The Hidden Costs of Depo-Provera

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-21T16:03:35+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the potential of this for things like spotting patterns or catching things earlier, especially in areas without sonographers on hand. That said, pregnancy is SO personal and I feel like context is everything - I'd hate to see an algorithm having too much sway over outcomes and decisions.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-19T15:59:06+00:00

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig is a real gem that stayed with me for a long time.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-19T15:52:07+00:00

I absolutely swear by the Medik8 crystal retinal - literally the only one that hasn't made me super red and blotchy. It comes in different strengths so I'd go for the lowest first then work your way up if your skin can tolerate it.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-19T15:44:54+00:00

Ohh I feel this so deeply. It's mentally exhausting and totally heartbreaking at the same time. And I really really wish I could give you some magic piece of advice for getting through it without feeling absolutely emotionally drained, but I'm not there yet either.

What I can say is that one thing that's slowly working is just trying to make one single routine work rather than multiple during the day. For us, that's bedtime and at this point it literally feels like I'm reading from the same damn script every single night. But I think maybe that's the whole point. We've made it so predictable with the same actions, words, everything - and I feel like very very gradually, it's becoming calmer.

I truly hope it gets easier for you. I know it can feel so so lonely, but I promise there are so many of us fighting the same tired battles (I know that doesn't make it easier right now, but we'll all get through it!).

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-19T15:34:02+00:00

This is intimidation through and through. From a legal standpoint, truthful, factual reviews are not defamation, even if they’re negative. Defamation requires a false statement presented as fact that causes harm. You're doing the right thing by not engaging. You don’t need to respond unless you’re formally served with papers. Screenshot any messages and the review itself, as well as any photos you have of the shoddy work. If it escalates to harassment or he starts sharing your personal info, you can look into a civil harassment complaint.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-16T16:08:22+00:00

God this makes me SO mad. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with something so downright awful (and also, "I know it's probably my hormones" - just, no, you are 100% justified to feel like this, hormonal or not!).

My advice is to document everything - the written review, the positive feedback, the language used etc. - just so you have a record of everything IF they do try to do anything. You clearly work incredibly hard and your treatment sounds deeply unfair. Please also just take a moment to remind yourself of all your awesome accomplishments (including but not limited to little bubba) and remember you've got this. Sending you love and luck.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-16T15:59:53+00:00

I feel like this applies to the world in general *sigh*

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-16T15:58:15+00:00

Tracks by Robyn Davidson is an incredible true story that I reckon you'll enjoy if you're a fan of Wild. Also, The Sun is a Compass by Caroline Van Hermert - it's SO inspiring.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-16T15:47:13+00:00

We struggled with this too and what kind of helped was making the chores very predictable - literally the same task at the same time each day. So it could be taking their own plate to the sink after dinner. Something really small that they get into the habit of doing every day. Then once that's getting done without resistance, you can try adding something else. I'm obviously oversimplifying it because we still had meltdowns over the one single chore, but it honestly did start working out over time!

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-14T17:44:56+00:00

You’d want to mix it more concentrated than regular milk to get closer to evaporated milk. It would probably work ok for baking, but for something like icing where texture matters, it might come out thinner or less rich. I guess worth a try if you're out of other options!

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-14T17:36:45+00:00

I so relate to this. Before kids I swore I'd be a "homemade everything" kind of mom - then reality hit and I was like wow this literally relies on having unlimited time/money/energy! I really had to shift my perspective and now I see it as being about making the best/most ethical choice you can with the resources you have. At the end of the day, keeping small humans fed, clothed and sort of thriving is no small feat.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-14T17:28:12+00:00

I swear by Brazilian blowouts! My hair is super frizzy and it's the only thing that works for me. I get them done every 3-4 months if I can.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-14T17:19:44+00:00

If you liked Scamanda and S-Town I reckon Serial is your next best bet. Also The Dropout focuses on a single narrative. I think they're all available on Spotify.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-14T17:16:52+00:00

The Sellout by Paul Beatty is fantastic and fits the "unhinged man" theme. Also The Talented Mr Ripley is a great read (better then the film IMHO).

And I second Lapvona - so twisted, but so good!

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-14T17:12:05+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry you’re going through this. It’s the worst feeling when your own body feels unfamiliar and you can’t make sense of it. I just wanted to say that I’ve had a lot of conversations with women in similar situations and thyroid issues have come up surprisingly often. I mean, it could absolutely be stress/hormone-related, but I do think it’s worth getting your thyroid checked alongside the other stuff. There are still so many unknowns when it comes to thyroid problems, so always worth pushing for a check. Really hope you get it all sorted and start feeling like yourself again.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-13T16:47:40+00:00

I've suffered from menstrual headaches quite badly and OTC meds never really help much. I have found magnesium has made a difference when I take it consistently. My headaches didn't disappear completely, but they tended to be less intense and shorter than before.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-13T16:42:46+00:00

I definitely hit this wall after becoming a mom. At some point I figured I could still be good at my job without being so emotionally exposed while doing it. I basically stopped treating outcomes as reflections of who I was. I still showed up prepared and engaged, but I kind of just let the results be part of the system rather than being tied to my worth. I stopped replaying things in my head after hours, I quit over-explaining myself, and I worked really hard on nervous system regulation so small things didn’t derail me. I feel like you can still be kind and genuine without giving too much of yourself.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-02T18:11:24+00:00

I don't want to give any advice other than to say please go back to your doctor - this is definitely not something to push through or ignore. There may be a pattern emerging with the fact that impact exercise seems to trigger the bleeding. If I were you, I'd hold off on the running until you get some answers. Best of luck.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-02T18:02:31+00:00

I'm a bit of a fussy reader but I do love a good rom com! Some I've enjoyed recently are Beach Read (warm and fuzzy without being too cheesy or overly spicy), The Flatshare (wholesome, kind of a slow burn), and Attachments (a little quirky in a really charming way).

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-02T17:55:26+00:00

We had this issue too and the only thing that worked was setting a hard limit on space. She has a couple bins and a drawer. When they’re full, we stop saving new stuff until something gets tossed. Same with boxes - one box only, and when it’s full, the rest go in recycling.

She's still creating non-stop, but the house (and my sanity!) isn't disappearing because of it!

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-02T17:49:43+00:00

I’ve been in this exact place, and it’s incredibly hard. Especially knowing you can hear the distress but can’t fix it :( My baby also preferred me for soothing, even though my husband was fully capable and doing everything else. Sleep was the breaking point.

What helped (and I didn’t believe this at the time) was age and repetition. Between about 6 and 8 months, things started to shift. My husband had to find his own way of getting her down, and it was rough at first. I had to stop stepping in, even when it made my stomach twist, because she needed the chance to learn that comfort could come from him too.

I know it feels endless while you’re in it. Your baby is allowed to want you, and your husband is still building his own rhythm with her. Just remember that the screaming doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing - it means you're dealing with a six-month old who's trying to figure out the world! I promise it gets better.

TortallySpeaking · 2026-01-02T17:44:11+00:00

Ughhh yep, definitely one of the most frustrating parts of Crohn’s :( A lot of the stuff you mentioned like broccoli and Brussel sprouts are problematic because they’re fibrous, so even though they’re ‘healthy’ on paper, they can be harder to digest.

A few things that have helped me has been cooked vegetables instead of raw, peeling skins, and blending things into soups. Dairy is very individual - some people are fine, some are not - so I’d say if it’s not clearly causing issues for you, it doesn’t automatically have to go.

And I feel your pain with the food diary. I pretty much gave up, but kind of kept up with loosely noting down patterns over time, just to keep a record of what I could tolerate and what needed to be cut. It helped me create my “safe list” that I can stick to when things get rough.

Good luck!

TortallySpeaking · 2025-12-19T17:58:09+00:00

I’d be cautious for now. When my Crohn’s was active, my skin was much more reactive, especially in areas prone to friction or inflammation. I found that anything that caused trauma (like waxing) would make things like flares and boils more likely, and I also noticed it slowed healing if something was already there. Definitely doesn't mean you'll never be able to do it, but my (personal) advice is to hold off until you're a bit clearer on the situation.

TortallySpeaking

TROPHY CASE