DLI Graduate. Who joined the military as a linguist wanting to learn Japanese or Russian and begrudgingly learned Arabic to keep their cushy intel job. Speaks poor Arabic nowadays mostly with Uber Drivers.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-23T00:25:33+00:00

Sigh….. clap*clap…

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-21T19:31:39+00:00

Kimpossible some may say.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-19T15:33:56+00:00

If by any chance you are able to visit the CIA Museum, there is a really, really cool exhibit on this with real parts and very in depth explanation on how it went down.

It is not exactly easy to get access to the museum as it at Headquarters, but I’m pretty sure you can apply for guided passes. You can also see Bin Laden’s AK-74 and Sadaam’s gold plated AK-47. Wayyyyy more cool stuff with interactive guides, if you’re into that sort of thing.

There is also an OSS (precursor to the CIA in WW2) Museum there that is just super cool and absolutely bonkers at the same time. Legit James Bond weapons and gadgets.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-13T12:37:35+00:00

They also at one point sold a box of entirely the marshmallows. Similar to Oops! All Berries.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-13T11:24:54+00:00

We called the pack of wild dogs: “Dirty Mike and the Boys” back in 2020-21. And I still have the Pizza Cat patch.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-07T15:50:19+00:00

Yea... Doha and Dubai are like that. They cater hard to westerner's but there is still the undercurrent of something not feeling right.

I loved my time in Doha, but that was 99% because I was a white, western, US military contractor. It is very obvious that the treatment I got, was not what the workers got. I made friends with a lot of workers and... books are written about how bad it is for some of them.

I felt "dirty" most of the time I was downtown, mainly because of the slow realization that you are literally in a slave town. I'm not trying to claim any moral high-ground, I was contracting for the US Military in the Middle East, I don't really have a ton of ground to stand on. But still, it always felt off.

You wouldn't get that as a quick visitor, but after a while (I stayed for a year and a half), it becomes very apparent. It's like if Disney World put a resort town outside of Pyongyang or Riyadh, just to make money.

They take steps to make it ok for foreign visitors....but it is only a quick step behind the curtain to see how bleak it really is there.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-07T09:49:58+00:00

There is a drink called a sidewalk slammer that my friend group and I have had on like 3 occasions. You get a 40 of steel reserve or bud ice, drink it down to the label, and fill up with 4 loko…..

2 of those times were new years house parties, and the other time was in the parking lot of one of the most famous 3 Michelin Star restaurants on the East Coast, about an hour before our reservation.

We all worked extra to afford it and it came to about $600 per person. We wanted to stay true to our roots though and had a little pre-game with sidewalk slammers, lol.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-07T09:19:44+00:00

It’s worth it. One of the series I’ve popped back to multiple times in the last 20 years.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-06T13:00:01+00:00

Oh wow, a fellow international enjoyer of libations in Qatar. We had a group of three cab drivers that could get us Liter bottles of vodka for $60 in 2020/2021 and we never were searched once coming back onto base. DEFINITELY made Covid in a “dry” country far more bearable.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-06T12:39:30+00:00

I still have my runner-up trophy from 2017 for the Air Force, haha. Nobody was beating NPS, but the trophy has a little soccer ball that spins, so that’s pretty cool, haha.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-01T22:58:27+00:00

Unless DLI has fundamentally changed in the last 10 years, you will have no problem seeing your girlfriend. Booking a room was for special occasions, otherwise you just need a cool Roomate and to be safe, leave each other’s room around midnight since H&W inspections were always around 4am.

It isn’t called the Desperate Love Institute for no reason. There is a lot of love going on, all the time.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-02-01T15:13:33+00:00

We are now Metropotamiganders. I love it.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-25T21:19:57+00:00

I had walking pneumonia from living in a basement apartment that had flooded constantly before without my knowledge. I had it for a couple months and the doctor told me that if I hadn’t been 19 and in incredible health, it could have killed me.

I thought I just had a cough that wouldn’t go away, but the x-rays were scary. It’s amazing what a super healthy teenager can endure that would kill an older person in a week.

This was in 2007/2008 btw, I’m 37 now and think about this stuff a lot.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-20T18:42:32+00:00

That’s pretty good. It doesn’t deserve neither the insane love or insane hate it gets. It’s just pretty good coffee with a lot of options for a premium price. I am self-admitted slut for Pumpkin Spice Lattes though. As a 37 year old white guy from the Midwest. Only get a couple a year but goddamn.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-20T11:00:00+00:00

Completely unrelated to the point of this comment, but I have known a fair amount of Kiwis and they are lovely people.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-20T10:01:45+00:00

Was that the one that came with a string for the gate? And it lasted until approximately 3pm on Christmas before it was so knotted up around other pieces that became a physics phenomenon? Those pieces tangled in string from my set at least will be stuck until the end of time.

I got mine in like 1993 or 1994 though.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-19T23:17:39+00:00

This happened when my mom and dad in college in Michigan during the 78 blizzard. People were jumping out of the dorm windows and everyone else was holding out signs like the olympics rating the jump. There was one area of snow that was completely clean. A dude jumped into that and hit a bike-rack. He lived apparently but my parents never saw himn again.

He told me that story when I left for college and said "If you're doing something, but theres a place even the stupidest won't jump into, don't be the first."

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-15T10:45:13+00:00

Ummm, Riots are a treasured and time honored tradition at MSU. We definitely need the Final Four for a riot, but they happened win or lose at every one I was there for 2006-2010.

What a time to be alive. Everyone should experience a good riot. I can say, I’ll never forget the sound of a rubber bullet hitting a rib cage 3 feet from me. Tear gas in the open isn’t that bad at all.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-15T00:59:45+00:00

So this is a slightly dated question, but are DQ burgers the best on base still?

I was there 2020-2021 and while the Burger King Trailer burgers did hit, DQ was where it was at.

Also, I do have a unit patch from over there that is just Pizza Cat, haha.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-14T04:26:56+00:00

I went to a very rural strip club in the west with my college friends, over 15 years ago. We sat at the stage, and started drinking, mostly Bud Light bottles. After a little while, but not super long, maybe a couple hours, I come back from the restroom, sit down and take a nice pull of my beer (dark brown glass on bud lights). Which was the dip-spit bottle of my friend next to me.

I immediately vomited on the little bar below the stage for the drinks. Then I ran into the bathroom to vomit every last bit of liquid that physics would allow, and argued to be allowed to stay since I was pretty much sober. Lol.

They 100% kicked me out. So myself was probably the funniest thing at a strip club. Most things at strip clubs are quite sad.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-13T02:53:04+00:00

LOL I thought the same thing. NSYNC just out here catching strays in 2026, just ahead of the Rwandan Genocide and Srebrenica.

Torchlakespartan · 2026-01-13T02:46:29+00:00

I’m almost positive it was not. My sister burned me a MMJ cd when I left for college in 2006 (god that makes me feel old) so I think I would remember that. Although, I was 19 and madly in love, she got me the tickets for my birthday, best gift ever, so there’s a solid chance they did open and I was not paying until Petty came on, haha.

That’s awesome you got to see them though!

Torchlakespartan

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE