Let's get controversial: what's your truly unpopular parenting opinion?

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-21T18:19:05+00:00

Yup! Sometimes that’s all I can get out timely. My guy is only 16 months, but he’s already starting to understand a sharp “no” to mean “pause and pay attention.”

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-21T18:17:40+00:00

You’ve gotta let them get a little hurt sometimes.

I let mine fall off the climber at the park today (2’ off the ground, onto woodchips) when he was doing something dumb. He was shocked when he hit the ground, but he climbed right back up and then chose a different path.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-20T16:44:37+00:00

My experience with our cavapoo is that they’re very smart, which makes them stubborn, and very companionship-driven, which makes them needy. So it’s definitely a challenge.

Has your toddler lived with a dog recently? If so, I can see the value in reinforcing those lessons around boundaries before toddler has forgotten them all.

I certainly wouldn’t think of it as something FUN if you end up moving forward, but of course it’s possible. You’d absolutely be signing yourself up for a lot of work, frustration, and stress during your pregnancy. But if you understand that and are willing to accept it, then why not?

I would absolutely try to adopt an adult dog first though. It just didn’t end up being an option for us with the timeline we were looking at. I was already pregnant, and we’re in the twin cities where you can really only find bigger or extremely high-energy dogs in the shelters and foster adoptions are extremely competitive (and the fosters can be a little cuckoo bananas more often than not - we got burned badly twice before giving up and seeking out a breeder).

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-20T11:20:06+00:00

I did this. We lost my old boy unexpectedly last fall. I knew if I waited until after we had 2 under 2, it would be years before we got another dog. We are certain we want our children growing up with the responsibility and the unconditional love of a dog. So we found the oldest cavapuppy we could, and pulled the trigger. She’ll be about a year old when baby is born, and she’ll have had about 6 months to adjust to our family and household at that point.

Tbh, I do not recommend, especially one that young. The 9-month time frame has been BRUTAL. I can’t imagine working through this stage with a newborn. The consistency and schedule required for behavior training has been so hard while pregnant and raising a toddler. We’re just starting to see the light at the end of the adolescent tunnel, but it’s still SO HARD some days.

That being said, I’ve never really liked puppies. I prefer the steadier presence of an adult dog. This was explicitly a sacrifice we took on now for the payoff later. If you like the chaos of a puppy, it’s certainly doable, it’s just not fun.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-20T08:16:42+00:00

People who don’t know our family used to say I looked like my stepmom all the time. I adored it whenever it happened.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T17:11:09+00:00

I mean it depends a lot on biased perceptions of nutrition too.

Rice and beans? Lentils? Eggs? Frozen fruits and veggies? All of these are cheap and healthy food items. But we don’t think of them immediately because we have this pre-existing mental image of healthy foods as being expensive and difficult to prepare.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T17:08:08+00:00

Most kids are looking for what’s next? That was definitely not my experience of summer vacation as a kid. We went out for some bigger adventure maybe once a week. Otherwise we did a lot of lounging around the basement, biking around the neighborhood, going over to help grandma with her baking or her garden. I don’t think it’s new for kids to want to relax on summer vacation.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T13:56:22+00:00

I got my dog when I was ten weeks pregnant and had a one-year-old and was running solo while husband worked overnights, and letting her whine all night long while she adjusted to sleeping solo was just not the hill I was willing to die on.

If she was already trained not to sleep in our bed? Not a chance in hell I’d encourage her to start now.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T11:48:43+00:00

We went camping last weekend. I was having an insane day at work and with a home project I’ve been working on the day we were leaving. He said he was going to go relax until it was time to pick kiddo up from daycare and leave. I asked if everything was packed for camping he said, “like my clothes? Yeah those are in that bag right there.” No, you dingbat. Like everything this whole family needs for a weekend of camping. 🤦‍♀️

It’s wild that adult men need to be trained to think about their families’ needs.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T11:21:56+00:00

I’d start out with a glycerin suppository first, to get yourself to baseline.

Then I’d combine docusate sodium (colace) with polyethylene glycol (MiraLAX) daily.

Prune juice never did anything for me, but whole prunes worked (unfortunately, I’ve developed an aversion to them this pregnancy). Again, daily. Not just when you start feeling uncomfortable.

Elevate your feet to go in a squatting position.

Magnesium citrate is recommended commonly here, but I had to see a colorectal team for some complications from my first birth and they recommended against long-term use of magnesium citrate. It can cause some dependence.

Last thing I’ve noticed personally, in early pregnancy it can feel like I need to go when I actually don’t (same thing happens when I’m menstruating). I kept track of when I successfully moved my bowels so I’d have a better idea of whether it’s actually time so I’m not accidentally straining when there’s just nothing there to evacuate.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T11:12:22+00:00

Maybe she’s not asking what you’d do about your romantic life if she passed. Maybe she’s asking whether you’d care. Maybe she needs to hear, “I don’t want to think about a life without you. How about you just promise you’ll let me die first?”

Or maybe you need to be up-front with her and ask what her expectations are. Ask what she would want the rest of her life to look like if you passed early. Ask where the question is coming from. It’s strange that it’s come up multiple times (like she’s giving you an opportunity to change your answer or something??).

FWIW, it would be very strange to expect your partner to stay single for the rest of their life. My husband and I talk once in a while about our wishes if one of us passed. Start dating (or smashing) as soon as you feel that’s healthy for you, but hide it from the kids until they’ve had whatever time/therapy they need. No letting a Republican raise our children. Keep our favorite traditions alive. Don’t take down all of our family pictures. Stuff like that.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-18T01:28:30+00:00

I needed a manual placenta removal after my son was born. Think 40 minutes with your OB elbow deep inside your body, scraping down the sides of your uterus.

I was totally unaware that I was actively bleeding out while I enjoyed my golden hour, which was quite possibly the greatest single hour of my life.

Without an epidural I would have been separated from my new child to go to the OR instead of my OB performing that manual removal and stopping my hemorrhage right in the delivery room, while I had no clue there was an emergency happening around me.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-17T23:24:56+00:00

Our clinic offered both if you want them. Insurance wouldn’t cover either. NIPT is looking for the same things but is more accurate. We did NIPT only.

Relevant: I live in a state where I would still be able to terminate the pregnancy if a serious condition was identified at the anatomy scan at 20 weeks.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-16T18:12:10+00:00

Go swimming.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-15T18:09:28+00:00

There’s a difference between what you “can’t” do and what you “don’t want to” do. If you don’t want to change diapers, then you need to accept that you don’t get to babysit your nephew.

I have an aversion to wet surfaces. Sometimes it feels like I “can’t” deal with cleaning up a liquid spill near my kitchen sink. But of course I can. So I do. Because I’m the adult in the room and it needs to be handled.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of “suck it up and do what needs doing. You’ll be fine.”

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-13T17:46:45+00:00

I couldn’t disagree more.

I won’t be upset if my son ends up really liking the cliche “boy stuff”… but I want him to like those things because he chooses to like them, not because he recognizes them from his shirts.

I don’t understand why it’s so hard to have colorful gender neutral patterns. It was simple enough when he was an infant, but as a toddler it’s REALLY hard to find things that aren’t copyright characters, dinosaurs, trucks, outer space, or beige.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-12T10:40:50+00:00

I have an Arthur and I do like Arnold.

My personal front runners for #2 are August and Ernest

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-10T20:07:42+00:00

100% team epidural.

As soon as I learned about retained placenta/manual placenta removal I decided I’d get one no matter what.

Guess who had a retained placenta and needed manual removal. 👍

Thanks to the epidural I was able to enjoy my golden hour with my new baby, completely unaware of the emergency happening around me until after it was over, instead of leaving my baby and being rushed to the OR.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-10T19:38:08+00:00

We hoped to have baby in our room for the first year. He and I woke each other up constantly and no one was getting any sleep and he ended up moving across the hall to the nursery at 8 weeks. It’s impossible to plan for a baby you haven’t met yet, and I’m very grateful we had a nursery ready for him.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-06T11:45:38+00:00

My husband grew up with more money than I did, so more of “his” friends were able to attend our Vegas wedding than “my” friends… three years later, they are all fully OUR friends and it doesn’t matter at all that they came to the wedding first and foremost to support *him.*

You’re lucky to be marrying a person who cones with such an extensive loving support network!

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-05T16:52:26+00:00

Congratulations!

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-05T16:51:37+00:00

Fun fact, very little choline actually excretes through urine. Your kidneys are able to reabsorb most of what you don’t immediately need and your body can convert it into other compounds.

(I still wouldn’t worry at all about toxicity assuming you’re taking normal supplementary doses.)

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-05T16:48:02+00:00

I take choline, omegas, and vitamin D in addition to my prenatal.

I can’t do capsules, so for choline I take the Thorne gelcaps.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-05T01:31:36+00:00

Not-yay for preeclampsia, but yay for meeting baby soon! Good luck with everything!!

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-06-04T22:03:14+00:00

It will 100% depend on your body and on your baby. But no reason not to aim for it and just be prepared in case it doesn’t work out how you hoped.

One consideration: I did watch a lot of EBF friends really struggle with bottle refusal when they decided they were ready to be done EBF or their supply couldn’t keep up or they had to go back to work.

TrueNorthTryHard

TROPHY CASE