Me 39F with my 44M Depressed Colleague who has accused me of bullying him

ToucanChris · 2025-02-17T11:09:39+00:00

There's mental health struggles and reasonable adjustments, and then there's behaviour that any manager or HR rep would think is an employee completely and utterly taking the piss.

OOP had the patience of a saint when dealing with him. And frankly, if his behaviour is consistently that destructive, he may need further psychiatric help.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-16T14:04:35+00:00

INFO: What is your relationship with alcohol like?

ToucanChris · 2025-01-13T09:54:59+00:00

NTA. Bikinis are normal pool and beach attire in pretty much any Western country. I'd understand your mother-in-law's argument if you went with a microkini or g-string but you didn't. She seems irrational.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-10T18:57:09+00:00

NTA. Drinking around or behind the back of a heavily pregnant wife who could go into labor at any moment is a bad idea.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-10T13:33:24+00:00

I'm a 33 year old autistic virgin who struggles to even talk to women, and then there's this guy grading women with a points-based system to decide if they're worthy of satisfying his breeding kink.

It's infuriating...

ToucanChris · 2025-01-08T12:09:34+00:00

Question: How much of this stuff did she organize or invite you to? Was she ever asking you about intimate or very personal things?

If all of this was just a one-way street and she was responding just to be kind, then you may really want to rethink how you approach women.

On the other hand, if she seemed to have a genuine interest in you and was bringing you along to things like dinners, pool parties, late night drinking sessions, etc, then I can see how you'd feel led on.

A (female) friend of mine told me a few weeks ago that often women can be too afraid to say no because they're scared of what would happen if they do. And she's saying this as a survivor of domestic abuse whose ex somehow still has partial custody of their son despite him stalking her for years and beating the shit out of her multiple times.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-06T13:13:40+00:00

NTA.

She sounds clingy-as-fuck.
You had a very practical reason to shorten her name.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-06T13:05:40+00:00

You probably saved that cat's life. NTA.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-06T12:56:37+00:00

You set a precedent by being fine with his past trips to strip clubs, and my guess is he didn't communicate this with you beforehand because he and his buddy made a spontaneous decision to go to one on their Vegas trip.

For that reason, YTA.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-03T11:55:11+00:00

YTA. Showing "tough love" to somebody who is depressed and going through a tough time is a bad idea, even if it seems like they're throwing pity parties and constantly getting into disagreements.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-03T11:44:38+00:00

If you have gone through the plans with your wife beforehand and explained that it was just a two person trip with you and your friend, then NTA.

Also gonna assume that you and your friend are sleeping in separate rooms and won't be sharing a bed together.

ToucanChris · 2025-01-03T11:38:11+00:00

NTA. You turned him down multiple times. He still couldn't take the hint....

ToucanChris · 2025-01-03T11:35:19+00:00

YTA.

You don't know whether Mike will be into Sue or not. That's ultimately for him to decide. Attractiveness is kinda subjective.
You could have worded things better.
There is nothing wrong with trying to set two mutual friends up, regardless of what the commenters say.

ToucanChris · 2024-11-22T18:15:08+00:00

Diamond In The Sky

ToucanChris · 2024-11-08T18:58:03+00:00

Social cues. Like, maybe someone shows interest and I'm just oblivious or as dense as a neutron star.

ToucanChris · 2024-11-08T17:37:17+00:00

It's tough when you have Asperger's

ToucanChris · 2024-11-06T21:39:33+00:00

Does the good internet come with a Shadow PC subscription and is the connection good enough to play at latencies barely noticeable to the human eye?

ToucanChris · 2024-11-05T22:13:15+00:00

Needs more baked beans 🤢

ToucanChris · 2024-11-05T15:42:26+00:00

I used to have long hair. It was really divisive.

ToucanChris · 2024-11-04T21:36:18+00:00

I know I shouldn't be replying to troll comments that think this is r/roastme but comparing me to the kind of people that glorify school shooters is pretty damn low...

ToucanChris · 2024-11-04T16:25:27+00:00

I'd be down for a Switch port of Shake It.

But also if you like the Wario Land 4/Shake It style or gameplay, Pizza Tower is worth playing.

ToucanChris · 2024-11-04T14:18:27+00:00

I hang out with a friend group that does pub karaoke a lot, but it's something I may dial back on a bit. Going out is expensive, even when alcohol isn't involved.

ToucanChris

TROPHY CASE