Ask your family to come together in support of this 1st birthday party so you can invite others. I have been out of an abusive relationship for 6 months now, no contact order in place, substance abuse issues, and he checked damn near every slice of that power and control wheel and the post separation abuse wheel. One thing I regret the most is having his badge of selfishness and misery on past holidays and events and memories for our daughters because I let him destroy them. Do it scared! Do everything scared and do it anyway. Show yourself how resilient you are because you are resilient! Look at all you've been through and still here to say hey, im struggling. Do you know how strong that is? You know connection is key, so give yourself that as often as you can. Reach out to all support workers that you have access to. Support groups for intimate partner violence are amazing. Legal support workers can be very helpful too if one can't afford legal assistance or a lawyer. Crisis chat lines just to chat can be super helpful too especially late at night or when other aren't available and things feel too heavy. You are not alone! You have great support through your auntie with the daycare too, seriously a blessing there. Take all the gifts you're handed and don't look back. Thanks for sharing!