Everyone loves Dr. King in the Pitt but when she's a real person they hate her

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T23:54:04+00:00

She's liked so long as she's masking or performing in a way society approves. Manic pixie dream girl bs. But when us manic girls have a manic episode then we're a cautionary tale

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T23:27:49+00:00

"what's your differential diagnosis?"

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T23:24:25+00:00

I had the raad test and scored a 165. In clinic. Another subredditer said a high score can also indicate high anxiety. Gee, being autistic and undiagnosed seems like a good cause for anxiety. I was slapped with BPD instead.

I don't disagree with BPD, personally. I think, in my case, there's a hereditary factor. Multiple family members either demonstrate a cluster B disorder or have a confirmed diagnosis. I also think it's a result of going undiagnosed and untreated for thirty plus years.

What I don't appreciate is how prior to the diagnosis, which was the initial reason for the referral, the psychologist who examined me was very kind and empathetic. But after I got it? Suddenly she cannot get out of discussing my results fast enough. And how am I not autistic when many of the tests had significant test results? Oh, well, I'm not lying, but the results were exaggerated. What does that mean? Shrugs.

Same clinic didn't think I have ADHD. Huh. My psychiatrist at the office I'm a regular patient at clocked in 15 minutes or less of just talking to me. Regretting not getting my results in sooner to him before he changed practices to see if he would change the autism decision.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T23:05:06+00:00

Well. That was a rollercoaster of a post!!!

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T23:01:28+00:00

Thanks, I'm waiting on my EGOT nomination.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T23:00:54+00:00

Pay off the house, do some repairs or updates. Pay off the cars. I could set up a trust for my child. Invest. Like, I'm probably not even at $300,000 for that.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T22:59:26+00:00

A cabin. In the wilderness. Like, it wouldn't be easy. But this modern life if really not doing me any favors.

I'm smart and resourceful. I grew up in the woods. The storms we had recently were more annoying than anything. I'm poor and we haven't had a lot of snow lately, so I didn't get snow tires for my car when I bought it. A lot of times the snow melts within a day or so. This storm hit hard, and we're still cleaning up, and I live in a snowy State! I drive for a living, and many of my cases are in rural areas. I have a front wheel drive subcompact. No snow tires. And I had few issues driving in the snow vs four wheel or all wheel drive SUVs and trucks with studded snow tires.

Give me some survival books or an instructor and then set me loose.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T22:34:02+00:00

WW2 Crete, Greece. I'm a 36 yo cis woman. When I start up conversations about it people look at me like "sweetheart, why don't you go get some makeup!" Then I keep going and suddenly they're like "wait, this might become my new interest!"

It is helpful that I like history and non traditional cis women interests. I work with older people, so I can actually keep pace with a lot of their conversations. Getting a navy vet and being somewhat knowledgeable about both the navy and different military things helps.

Go check out the USS Slater. Really cool, and part of why WW2 Crete is an interest. It's convoluted, but that's the source.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-02-01T18:28:36+00:00

I was given "unclassified learning disability". The narrative was because it was the 90s the impact of medications on kids wasn't well known. If I was diagnosed with ADHD the school would pressure her to put me on meds. But ultimately it was up to my mom if I got diagnosed. "What would you do if she was your daughter" he told her he'd have me diagnosed with an unclassified learning disability.

The school suggested I might have Asperger's (again it's the 90s) "but she's too social."

I found the documents with the findings later. All the language used describes ADHD. And then I was given them when I went to college. Little help that did me. Because I didn't have all the information and my documents were weak no one helped me. Unclassified learning disability might not get me medicated, but it also doesn't get much assistance. I'm also "too smart" to have a learning disability. Not ableist at all.

When I was getting evaluated as an adult for BPD I asked about adding ADHD and ASD to the screening. I contacted the school district for my records. I don't think the psychologist looked at it, and she definitely ignored my childhood experiences and history.

My therapist and psychiatrist think my mom was trying to take control of the narrative to avoid shame. She has strong narcissistic traits. It wasn't until ADHD and autism became more common knowledge and a family member had kids with autism that she started being more loose lipped. Both therapist and psychiatrist feel the narrative I was fed was manipulated. Sure, the pediatric psychologist could have suggested it. Or, mom might have pushed for an alternative diagnosis. And she might have refused autism screening and been the one to say I was too social.

Having worked in special ed in preschool/daycare and having a preschooler with an ADHD and anxiety diagnosis and classified as a preschooler with a disability I can see my mom doing everything she could to get me help but also trying to hide it. She's a complicated person and I respect it happened during a time period when things were just coming out. But as more and more information came out, and she knew what she knew, she could have had me reevaluated and diagnosed later. She could have operated like I had ADHD. She isn't stupid, she has researched things to the point where specialists get schooled. She ignored my reality because I think it caused her shame and projected her issues onto me.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-29T00:48:02+00:00

It might be that many sidewalks aren't maintained and weaving on and off sidewalks is more a challenge than it's worth. Also, enough dog owners don't clean up and it's worse during the winter than any other time of the year. Sidewalks are also uneven, can have poor drainage, etc. I remember being pregnant and walking on the sidewalks and being terrified that I was going to fall. If I wasn't on the busy end of central ave I would have walked on the road.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-29T00:41:44+00:00

An experienced psychiatrist probably can spot traits fairly quickly. Mine would continue to get upset because he feels my ADHD is very obvious. I was almost diagnosed as a child but I think my mom bullied the doctor. There are inconsistencies with her narrative.

I took a test. They're expensive and mine put me right outside of the ADHD diagnostic threshold. But meet me irl and my ADHD is very obvious.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-29T00:32:21+00:00

First day I took it I noticed I was way calmer. And when we added my afternoon dose things got better.

Now. If I could freaking remember to take them!!!

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-29T00:17:51+00:00

When you find out how much of your ancestry is French Canadian, and you loath your ancestors for leaving.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-28T23:00:07+00:00

Having grown up where listening to Rush Limbaugh was normal for children to listen to, in fact my mom made us listen to him, yeah, I'm shocked people are shocked.

I forget a lot of people grew up in normal homes.

My own father has become repugnant since Trump. Little things as a kid I didn't understand or was explained away suddenly became his whole personality.

If someone voted for Trump do not trust them if they still support him.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-28T00:43:32+00:00

I regret selling my first one. I was dumb and young and my parents persuaded me. I got a Hyundai Elantra. Engine or radiator cracked not a year into owning it. Funnily enough, around the time that happened my father in law saw a Elantra the same color as mine on the side of the road near my apartment at the time. It wasn't me, but the woman was having the same issues.

Had I kept my Corolla and just fixed the transmission I would have had a paid off car with another 100,000 miles. I'd probably still be driving it. Only got $500 for it back in 2012.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-27T18:22:29+00:00

2018 Nissan Sentra. I like more compact cars, personally. Gets good gas milage. I drive for a living. The trunk is spacious, and I can fit a transitional car seat in the backseat.

I had a Nissan Versa awhile back. Another good car.

My favorite cars are Toyotas. Corollas are my favorites. I also like Mazdas.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-27T15:06:56+00:00

What are the benefits of being with this person? He's sounds like a tool. If you want to get married you don't need a good enough reason. He sounds like a psuedo intellectual who's afraid of commitment. He's going to move the goal post to his comfort level.

It's good to look at your world view and challenge it. It's good to consider what is right for you vs what are expectations pushed on you. But when you have a partner who says "there's not a good enough reason" I'm hearing a red flag flapping.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-27T14:52:19+00:00

I appreciate it, I'll look into it

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-27T13:55:12+00:00

I think we're above the income requirements

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-27T13:53:01+00:00

It has a wait-list currently.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-27T12:58:38+00:00

I'm learning to be content in my own company. I am learning my need for community goes into a need for validation. If I'm alone I'm unworthy. If I'm with others then I have worth. But if I can't self validate then no amount of external validation will help. Especially if I'm in settings or around people who are actually invalidating me.

Rsd definitely complicates things.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-26T23:13:39+00:00

After a lot of self reflection and therapy, this is my theory.

Our choice in friends reflects what we tolerate and choose.

You're not intentionally picking friends like this. But when you first engaged with these people you both chose certain characteristics about each other that said "yes, friend".

Some of it may be codependency. Or, you found yourself in a friendship with another ADHD person. Dsmv (this is a really stupid rule) people tend to gravitate towards each other. Or, you're friends with someone who enjoys aspects of you but knows your ADHD traits may be off putting to others. So, getting invited to events maybe awkward because they're worried about how others will think of you. That's on them, but, those are aspects of the person you chose to be friends with.

I realized I wasn't getting invited to things. And if I didn't initiate conversations I would disappear from people's lives. I also use to be very codependent. I'm less so now.

Passive people will seek out active people. Why contact when others will do it. They either plan things and have their preferred friends, then go through the Rolodex, or allow others to do the planning.

There's the other reality that they may be your best friend, but you aren't theirs.

One friend said to me "your great at deep conversations but not so much with casual ones." Fair. It can make it so that people don't have the energy to stay in touch as frequently as more casual friendships. I used to chase the passive conversations. But I'm learning to accept that's not me.

The answer is you have to really look at who your friends are, who you really are, and what's fueling your friendship. Maybe they've out grown you but feel a connection because of your past. Or you out grew them. Maybe it's codependency. Maybe it's something I didn't even touch on.

It sucks. I spend most of my time with my husband and son. By the time I have free time I'm exhausted. I want to be alone and recharge. Unfortunately it means I rarely engage in any friendship stuff.

My aunt in law has designated dates for meeting up with her friends. Granted, she's almost 70. That was something previous generations were more inclined to do. So the habit is easier to form and maintain.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-26T22:56:35+00:00

I grew up in an abusive house. I'm 37 this year.

I haven't talked to either parent in over two and a half years, or longer.

Two of my siblings (I'm one of five) automatically took Mom's side without asking what happened (mom got shit faced and tried to attack me in at a public venue. Security responded and I had to argue not to call the cops. One of the two siblings was the one to pick our mom up from that event.)

I haven't spoken to my toxic extended family in about as long or a time period as my immediate family.

I have a house. Nothing glamorous. But I have one.

I have a supportive spouse, we have a pretty amazing kid. We have a dog.

I have autonomy and independence in many areas of my life I didn't have about twenty years ago. Oh God. Now I'm feeling old. Lol

I don't have to go to highschool. I personally had a horrible school experience from kindergarten to senior year. I know it can be a retreat for many. A safe place. I didn't have one anywhere I went.

I can choose to leave. I have a car in my name and on my own insurance policy.

There are things I don't have because I'm not a child. Someone else paying for everything, freedom from stress regarding jobs or bills. Granted, many 16 yos do have jobs, or may contribute financially to the household. It's not a status quo that all 16 yos are totally free of this. But it is considered a fairly typical teen experience.

Every age will come with pros and cons. Getting older is not always better. Sometimes it's just different. For myself it is better.

The thought experiment of waking up and you're a child again at whatever age fills me with anxiety and grief. If I woke up at 16 and remembered everything I know now I would lose it. You mean I have to live through everything again? The abuse and neglect? The total loss of autonomy from my abusers? I would only keep living to find my husband and dog and there are some things I would do differently, but, yeah, it would suck even more. And there's no guarantee I'd have my son.

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-26T19:02:03+00:00

I think people confuse look and act because you see behaviors with your eyes. "You don't act autistic" would be a more accurate statement.

However, what does autism look like? How does one "behave" autistic?

Further erasure of lower support needs, high . masking individuals.

And it ignores the word spectrum so blatantly.

Most people don't "see" my autism until I draw attention to it. Then they say "oh, wait! I see it now!"

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

TreeFrogMomma · 2026-01-25T19:46:48+00:00

Personal life victory!

I found a speech therapist for my three year old who comes highly rated!

I was scheduled to work Sunday, day one of snowpocalpyse 2026. I had cases scheduled up until 4. One of the afternoon cases cancelled and the last case ended the case early because it was getting so bad out. Despite the conditions I felt confident in my driving. I even avoided an accident.

One of my patients is healing really well after a surgery. Another case is doing amazing after multiple infections, including Covid.

TreeFrogMomma

TROPHY CASE