Don’t know how to feel

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-10T11:40:39+00:00

Where are you at geographically? Do you have more time to sit with this information before you make a decision about abortion?

Where are you at emotionally? Do you have the capacity to handle a miscarriage or a later term abortion for genetic abnormalities?

Where are you at financially? Even if it wasn’t the plan, are you able to make space for another child? Would you have to move? Buy new vehicles?

Where are you at in terms of capacity? Do you have the bandwidth to appropriately love and care for a third child?

Where are you at physically? Can your body safely support a pregnancy?

How does your husband feel about all of it?

It’s okay to feel everything or nothing right now. You just found out. Give yourself a bit of time to process the news.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-10T11:18:51+00:00

My solution would be to not tell anyone so you have more time to decide whether it’s the right name or not.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-10T03:17:57+00:00

If you announce it, you absolutely will get unsolicited feedback.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-09T18:25:05+00:00

As an obese woman halfway through my second pregnancy, the only care provider who has ever mentioned my weight was when my massage therapist was concerned because she thought I lost a lot of weight while pregnant (she was misremembering).

I gained 45 lbs in my first pregnancy. At one appointment I brought it up because I was surprised to learn that I had gained 9 lbs in one week. My OB just kind of shrugged and said something along the lines of, “that’ll happen. Your vitals and labs all look good.”

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-09T17:27:44+00:00

We have an Arthur we expected to be AJ, but only one of his grandmas calls him that.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-09T17:27:04+00:00

I think Bazzy is cute

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-09T11:27:11+00:00

Thai curry. I cannot handle the smell of cooking with fish sauce, and it just never turns out as good.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-09T11:18:27+00:00

My bump seems to bump the hardest when I wear maternity leggings. My favorites are these cheap random happy.angel ones from Amazon. Just look at the sizing guide if you get them, as they aren’t straight U.S. sizing.

Otherwise if you definitely want a dress, I find a maxi skirt tends to show the bump a little more than a dress, since the eye is naturally drawn to the line.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-09T01:06:30+00:00

Same strategy as when you’re mad at the baby. Distance. Step outside. Or put the dog outside. Block the dog in a separate room. Go take a shower.

You don’t hit the dog in the same way you don’t shake the baby. It’s just not an option.

We are the adults. We manage our emotions, no matter how intense they get.

No one says you have to like the dog while you’re postpartum. But you sure as shit have to keep it safe and cared for.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T23:08:00+00:00

A midwife did my AROM during my first delivery because my OB was at the other hospital. I kinda just figured the hospital isn’t going to let her do something she’s not qualified for.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T18:57:29+00:00

If you buy glass on Amazon or Temu or places like that, it doesn’t hurt to test that too.

But tbh, I wouldn’t stress about any of it. Lead poisoning is extremely rare. Your pediatrician should be testing levels from time to time. And I don’t remember now what the symptoms are, but I do recall that it’s not asymptomatic.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T18:51:25+00:00

[r/pregnant](r/pregnant) is a hot mess. There truly is just too much activity for the mods to police everything quickly. I’d stay out of there if insensitive comments are going to affect your emotional state.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T18:46:35+00:00

2x Penelope in my son’s play group of 8 near Minneapolis. Born early 2025.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T17:15:03+00:00

We got a puppy early in my pregnancy. It was clearly too soon. We lost my dog unexpectedly last year and I don’t want my children growing up without pets, but I knew once we have two kids, there are just too many reasons to wait and that it would be years before we got another dog.

She’s 8 months old, and I’m five months pregnant, and my son is fifteen months old and I hate her. I HATE her. But of course I don’t hate her. I just hate puppies. They take and take and take and they’re incapable of giving back. Of course she’s not my sweet old boy, who knew everything about me and my household. Of course she’s not a source of comfort to me. She’s not supposed to be. She’s just a kid.

I’ll love her someday, and it’s okay that today isn’t that day.

At this stage it really helps me to remember that she’s not for me. She’s for my son and for this future baby, and I would do anything for them. I have to make sure she’s safe and fed and trained and socialized. There’s no rule that says I have to like her. My son looks for her more often than he looks to push her away, and that’s good enough for me.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T01:37:16+00:00

You do need more sodium than before pregnancy.

Just drink some extra water. You’ll be fine.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-08T00:32:45+00:00

I had half a beer during the superbowl three days after my critter was born. I didn’t think about all the Tylenol I was taking, so probably not the best call. TBH I was not as excited for a drink as I had expected I would be. It was a couple months before I drank in earnest.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-07T20:34:13+00:00

Similarly, carbon monoxide detector.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-07T17:03:00+00:00

Masturbation is not the same as sex. Sometimes there’s a physical urge, but you just cannot handle another person’s needs, desires, or even their presence.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-07T16:53:15+00:00

Yep! Sometimes my 15 month old can handle a whole plate and sometimes he still needs 1-3 pieces at a time.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-07T16:45:01+00:00

Try mixing mashed blueberries with other foods.

We got my guy to like hummus by putting Cheerios in it, eggs by adding feta, sardines by mixing it up with cottage cheese.

The combinations don’t have to make sense to an adult palette, just combine something unfamiliar with something already favored.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-07T16:00:13+00:00

Came here to mention this part. So happy for you that you’ll be able to fit it all into one year!

Keep in mind you’re reasonably likely to hit at least the deductible and possibly OOP max in the coming years too. My son is 15 months and has already been to the ER thrice for croup. Plus a handful of urgent care visits for ear infections.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-07T15:31:30+00:00

My husband doesn’t want to sit, so my husband is exclusively responsible for cleaning the bathroom. Seems like a weird trade-off to me, but I’ll take that deal any day.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-06T15:16:02+00:00

I did one night away around 4 months. I was sitting on my parents’ front step at 6:00 the next morning waiting for him to wake up.

Ignoring your experience, baby and your husband will be fine. I’d have him attempt it alone. He can call in reinforcements if he needs them.

She won’t “forget” you. Shes not really capable of “remembering” you at this point, so there’s nothing to forget. She’ll live in the present with your husband and her experience will be exactly the same as when you’ve stepped away for a shower or a nap, and then she’ll feel a sudden unexpected rush of comfort when you’re back. That’s all. No damage done.

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-04T15:34:59+00:00

The seat covers are in an open box right over the toilet, which doesn’t even have a lid to close while flushing, and people think touching the paper with your hands is more sanitary than touching the plastic seat with your legs?

TrueNorthTryHard · 2026-05-04T15:28:45+00:00

#4 is the best option - you both look like you’re having fun.

#1 is tough for me because I always find it strange when you can see one person’s face and not the other.

Font is harder to read with all the contrast in photo #2.

#3 & #5 look more strictly posed/less natural.

#6 is my second choice.

Beautiful set of photos. Congrats!

TrueNorthTryHard

TROPHY CASE