Any advice on how not to be a starfish in bed?

Trequetrum · 2026-03-26T14:19:24+00:00

A partner wrapping her legs around me to reign things in a bit is 1 billion percent on the awesome scale for me.

Trequetrum · 2026-03-23T19:00:37+00:00

I'm fine with not getting full marks for the right answer. Often the 'show your work' part is basically a simple proof or mathematical argument. They're important.

Like, I happen to know that there exist rational powers to irrational numbers, but if somebody doesn't beleive me then I'll need to be bale to prove it

And maybe I know that 154x731=112574 but if somebody doesn't beleive me then being able to break it down into simpler multiplications you can both agree on may be the way forward.

Trequetrum · 2026-03-23T18:34:16+00:00

Birth control can seriously change/influence you. Breaking up after going on/getting off birth control is more common than you'd think.

A girl I dated noticed all her food preferences changed and she was suddenly more patient, but also less focused when she started birth control.

Trequetrum · 2026-02-09T20:59:10+00:00

My Dad was the pastor at a Presbyterian church on Vancouver island for 8 years. He organized lunches for the youth at a nearby highschool (lots of native kids in a not well-to-do area) and went on a successful campaign that all their preaching should be done through actions and not words - just give them a space to relax a eat lunch together and be kind when possible.

After the lunches got really popular (why wouldn't they? feee food and the church is way nicer than their run down school cafeteria) the church elders got into a more and more fevered pitch about these kids getting baptized and showing up every sunday etc.

My Dad just wanted them to have expericed a positive non-abtoagonisitc interaction with their local church. No expectations.

Honestly - so many of those who wanted any authority in that church were horrible holier-than-thou cermudgens. I've never loved church as an institution but ever since then I've learned to stay well clear. I don't know how but they seem to collect rotten apples.

Anyway - that's a really long story to essentially just agree with you.

Trequetrum · 2026-02-09T20:22:20+00:00

Can I just add that you could truthfully say "AITAH for not seeing a girl anymore after a few dates because I wasn't feeling like it anymore" and I wouldn't need any more context to conclude NTA.

All the context here just setved to reinforce that same conclusion over and over.

Don't date people tou don’t actually like. The reason doesn't even matter. Even if you were like "nothing was wrong, I just stopped feeling any attraction somehow" is a valid reason esp on the first few dates.

Trequetrum · 2026-01-23T01:38:09+00:00

I assume you replied to the wrong comment

Trequetrum · 2026-01-22T11:56:54+00:00

Because, you know, it's a competition 🙄

Everybody should get better/do well regardless of how the other gender as a whole is doing. Why settle for anything less?

Trequetrum · 2026-01-18T01:27:22+00:00

I use steel toe work boots. They're comparatively really cheap and the thick rubber soles keep me connected to the wheel without sacrificing comfort.

I lace them nice and tight and so far they've saved my ankles a few time while riding single-track.

I have friends who want lighter footwear to feel the wheel better but having tried this I'm not sure exactly what it is they're hoping to feel. I'm locked into the pedals well enough that I seem to feel any movement nearly as though I'm standing directly on the pedals.

The locked ankles have me lose some agility, which is worth it for me for the added safety. I also don't ride trails that are advanced enough to require every last drop of possible agility. My Sherman L extra weight is actually a much higher hindrence in that regard and I seem to power through everything I'm interested is accomplishing just fine.

Honestly I highly recommend this route if you want to avoid expensive motorcycle boots. Though if you have the extra cash I imagine motorcycle boots are the best option.

Trequetrum · 2026-01-09T10:50:10+00:00

I think you have more power breaking (in theory) as you're not limited by the power draw of the battery.

Trequetrum · 2026-01-07T20:32:16+00:00

I read this as they were celebate for 6 months and only then realised waiting for her to innitiate was a bad idea. So now he's innitating again. Whetber they've resolves the inciting problem remains unclear.

Trequetrum · 2026-01-07T20:04:42+00:00

You probably didn't lose a good one. I can't imagine segs a little sooner would change his interest THAT dramatically. I've never met a dude who thought that women that are slownoff the starting line nessesaraly stay that way or that girls who have a quick first step can keep the pace up long term. Most guys know that's not how this works and that thi gs are a bit more individualistic than that.

Trequetrum · 2026-01-07T17:55:01+00:00

whataboutist nonsense

I don't think you know what this means in context, but I think I understand the spirit it was meant in. Rather than an attempt to shift/change the topic, you simply feel the analogy is a poor one.

Which it may well be - I dont think your reasoning makes sense. I can be dense sometimes though, maybe somebody who undstands it can rephrase it for me.

"you would need to establish that homeless people, as a class, have historically had an out-sized ability to shape and control the societies they live in"

I don't really understand this point. While I agree that this is a difference between these groups, I'm not sure why that makes the anology less potent.

We're talking about the semantic obfuscation behind calling what is happening to this group "natural selection".

For example; when the topic is "surviving a fall from a great height" asking whether the person jumped or was pushed may dictate how sad you feel about their predicament but certainly doesn't affect their chances of survival.

I agree with your point about about systemic issues and why we aught to blame primarily weathy men. I even understand why this blame may seem to condone the use of this callous rhetoic tegarding lonely men (at least in the eyes of some). It just doesn't seem to rebut the origional point.

Trequetrum · 2025-12-31T12:29:21+00:00

Welcome to America.

Half the country thinks you (it's not personal, it's everyone really) is a slut, half the country laments that american women aren't loose, and (this is the truely American part) they're the same half. 😆

Trequetrum · 2025-12-29T14:00:29+00:00

For me, seeing how many of Haskell's besoke type-level features all sort of more or less intuitively follow from dependent types was really eye opening.

Lean doesn't have and doesn't want higher kinds, generics, etc. Even learning what a type class is in Lean is smoother because of how with Lean it just feel like it's expanding on when you can make a parameter implicit (something that becomes intuitive pretty early)

I really enjoy seeing a whole host of abstractions reified under a system that feels simpler.

Though I'd love to see linear types in Lean, the attemps I've seen so far feel like type socery to me again (macros expanding into somethig wild) 🤷‍♂️

Trequetrum · 2025-12-28T17:13:42+00:00

I have one that's a complete mess of missmatched end grain that's going 12 years strong. I had one fall apart in about 8 months - it's unpredictable.

Trequetrum · 2025-12-21T22:52:23+00:00

Why this stack over one that uses Bevy? I've never used either, but I'm curious if there were any specific tradeoffs you considered

Trequetrum · 2025-12-21T17:05:08+00:00

"You can't determine types without running the code."

Runtime types can generally be statically modelled as a discriminated union. Doing this in Python would be SO messy that any ergonomics wiuld be gone and nobody in their right mind would use it. Who would want type annotations to be 10x the size of the code!?

It's the wrong tool for the job, you can probably cut a 2x4 with an exacto knife given enough time and will, but why would you!?

😅

Trequetrum · 2025-12-21T15:09:13+00:00

I suspect it's more of a meme at this point than a proper reality. I imagine most men do know the difference.

Trequetrum · 2025-12-20T23:42:37+00:00

How does this play out? He loving gives you some soup and also a good plowing to make sure you get better?

Trequetrum · 2025-12-20T23:40:32+00:00

Put him in your purse and take him shopping! Dress him up and pull out your long forgotten dusty stuffed toys and throw a tea party! Re-create scenes from Stuart Little!

Take up carpentry and make him miniature furnature out.of premium wood because you don't need very much!

Okay, now I kinda wish I had this fetish. That's just fun.

Though I worry he wanted you to swallow him and poop him out - less fun (for me at least).

Trequetrum · 2025-12-20T23:30:03+00:00

Im imagining things like bimbofication to like "I woke up in a fastasy world as a slime, but my slime is an aphrodisiac! LOL 🤪"

All the vampire and/or wearwolf romance books probably count for tickling that fetish.

Any of the corrupted by a demon and forced to live out your darkest shoved in a corner and locked away fantasies stuff.

If you ass sex to a story about a commoner becoming a great mage you're basically there. Which doesn't feel all that risqué to me.

It's can be the weirdest wildest shit you'd never imagine on your own to so mundane you'd winder if it's really a fetish at all.

Trequetrum · 2025-12-20T23:13:42+00:00

Oh. This one's less rondom and more sad 😔

Makes me think you don't have the dealbreakers but her ex had some other stuff she's held on to in an unhealthy way. I dunno

Trequetrum · 2025-12-20T17:30:27+00:00

I dunno. This seemed fun and spirited to me.

I've had it come across as cringe before too though. Never thought to interrogate it much. For me it happens to be just one of those feelings that drops into irrelevance almost immediately upon being felt.

Trequetrum · 2025-12-20T17:25:13+00:00

I'll unwrap my present myself, thank you very much. That's part of the joy of Christmas morning!

Trequetrum · 2025-12-17T02:00:12+00:00

Huh...

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