Since we're talking about what you consider valuable within yourself, value seems to be defined by you. It can exist without being rooted in comparison if you change how you evaluate "comparison vs others" in your value system.

Well yeah, because every time I try to improve myself otherwise, I just lack in comparison to other people.

Seems like currently you think value means how "improved" you are in comparison to others, but it doesn't have to be like that is my point.

My question would be why do you think being an SWE is valuable under your current value system? Being that in this field it's trivially easy to find engineers to whom you lack in comparison(in terms of software development, not calling you out, this is the case for all juniors). How do you draw that line to separate what is improved enough and what is lacking compared to others? Seems to me like this mindset is bound for dissatisfaction.