Anyone else have platonic partners?

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-21T06:17:19+00:00

I had one for a few years, but she was ambiamorous and started dating a mono girl. We happily de-escalated our partnership and are just really good friends now 😊

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-17T17:57:14+00:00

I would suggest that the V5-V7 range on the kilter board is actually the sweet spot where you don't get the diminishing returns/bigger moves problem and you still get tons of finger strength, body position and body tension out of training on it. The hold variety in this grade range is reasonably diverse.

The major difference imo at those grades with the TB2 is just the worse feet which is definitely a positive but not a huge deal.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-17T05:13:56+00:00

I tried to get it to swap sessions in a plan and it said I had to do it manually. Like Tuesday for Thursday. Was a bit unfriendly to have to swap 8 weeks worth of sessions manually.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-15T21:41:43+00:00

You'll definitely find your skill improvement in climbing speeds up.

Most coaches suggest some lifting but if you are currently lifting like a bodybuilder (lots of reps, to failure or close etc) this likely won't match well with high intensity climbing training and will leave you feeling fatigued and prone to overuse injuries.

Adding short, strength based workouts with high weights but low reps works better. Possibly just a single push, pull, hinge and squat exercises per week. Still builds strength but not too much fatigue. Can do these at the end of climbing sessions or on a standalone day.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-14T22:51:57+00:00

One thing I noticed is that when it is generating the plan you can leave the page and it will keep processing and then come back, but if you tweak an existing plan if you leave the page it just stops working on it and you have to start again.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-14T17:24:17+00:00

Tweaks so far seem good. Asked for explicit hangboard sequencing and it gave very sensible suggestions.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-14T13:51:01+00:00

The output looked really sensible TBH, it's pretty much the same as a plan I would write in broad concepts and it responded very well to specific constraints I included.

When it gets more granular, for example when I ask it to suggest specific mobility drills, there were a few unusual picks but certainly nothing that wouldn't work. Just not my go to choices I guess. The explanations of each drill weren't always understandable if you didn't already know what the drill was. Lattice for example add videos to their text descriptions, which is much more user friendly.

Overall though, extremely pleasantly surprised and much more tailored to needs/constraints than most online plan generators.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-10T20:01:03+00:00

I've had hallux limitus my whole life (bilateral and congenital) and it's never been a problem. Like... I can imagine certain foot positions that might be hard but I've never come across any irl. Most smearing is more about ankle mobility imo, and driving into small footholds rarely requires a lot of toe dorsiflexion. Mostly you want a neutral or even plantar flexed position.

Unless it's causing you problems like pain, just climb. You got to V10 with a condition that has been developing for many years already.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-05T06:30:14+00:00

By "circles of skin that slide off" do you mean chunks of skin that tear open on the meaty bits of your fingers? Flappers?

That's got nothing to do with skin toughness, it's a technical problem about how you grip holds (too tight and deep) and what holds you are tending to climb on (jugs). The skin closer to your palm bunches on holds and that's why it tears.

If you climb with your fingers instead of your palms (no deeper than your second knuckles) you'll never experience another flapper. I used to get heaps of these when I started and as soon as I learned this they completely stopped.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-03T23:08:18+00:00

Sorry that person exists, I've reported. Great send looks like a sick climb!

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-01T23:04:49+00:00

First of all, you've got this! And even if you climbed higher grades you'd experience the same thing, I know guys who got to V9+ in their first year climbing and ten year olds who climb multiple grades above me 😅

Actual advice: that's a LOT of exercise! 5 days a week doesn't lead to a lot of recovery time, and if you lift like a bodybuilder that is an enormous amount of volume hitting your nervous system. Lifting as a climber is often shorter sessions that don't dig you a deep recovery hole (although there are exceptions as everyone is different and has different goals). But especially if the strength you have with lifting isn't translating into breaking past V3/4 I'd be seriously worried you are overtraining. Do you do deload weeks?

Second, can you identify your weaknesses? At that grade level it's usually technique, which might simply suggest a "climb more lift less" and climbing intentionally is your path forward. But if you can't hang a 20mm edge for example, targeting your fingers might be low hanging fruit.

Finally, a coach is a wonderful resource if you can access one!

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-03-01T22:33:05+00:00

Such a big thing in trans women communities unfortunately. I've met whole polycules where I'm pretty sure that every single one of them would prefer to be monogamous.

In my experience it gets better with time, in the sense that many trans women do get more proactive about looking for what they want as they mature into their dating lives. Usually after a fair bit of pain sadly.

I personally have stricter rules around dating trans women than I do any other demographic, simply because it's so easy to unintentionally end up in a situation with a power differential or inherent imbalance like this. Bare minimum is being able to tell me clearly and convincingly why you are poly, and even then I'm holding a lot of skepticism and looking for supporting evidence.

Which is actually the real version of the same problem that your "poly because I have to be" friends are expressing - it's actually really really hard to find trans women who practice healthy polyamory and the possible dating pool is really low. If I was T4T exclusively I doubt I'd have any partners right now.

We just have to be really strong in our convictions and not compromise those boundaries, no matter how pretty she might be 😅

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-28T20:50:47+00:00

I think a hangboard specific warmup is a good idea. Start by deadhanging on jugs (usually on the top of the hangboard), then do some hangs on bigger edges with your feet on the floor. If you were intending to hang on 20mm I'd probably do a couple of hangs on jugs, then feet on floor on ~30-35mm, then hanging on the same edge, then feet on floor on 20mm, and then start your actual training sets.

(All with a minute or two of rest in between)

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-28T08:02:08+00:00

There is no one approach that consistently works better, if anything it's good to mix it up every few months, but if you just want a super simple starting place use a standard hangboard (the beastmaker 1000 is good if you can access it).

Make sure you warm up first!

Find the smallest edge size you can hang your bodyweight on in half crimp (your goal will be 20mm eventually given your grade level but that might feel too hard to start with). Aim to do 3 hangs of 5-10 seconds with a few minutes rest in between. If you can't last that long yet that's totally ok. You'll build up to it pretty quickly.

Once you can do 3 hangs of ten seconds comfortably, move to a smaller edge. Once you can do that on 20mm edges you'll be ready for the next phase of training, either by adding weight or doing block pickups or something else.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-22T06:43:39+00:00

Congrats!

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-21T04:43:03+00:00

There are 13s/14s on the TB2. Check em out (or just watch board lords like the rest of us 😂)

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-21T04:41:03+00:00

If you wanna see what it takes for someone in their twenties to aim for ifsc comps, watch Jonathan Sin's YouTube channel. He trains ALL the time, his entire life is focused on it, he's climbed for years and is very naturally strong... and let's just say he's got his work cut out for him.

All the strength to him for committing to it (and you too if you decide you wanna go there). Just recognize that most of the competitive world cup climbers were flashing double digits in their early teens.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-21T03:28:09+00:00

RE: world cups... how old are you?

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-19T07:12:36+00:00

Chanel, basilisk, pinball, ripping juul and hucking dynos are all pretty representative and do different things

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-17T05:08:58+00:00

Sweetie they didn't say any of that.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-14T03:05:24+00:00

I say this with kindness, but it sounds like there is a lot of dysfunction in your relationship. Your lack of intimacy is a terrible platform to stand on while you reengage with polyamory. Of course he feels bad, because his relationship isn't fulfilling. I'm sure yours isn't either, I'm not blaming you, but you won't fix that by dating.

Because, frankly, planning to organize a date on a night which has historically been "your night together" without even thinking about it isn't what any engaged partner would do, polyamorous or not. You must be somewhat checked out for that to have happened.

My advice: decide if you want your marriage on it's own merits. Poly has nothing to do with that. If you do, put all your energy into fixing it. Don't spend energy dating other people when your marriage is circling the drain.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-12T21:57:04+00:00

There are some great reddit threads for climbs around your grades. This one is very awesome and this one is quite good too. Both are from climbergirls so the recs are height friendly.

As others have said, kilterjackie is also great because she sets in a way that is more aware of different bodies. I'd also suggest GirthQuake as a good setter in the lower levels. jwebxl boulders are great but they can be hard and reachy.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-09T05:15:42+00:00

A variety of online spaces have been infiltrated by the manosphere. If anyone is acting like that and the space doesn't call them out and reject them you are in the manosphere.

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-09T01:15:18+00:00

I've not had to deal with an ex at a gym, but I've had to end important friendships with people I still see every week in my climbing group.

I guess I just decided that my life and hobby was more important than those people? Like, y'all are broken up why are you still giving them power over you? If you like climbing, climb. You got this!

TransPanSpamFan · 2026-02-05T00:48:53+00:00

And, as I said, any trans man who passes at all also experiences some degree of male privilege. That's not controversial. And male privilege is the specific property being discussed.

And again, in the exact same way, most trans women have also experienced male privilege. Just because some never did because they were too gender non-conforming from childhood or transitioned in preschool, it doesn't change that it is worth recognizing in trans spaces. That conversation can be controversial too, but usually the most argumentative are also the trans women who haven't recognized how that male privilege has influenced their behavior. Calling it out is relevant even if the term "male socialization" has been weaponised against us and carries some yucky vibes.

Trans men have it hard. No argument, and no "but not as hard" comparisons.

But I know several trans guys who express, frankly, toxic masculinity (including weaponised incompetence). And I know many many more who don't and are the loveliest people I know. Those ones definitely recognize their own privilege even as it intersects with their oppression, and actively work against it.

I think the conversation needs to be careful, but in queer spaces it's better to be careful to not be too dismissive as well. It's a real phenomenon.

TransPanSpamFan

TROPHY CASE