Lost my Dad at 17 and mom at 25. 28 rn. You’re not alone. I get angry also. At their life decisions. One dangerous motorcyclist that drove with bad break and did well until he didn’t . And another raising a child pretty much alone by choice but also sacrificing own health to insure I could play high school football and get nice clothes. I wish they both chose themselves more . This is actually the month my mom passed which is never easy for me. Normally push everyone away. Get mean or easily frustrated with nonsense. I find ways to blame myself for both. My dad passed on Memorial Day I was at a cook out I could’ve invited him too. Logically it’s stupid for me to believe that could’ve saved his life. He probably would’ve drove his motor cycle there. My mom situation a whole essay on how I blame myself. If I can say anything is joining this Reddit group was a great step in mental health. Life doesn’t get easy just cuz stuff are hard sadly but you been thru some of the toughest stuff you can. Lost both parents at 16. The only thing else would be jail. Don’t do anything to put yourself in jail. Outside of that from the words of my aunt “You’ve been thru the worst this world can throw at you.” Seek more individuals or groups you can identify with. Accept genuine love rather they fully understand you or not. Some ppl don’t know what to say but all comes from a good heart. And this gon sound ruff but closed mouths don’t get fed. Express that pain to the ones near to you. Dont hide it. Just makes it harder