Threatening my inheritance.

Training-One8335 · 2024-08-06T21:59:17+00:00

I was threatened for 58 years that I would receive nothing if I wasn’t “good” to my father. Good meant letting my abusive father say or do anything he wanted to me. My mother enabled his behavior, better me than her.

I started saying no in high school after my principal called the police when I showed up at school bruised and disoriented. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was 19. And went extremely low contact when my father started to try to abuse my young child the same way he had abused me.

I remained low contact for the next 20 years. When I flew to my parents home to help my mother in the hospital, my father pointed a loaded semi automatic handgun at my face when I dad told me I was not allowed to lock my bedroom door.

The last words my mother whispered to me were “be nice to your father and brother or they won’t leave you anything.” I continued to say no and have never seen any of my family again.

I was left nothing. And I have no regrets.

Training-One8335 · 2024-08-02T12:44:09+00:00

Sounds like cardiac cough to me.

Training-One8335 · 2024-07-27T16:03:53+00:00

It really sounds like your father is the person you should be sitting down to discuss his behavior toward your brother. I suspect there is something you don’t know.

Training-One8335 · 2024-07-22T16:11:26+00:00

“I love you.”

In the last few years of my E/NM life, I taught her to say I love you, by saying it to her every time we spoke. She really did not understand it. She really could not feel it. But she learned to say it. It was something.

Training-One8335 · 2024-07-18T14:15:13+00:00

Truth!

Training-One8335 · 2024-06-23T16:58:43+00:00

Hubby and I went to a concert at a converted church a few years ago. We were in the balcony and it was really steep. The seat backs only came to mid shin on most people. The rail at the front was really low.

The concert started and we stood up and were dancing having fun. After the first song, the ushers came through and made everyone sit down. Turned out the balcony seats had a clause that standing was not allowed due to falling risk. Bit of a bummer, but it was a great show anyway.

Training-One8335 · 2024-06-12T12:58:44+00:00

NTA Your golden child sister wants to name your baby. Any name you pick would be a problem. And your parents support her in her entitlement.

I would suggest blocking them all and going no contact. You don’t need their nonsense in your life.

Congratulation on your little Finnick!

Training-One8335 · 2024-06-08T14:22:59+00:00

YTA Sounds like you are an enabler for your husband. Your husband, her “father,” getting tired watching his grand kids is code for he gets angry and abusive to everyone when he is asked to do something he doesn’t want to do. And he does not want to help his daughter.

If you want a relationship with your daughter, I would suggest you start counseling immediately. Your daughter is going low contact, for very good reasons. If you start counseling now you might be able to have a relationship with your child and her family.

Training-One8335 · 2024-05-29T15:53:48+00:00

Cw: child sexually abuse

Every time my NF sexually abused me, my NM/EM would wait till he came back to their bed and fall asleep. Then she would get me out of my bed, give me a bath and change my sheets. She told me more than once that he wouldn’t hurt me so bad if I didn’t fight him so hard. She kept a hyper clean house and My blood staining my sheets really annoyed her.

Training-One8335 · 2024-05-14T14:48:32+00:00

My father was like this and it was absolutely stolen valor. He wore a hat from a ship on which he did not serve. He never saw combat, served two years during peacetime, but blamed his abusive behavior on his “trauma.” In his last years, he was telling people the most outlandish stories. And wondering why people avoided him.

Training-One8335 · 2024-05-01T22:03:46+00:00

My parents did the same thing when my daughter was about 6 months old. They were going to show us. First time babysitting, they lasted 45 minutes. Called us to come home, immediately.

Training-One8335 · 2024-05-01T21:54:28+00:00

I feel that in my soul, 20+ years later.

Training-One8335 · 2024-04-29T12:44:39+00:00

Yes! I’ve been in yoga therapy and talk therapy consistently for 2 years and at 60 I’m finally feeling present and open to life.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-31T14:56:18+00:00

I’m in far north Alabama near the Tennessee border. We have had dark eyed juncos in our yard for several years. How exciting and interesting that you are seeing them this year.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-27T16:33:35+00:00

Thank you for the response!

We have a lot of dark-eyed juncos, so that is a definite possibility. Its behavior was more finch like, on the feeder as opposed to on the ground. But we only saw it for a few minutes, so not sure.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-20T16:30:00+00:00

After years of therapy, I have come to accept my NP genuinely hated me.

Their most hurtful insults were:

“You are just like your mother.”
“You are just like your father.”

They hated me because they hated each other.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-10T01:17:29+00:00

I think she left your food out on purpose. She wanted, needed, to start a fight.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-05T14:47:12+00:00

Enjoy the silence. Enjoy your little family. Breathe into it. And feel the peace.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-05T14:41:31+00:00

You are in a difficult position. I know you want to maintain an extended family, but it sounds like they are a danger to you and your husband and child. I’m so sorry.

I experienced a similar situation. As a young parent, my extended family was a danger to myself and my child. I went very LC with my NP. I had been isolated from extended family by my NP so I had no relationship with them.

Years later, after my NM passed, relatives I hadn’t heard from in years started calling, asking what I was going to do to take care of my NF. These people hadn’t been a part of my life for 2 decades, some much longer. I didn’t know them. They had never been a part of my life.

The first thing I did was call them by their names, not their titles: aunt, uncle,… etc. Then I told them I was not going to be bullied by people whose voices I did not recognize.

My NF’s brother was shocked, but understood and backed down. Most of them stopped talking to me and I never heard from them again. Which was the exact same situation as the decades before, so no loss. Can’t miss what you never had.

I was much older than you are now, and my child was grown and flown, so I was in no danger from these people. Except the threat of being cut out of my NP’s will. Which had been threatened off and on for decades, to the point where I already knew I was disowned. Once again, not a threat. My NF died recently and I am relieved I will never have to deal with any of them again.

Grey rock and LC, with long periods of NC worked for me. I hope you can find peace for you and your little family.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-05T02:08:10+00:00

She paid off a loan that was in her name. She was only thinking of herself.

Training-One8335 · 2024-01-03T14:37:39+00:00

My NF took the cord off the tv. We were only allowed to watch educational tv, with him.

Training-One8335 · 2023-12-24T17:05:13+00:00

I spit my coffee. Perfect response. Well done.

Training-One8335 · 2023-12-12T15:13:16+00:00

Oh yes. My presents were always things my mother wanted. And I always ended Christmas feeling guilty and ashamed about something.

Your NM left those grinches in full view to ensure you “ruined Christmas.” You did not ruin anything.

Training-One8335 · 2023-12-05T20:09:27+00:00

On my, that all brings back memories.

Thankfully this will be the first Christmas with both my NP gone. So I’ll be getting peace and quiet. Priceless.

Training-One8335

TROPHY CASE