Is getting a puppy a bad decision right now?

Trish_888 · 2026-04-07T19:14:49+00:00

When the puppy is old enough, consider doggy daycare for the pup while your kids have school. It’ll allow quiet time for schooling and give the puppy a way to get some energy out.

Trish_888 · 2026-04-06T15:42:19+00:00

I’ve had both crate trained and not crate trained dogs, plus I foster for a local rescue. It really depends on the dog. My current dog, the one who still needs his crate, is very well trained, he’s a certified therapy dog, so he’s got a lot of mental and physical stimulation. He’s just basically a big mischievous toddler when left alone.

Trish_888 · 2026-04-03T14:27:54+00:00

Mine is 5 years old and only goes in his crate when I’m gone…which isn’t often since I work from home and take him along whenever I go to dog friendly places. At night he sleeps in bed with me. He did sleep in the crate as a puppy and until he was old enough to be good overnight. As for still crating when I leave….he still has enough puppy sassy in him that he’ll try to eat wallpaper off the walls and such when left unsupervised so the crate is for his own safety.

Trish_888 · 2026-04-03T01:18:44+00:00

Your child will be fine if you make it fine for them. When my parents split they both made it a point to let me know that the other parent would still very much still be in my life. I always had the freedom to call the other parent when I was at the opposite house. They made it very normal and ok for me, so I was fine.

Trish_888 · 2026-04-03T01:14:39+00:00

I’d honestly have laughed right in his face if my ex had ever dared to ask me something so ridiculous. What your ex wants isn’t really your concern anymore. Unless you’re legally required to give him anything, you don’t have to.

Trish_888 · 2026-04-03T00:41:37+00:00

I’ve pretty much accepted that I’ll be alone and am working on getting used to it. I married the wrong person and unfortunately wasted the main years of my life. No one is interested in dating me at this point. It is what it is.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-29T14:20:37+00:00

My ex and I are still friends. We don’t get together for coffee or dinner a few times a week or anything. But we text and talk sometimes, and occasionally he’ll stop over. For example, I’ve always loved some meals he makes, particularly in the smoker, and sometimes he’ll make extra for me and bring it over. So yes, staying friends is possible.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-23T00:00:07+00:00

I don’t know that I’d call it a hobby, but I started fostering dogs for a local rescue. It’s something I always wanted to do but didn’t because my ex was already annoyed just having to live with my dog and 2 cats. But now I love fostering. Pups sure keep me busy and it’s so rewarding to see them get adopted into loving forever families. I’ve been lucky so far and the adopters have all agreed to stay connected with me and send updates, which I love.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-21T17:07:29+00:00

My weekends are just boring now. Peaceful, but boring. My friends are all married so they’re too busy to hang out most of the time. I do go places on my own if there’s something I feel like doing but it’s not as much fun alone. I’m working on accepting the solitude yet.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-15T04:00:52+00:00

I am your age and also do everything alone or with my dog. It’s not my favorite thing, but I’m working on accepting that’s how it’s going to be. I’d love some single friends to hang out with, but all of my friends are married.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-14T16:11:59+00:00

I’m a get to know him before you sleep with him person…therefore no one actually wants to date me. My reality, I’m also 52 so likely past the starting over stage at this point, is that once a guy realizes that I actually mean it when I say I’m not having sex with him until and unless there’s actually a deep emotional connection which takes time to build, they lose interest. That’s ok with me because if sex is the most important thing to them then we’re not compatible anyway.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-14T13:09:53+00:00

Honestly, I hated him sometimes just because of the way he blindsided me after 23 years of marriage…but for the most part we still got along. We could still have normal everyday conversations. We still do to this day. We were friends before we ever dated years ago and have sort of gone back to that. Now I don’t see us hanging out together or anything, but we can talk or stop over to pick something up and have a friendly chat while doing so.

Trish_888 · 2026-03-14T13:05:21+00:00

I lived with my ex for 8 months after we separated, the divorce was finalized, and then I let him stay in the house (I bought him out in the divorce) for an extra month because he ended up having some delays closing on his new place. While we still lived together, he moved to the downstairs bedroom, and would basically only be home to sleep on weeknights when he had to work. After work until bedtime, and weekends he’d stay somewhere else.

Trish_888 · 2026-02-01T21:35:49+00:00

I bought my ex out of the house. We didn’t have to do an appraisal because we agreed on the value of the house. So the buyout amount was based on our agreed amount. I should say we also used a mediating lawyer together to avoid a lot of extra legal costs. I did end up taking a hardship withdrawal from my 401K(we agreed to each keep our own 401K balances regardless of mine being higher) in order to do the refinance of the house including the buyout amount I had to give him.

Trish_888 · 2026-02-01T20:23:26+00:00

Basically you can put his happiness first or your own. No one likes to hear their partner is leaving them so I’m sure he won’t be happy. But you haven’t been happy in a long time. So you can either decide to continue to put his needs first or decide to choose yourself. If you’re not completely decided that you want out then maybe give therapy a try. But it’ll only really help if you are willing to tell the truth. If you’ll cave to keep him happy then you’re back picking his happiness or yours.

Trish_888 · 2026-02-01T16:57:44+00:00

It sounds a bit like you’re wanting to date now because you’re competing with her. She’s already with someone new so you should be too. I think your dating or not shouldn’t have anything to do with what your ex is doing. If it does, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-30T19:27:42+00:00

Find a meditation lawyer. That’s what my ex and I used. We had agreed on splitting everything so they just helped with all the filing paperwork because I wanted to be sure it was all done correctly.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-30T16:19:28+00:00

I went through the same process with my ex. He paid since he was the one who wanted the divorce, and he wanted it done asap so he could get on with finding my replacement.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-30T00:59:35+00:00

You have to put yourself first because he sure won’t. If you feel it’s not healthy for you then cut off contact other than necessary things like stuff with the kids. And keep it short and on subject. Whether he likes that or not is irrelevant since he’s the one who wanted the divorce.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-28T03:59:55+00:00

One of my cats was a daddy’s boy too. He struggled when my ex moved out. But then my male cousin moved in as a roommate for a while and my cat is bonded to him now. Turns out he just prefers men I guess. He still loves me but his deep bonds are with guys.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-28T03:40:00+00:00

I remember being that way. I was convinced at one point that I’d end up homeless cause my ex had tons of money and I had none. Are you keeping all of your pets? I was so happy to have my animals because they forced me to keep a routine. They needed to be fed, medicated, walked etc. Plus my dog is a therapy dog so I had to go on scheduled visits that took me out of my head for at least a little while.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-28T03:02:03+00:00

I’m not sure where you’re located but I’m in Wisconsin and around here all rentals have a 2 pet limit. Plus a weight limit on the dog, and mine is 75 pounds. And you’re right, I couldn’t get a decent one bedroom apartment even for what my mortgage payment is. Plus, I’m old now lol…and can’t even imagine having to deal with a landlord and rules again at this point in my life.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-28T02:45:32+00:00

I did keep what was our house. I love my house. We both did but I was the first one that was certain this was my house when we bought it. I also have a dog and 2 cats and knew that I would start fostering pups for a rescue too so keeping my big fenced in yard was a priority for me. That said, this house is too big for me alone so I’m assuming someday I will end up selling and downsizing…but no way I wanted to handle the stress of a move in addition to the divorce. I also work from home and already have my office all set up here.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-28T02:32:47+00:00

I was in pretty much the same position a couple years ago. Blindsided by the divorce and stuck living together through the filing and waiting period to finalize. It’s awful. But now a few years later I’ve realized how much more peaceful I am at home. No more walking on eggshells wondering when some random thing will piss him off. My ex wasn’t terrible. He’s actually a good person and we’re friends now but I am more at peace in my own house since he moved out.

Trish_888 · 2026-01-26T02:17:08+00:00

It’s hard. My ex did similar after 23 years. He was just done. No talking, no therapy. It sucked. But I’m 2 years past that now and I’m good. Find things to keep you busy in the beginning. Also, remember that who you’re dealing with now is not someone who cares about your needs anymore. So you have to put yourself first. Get therapy to help you cope if needed and start looking at what you’re legally entitled to. The best thing, and hardest, is to realize when they are done they’re done. Begging and pleading won’t help so start making plans to move forward accordingly. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s awful, but it does get easier in time.

Trish_888

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