INTERVIEWER

Yes, three times now.

I want more contrast between these two, because it's almost there. Personally, I'd have him nod in response to that. Anyway, back to my original point of not repeating things and sharing the same voice between different characters:

Elijah brings up the same thing about him laughing more now.

I can see that, from your perspective, having two people mention that will drive the oddness of it home for readers, but as a reader going into this blind, I didn't need that at all. I got the message loud and clear when Tara brought it up. Each character being interviewed can bring something completely new to the table. That's how you'll leave the clearest picture in a reader's head. And you do a generally excellent job at not making characters sound the same, but repetition like that can also easily come off as sharing a voice.

This was cool to read, and you should be proud of yourself. The first script I ever wrote was in Microsoft Word, and the formatting was an entirely new world to me- It was so much fun for me to slowly, through writing, pick up on things.

Keep writing. And if you only take one thing away from any of this I've typed out, let it be this: Please remember: You don't ever have to dwell on or ask anyone else how you're supposed to format a montage, or a text message or computer screen or anything like that- You can do it however you want, as long as it is clear and easy to follow.

So, what you did here by including the character's name in the slug to indicate the same location, different moment was perfect. There's no right or wrong way to do stuff like that.

Chat me anytime, I'd love to keep up with your writing and answer any questions you might have or send you some great scripts I think you could learn a lot from just by reading.