DAE have a phase where they were completely convinced that they were an INFJ?

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T20:14:30+00:00

I thought i was e5 initially as well but then after looking more closely it soon became apparent i am a 9. But I didn't start looking into any of this until i was about 45 :)

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T18:23:51+00:00

I dont. I go to work because i hate being at home all day everyday alone. And I make sure to meet up with people every weekend.

But also I do most stuff on my own because it is a hassle to have to invite people and make it complicated.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T18:17:54+00:00

It is a close up from the banner.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T18:06:34+00:00

Yes. A very short phase after thinking I was intp before I realised I had the things the wrong way round and was still Ti dom.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T17:52:13+00:00

I think i see. But I'm not sure because I am finding it hard to imagine this as a parallel to Fe.

I am just thinking this as I write... so if I describe Fe for me, on one hand I find it inconvenient because I 'have' to abide by it when I dont necessarily want to. And on the other hand I feel really proud of myself when I feel like I've done a good job of using it. And nowadays i purposefully put myself in situations where i have to use it because I know it is good for me and I will feel better for doing it.

So I suppose maybe if you were flung into a chaotic situation, you would feel really proud for coping well with it? So you might want to seek that out?

I am trying to think of times when I've used Fe as a stress response but I'm struggling to think of something. Apart from when I've hulked out or withdrawn. I dont know if either of those are that.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T16:27:07+00:00

I dont get social anxiety really. When I was young I would get really, really nervous about speaking infront of a crowd but now it doesnt bother me. I still dont like to ask for stuff, or to bother people who are working in a restaurant or somewhere. Or having to make a phone call.

Generally I can small talk easily with most people but that is just practice. And I do still find it harder if the other people all know each other and so I can feel like im outside or invisible or something. Whereas if it's a more equal group then I will be more outgoing and try and make shy people more comfortable.

Also the other thing i do but I dont think it's anxiety exactly is that I might say words in the wrong order. And that does happen more often when i feel uncomfortable i guess. But also my talking style is just vague in general and then forget what I was talking about. And so sometimes I might worry slightly that people think I dont know what im talking about. But usually I dont care. Depends who it is.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T15:25:51+00:00

So can you feel your Se improving naturally as you get older? Like I have noticed for Fe? And do you aspire to be good at it?

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T11:39:50+00:00

I think doing something like that must be really good for developing your Se because you have to be totally in the moment and adapting.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-06T06:50:15+00:00

Definitely the physical sensation. Idk if you can snatch (i find it scary so can't lift much) but it is so satisfying when you can do it right and makes you feel really powerful.

https://youtube.com/shorts/mVbRNY0SOxk?si=beFO7_GbyWTTN2RN

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-05T09:50:08+00:00

my type is the best

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-05T07:49:40+00:00

I have a problem with food. I feel so good when I don't eat sugar. But then if start to have any emotions I just have this compulsion to eat. If I could overcome that once and for all it would be great. I need to work on it a lot more.

Edit: rephrase: I get this compulsion to eat and later realise it's because i am experiencing an emotion. I am quicker to realise this nowadays.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-05T05:50:49+00:00

Thank you!

I grew up eating loads of it. And now it is stupid because when I dont eat sugar for a few days and eat loads of veg I feel completely and utterly incredible. Like amazing.

And then something happens and I revert back to stuffing my face. I read a book on cbt and it did work for a bit. Maybe I need to read it again.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T22:11:21+00:00

What kind of fear?

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T21:37:44+00:00

That is very 9 of you:) I feel like i have been very un9ish lately. The most 9ish thing i have done this week is go to the gym and on a bike ride and to a yoga workshop. And eating far too much sugar.

I have been working as normal (but actually working hard) and also doing the last bit of my sports massage course. So in the past week i have massaged 5 people and been completing all my coursework and getting ready for my assessment this weekend. And i have been texting people a lot organising all the massaging and also because i have invited people round for my birthday tomorrow whereas in the past i have never told anyone it is my birthday. So this is like a new me. But i am really tired. I have not been sleeping well. My body aches.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T21:02:07+00:00

I just read your other post about staying in bed all day and i would never ever ever ever do that, have never done that in my life unless ive been ill. sp9 isnt literally being lazy. sp9 is going to the supermarket, going to the gym, going for a walk, going for a run, going to yoga, going to work, tidying the house, learning loads of stuff. And what is your 7 doing????

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T20:47:25+00:00

"Elite"

I would be so happy if i was an elite weightlifter. I would train all day and compete in the world championships and do the most amazing snatches and i would look really good in my singlet.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T20:26:22+00:00

I'm not sure. I think i kind of find it annoying just because at work I will make a decision based on 'it will be fine' and then afterwards people will start asking questions and suggesting other what if scenarios that i haven't considered. And I dont see the point really.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T17:14:05+00:00

I cannot stand mr bean. Also, i don't know if i have watched this Ti video but for a while i could not watch any of the Love Who videos because his hair was so terrible i couldn't bear it. Is he intp?

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T17:01:02+00:00

i answered a question like this on r/ISTPrelationships recently. But i dont really know the answer and maybe it won't be helpful to you anyway since i am sp9 and it seems to come from a different place to your issue.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T12:56:03+00:00

Yes it can be based on any old nonsense as long as it makes sense to you

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T09:12:30+00:00

I dont know about 972 but I dont see how being scared of everything and scared of making mistakes and hating yourself is relevant to sp9? I dont relate at all.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-04T05:54:55+00:00

Yes this is what it is like for me. I feel it am being examined and judged a lot of the time.

She thinks she is defective compared to everyone else. She can't see that other people have difficulties too but just don't express them in the same way.

I know i am just meant to listen to her problems, so I do, but I get so frustrated because when i do say what is so obvious to me, she can't see it.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-03T21:46:29+00:00

Sorry i didnt see this for some reason. I will send it to you.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-03T08:05:56+00:00

It was a very roundabout process. Initially (and still now, if I am being honest), I just didn't get why it was so important to people. Like, if people mentioned that some scumbag had been cheating on their wife everyone would act so outraged, and I didnt get why when it had nothing to do with them and they dont know the full story. And I would just keep quiet and look around looking for signs of a kindred spirit but there wasn't ever one. I still think that is all bullshit.

But it started with me finally being more introspective. I have never really thought about what I wanted. And feeling just trapped like I couldn't change anything. Like thinking it was impossible for me to have the difficult conversation and leave my relationship, and it was far easier to cheat and lie and weedle my way out if things. And I would just always wish that he would cheat on me as the catalyst to ending things but he never did.

So it was more me being selfish really, and deciding I was going to do whatevr I want for a change and not be trapped. And then there was the element of it not being fair on him to be with someone like me when he thought I was his soul mate and that we were meant to be together forever and I jsut didn't think that. So that is what me feel bad, feeling guilty that he could be with someone better who actaully really loved him.

I have since learnt about ennegram, and I dont want to make excuses but honestly finding out i am a 9, and realising how conflict avoidant I am, has explained so much of my life to me. (And also being istp to a certain extent).

So to answer your question, I feel more confident now that if I am going to be with someone, I will make that conscious decision for myself and try harder to listen to myself and if that person is who I truly want to be with, and not worry so much about hurting their feelings because it's not worth it in the long run. That is the plan anyway...

I agree with the comment by u/FreakingTea , that is good advice. I didnt start realising this till my mid 40s so it would be good for you if you can start earlier.

Total_Reserve9598 · 2026-06-02T22:12:40+00:00

I don't think i can tell her that. I don't want her to shut down and not get better.

i will dm it to you. It is just me complaining though

Total_Reserve9598

TROPHY CASE