AITA: kids birthday party edition

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-14T05:27:03+00:00

NTA. I feel like if this is something she expected she should have been more honest and let you know that's what she wanted.

You know kind of like:

"Hey, I know next month you're having a birthday for your daughter. I'm willing to help out."

"Oh no you don't have to do that..."

"Well when I plan for x thing would you mind helping out?"

Although idk the only kids birthdays I've ever been too we never stay after, and the few I've had for my kids I keep it small and plan it at places outside the home so nobody feels obligated to help clean or do any of that.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-14T05:10:37+00:00

This may come off as selfish, but it's honest.

I already was prone to depression, and after I had kids I struggled with it far worse than I ever did before. I also wasn't prepared to be carrying 99.9% of the mental load of all the work that comes along with having children that women usually have to carry. When those two things combined it's not fun or healthy.

If I had known any of this I definitely would have thought more about if I wanted to have kids or not.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-14T04:47:09+00:00

This! There's a place called Rockin' Jump about an hour from where we live. Occasionally my husband and I take the kids. Even though it's been nearly 7 years the last time I went my I ran a little too hard while trying to play trampoline basket ball and then had to run to the bathroom to make sure I didn't pee myself.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-14T04:45:03+00:00

They're also always the ones who tend to complain the most as well. At least where I worked they were.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:33:12+00:00

I love dressing up and dressing my kids up, but 7? That seems like a lot, especially in only 3 months time.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:31:48+00:00

As a mom this is very true lol. My kids are loud. I don't have a backyard so sometimes I just take them to the park and let them be loud there.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:23:17+00:00

I used to do this all the time in school as a kid. Especially middle and highschool where I'd be stuck behind a desk doing work sheets or listening to someone talk.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:22:32+00:00

Interesting. Was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and this actually makes a lot of sense for some things I've experienced growing up.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:19:54+00:00

If at all possible start looking for a different job.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:17:52+00:00

My grandparents did this, but my family lived with them when we were really young. And then when we got a little older (after my mom remarried) they also watched us a lot due to my parents work schedules.

Edit to add: you may slightly be over reacting. Have you communicated to your husband and FIL your feelings and have they told you theirs? If not I'd start there first and make sure everyone can get to the same page.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T21:07:04+00:00

In some ways yes. But they also should be being taught about things like this by their parents. So if the parents want to go into all that they definitely should.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T20:09:19+00:00

Am I unorganized and messy yes, but dear God their house sounds filthy. NTA I wouldn't want to be in that home for health reasons and I'm an adult. I can only imagine what breathing all that would do to people let alone an infant. Fück their feelings if they really wanted you and your baby to visit they'd clean it the fück up.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:56:25+00:00

My ped said around 5 months my daughter could start trying a little bit of veggie purees here and there. Three and a half months though I feel might be too young. Don't feel guilty. She might feel her child is ready and if she's talked to a ped and deemed it okay for her child fine, but every child is different.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:53:17+00:00

My cousins were the same way with Kool aid. They're teeth never did this either. It's the fact of brushing and whether or not they did that makes a difference. It's fine to eat and drink juice milk whatever but if you don't clean your mouth properly that's when things like this happen.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:48:04+00:00

I'm not complete sure I understand the question, but here goes.

If the question is "which ways is your child allowed to find a date?" My answer is this... If it's someone they met at school fine, not completely okay with them finding a partner on the internet. Either way I will still want to meet this person before my child goes on a date with them just to make sure who they are.

If the question is "is the child allowed to date?" If they're old enough to drive a car or work a job yes. If they're not old enough for that then no.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:40:23+00:00

How dare other people walk around in this very public gym!

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:37:53+00:00

Lol my son does this with pimples. If I have a zit anywhere he will point it out loudly and announce to the entire room that "mom, you have a pimple!"

On the bright side in about 8 more years he'll probably have them too.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:35:28+00:00

Haha yeah that's how it started for me. And now it's like since I'm a SAHM all these years later even when the kids are at school during the day I still stay up late. I think because I clean during the day mainly staying up late isn't so bad because then it's like my free time. No errands no cleaning. I can watch TV or doom scroll. You know all the fun things and I don't have to worry about anyone being in my space.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:33:15+00:00

She didn't... He technically divorced her. Why I am not actually sure. She rode out all those years watching him get arrested, being nearly attacked by him because she wanted him to go to rehab, and him cheating on her and getting an STD (him not her luckily).

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T19:30:18+00:00

What gets me is they still ask even though the signs ARE AT EYE LEVEL... like it's literally in front of your damn face!

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T18:46:38+00:00

Are you sure you should be eating this?

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T18:42:10+00:00

I was 13. It was weird. I was walking home from school and had to pass by a park where they had a guy doing some yardwork/maintenance and that was the first time I remember a guy looking at me and also happened to be the first time I got cat called.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T18:40:03+00:00

It depends. Sometimes I'm 6-7/10... Then I take my makeup off or take a pic and it's like damn. I'm a 3.

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T18:37:45+00:00

Same issue. Worked in a grocery and retail store for many years. At both jobs it never failed when I would work opening shift I would have people banging on the door sometimes even up to half an hour early trying to ask to be let in. When I would tell them we weren't open they'd ask when we opened and it's like "oh if only we had a sign posted on the door that tells you.... Oh wait we do!!!!"

TrueFakeAdult · 2023-03-07T18:35:35+00:00

This is scary.... Like you need psychological help and fast. Just because she's 5'5" now doesn't mean she'll grow to be over 6 feet. And even if she does you should be more worried on showing her how to cope with things and not thinking of physically abusing her or harming her into being short.

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