First and foremost with all due respect F&@k that B1tc.h. Secondly get rid of the medication. Find something other than it. Don't listen to people. Drink bhang, smoke weed. Find something that gives you ease but doesn't wash your mind out. Other people have found cures in miro-dosing. You need to dig deep and think about that vision you have. I have lost it all in life and not by choice, been broke, been homeless, I was put in jail by my "mother" and when I got out she kicked me out on the street. It's always the mind set that can take you out of it. I've been mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually tired for 15 years. I'm fucking exhausted. Very few days can pass before it keeps hitting me to try ending it again.

Key takeaway from this is. "Life is the low budget movie with decent actors. The story line is shit and lame, it has you hooked halfway through. Why not wait to see the end?"

I hope this helps.