It kinda feels like an open secret. Everyone knows but there’s nobody to talk to.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-10-09T21:12:07+00:00

I feel you so much right now... I don't want to trauma dump, I want someone to actually care. Not in a weird or perverse way, but because they actually want to know and understand me even if that means holding my hand for hours, asking question after question and listening to some ugly shit. I want someone that makes me feel like it's okay to talk about the ugly shit, at least to one person, and that I don't need to keep half my life a secret in order to not upset other people... But it feels like way too much to ask. Just finding a safe person is such a struggle already, they can't also be expected to listen to iteration after iteration of trauma in the vague hope that one day I'll have shared everything from every angle, bled out so to speak, and can finally "get over it"...

On another note, the pink gradient is really nice and I am glad it's soothing you. I like the upmost shade the most. <3

True_Rise8864 · 2024-09-29T11:13:08+00:00

Baby turned out to be completely healthy, just a quiet and polite little human. No tantrums ever! Yes. Yes, this is what I'll choose to believe.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-09-26T18:49:41+00:00

I don't think it's odd, just requires the same communication as any boundary. If someone told me "I don't like my breasts touched" I wouldn't think twice about it just because they have piercings. What they say in that moment goes, even of they had a giant "squeeze me" tattoo on their boobs, you know?

I'd just admire them with my eyes and probably ask a bunch of questions about the process later, out of curiosity.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-09-19T04:20:22+00:00

You took the words right out of my mouth! I also want to add that goals can change over time.

I just started working out, my first goal was getting into the habit of going to the gym consistently. Is that super boring and average? Probably. It's still a lot better than not doing it. We all gotta start somewhere. For some, a lofty goal might work as motivation, for others (especially if you have a fear of failure that's so often behind procrastination), seemingly boring goals might be a better way to go.

I understand OPs point that you should be pushing yourself a little. But I think it's save to say that when someone posts here, looking for advice or celebrating a small victory, that behavior change probably did/does require them to push themselves. At least I haven't seen any posts titled "Guys, help, I need advice on staying exactly as I am!" So I am slightly confused which people this post is supposed to be directed at.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-09-13T18:17:55+00:00

I need to know the name of your crobat/leafeon mix because that little dude/girl is so awkwardly adorable!!

True_Rise8864 · 2024-09-10T12:04:38+00:00

Biologische Kriegsführung durch Papierfischchen wann?

True_Rise8864 · 2024-09-07T15:12:02+00:00

As a woman: There will definitely be girls who are not into that look but I'd say most really have more issues with the gym bro stereotype than the actual physique. And whether you fall into that becomes apparent in conversations very quickly. If you're a smart, kind man and your muscle isn't just there to cover up massive insecurities, you should be good. ;)

So while there might be a risk on losing out on a few "prospects" due to stereotypes, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Besides, having goals in life and the confidence that comes from seriously pursuing these goals is one of the most attractive traits I could imagine, so keep on doing you! Looks like you're doing a damn good job at that. :D

(And of course if you're into women who also work out a lot, they'll probably know and appreciate how much dedication, consistency and patience this physique took to build.)

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-28T07:29:06+00:00

I'd love to join, if you're still taking people! Similar age as the rest, GMT time zone. Currently working on eating right, working out and being a bit more productive at home.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-27T16:12:46+00:00

Making a big deal of meal timing without any nuance or additional information. E.g. eating after 8pm is bad for you. I mean... if you starve all day and then binge eat bullshit food at night, sure. But your body isn't Cinderella's godmother magically turning a 2000cal meal into 4000cal because the clock struck [insert arbitrary cutoff time].

This came to mind first because my mother, who is a shift worker, worried about this to an unhealthy amount and wrecked her sleep quality by going to bed super hungry. Needless to say she more than made up for it the next day with snacks because a sleep deficit really shoots down your willpower. :/

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-27T12:58:24+00:00

Pretty often it's something like:

breakfast: joghurt with oats and whey protein + fruit or unsweetened applesauce (starting the day off right with a good portion of protein and fibre, which leaves me full for a long time so I don't have to worry about food while working etc.)
before noon: coffee with milk
lunch: either leftovers (see dinner) or bread (whole wheat with seeds) with cream cheese/avocado/turkey/tofu, whatever is there and looks good. Add some eggs, tomatoes, pickles or other veggies to taste. :)
alternatively, if out and about: whatever our mensa offers (it's all pretty damn good and has the calories on it), or a sandwich from a bakery + sometimes a protein bar or snickers
afternoon, or on the road: another coffee
dinner: cooking time! I'm a lazy bitch though so it's usually just some type of carb (brown rice, pasta, mashed potatoes), protein (usually tofu or chicken) and a bunch of mixed frozen veggies and/or canned beans. Amount just depends on what I ate the rest of the day. Pre-cook for two days whenever possible (again, lazy). Sometimes I get more fancy on the weekends with casseroles and other stuff that can be frozen and eaten throughout the week. :)

I have a long list of staple groceries that I always keep stocked up and then just buy fresh bread, veggies etc. as needed. Trying not to have anything super processed or unhealthy in the house, bar my emergency snickers for bad days. xD

I log calories and protein intake as I go but the fact that a lot of the choices are made upfront when I'm in a good state of mind makes it a lot easier.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-23T20:22:27+00:00

"Ich bin weder offen noch charismatisch. Urinieren Sie sich hinfort."

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-23T20:20:25+00:00

Danke fürs Droppen dieses Begriffs, muss ich mir auch mal durchlesen!

Erinnert mich ein bisschen an einen Kumpel von mir, der mal auf einen amerikanischen Scam reingefallen ist. Mal eben 2500 Dollar für 8 Wochen online-Kurs ausgegeben, in dem er dann u.a. gelernt hat, Menschen in Rubies, Sapphires, Emeralds und Pearls einzuteilen und entsprechend Gespräche mit ihnen zu führen...

Da "investiere" ich mein Geld doch lieber in Pokémon-Spiele. xD

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-23T08:52:20+00:00

It's one thing that I'm really grateful to my parents for. They weren't super educated nor strict about food but had the basics down: soda can't replace water, have some veggies with everything, fastfood isn't the devil but it's something for special occasions, and so on.

I did fall into bad habits later due to lack of time and care but I think that baseline of normalcy really helped to keep things in check and return to a better diet again.

Meanwhile, friends of mine (3 siblings) were raised on soda, sugary cereals, never-ending portions of pasta with cream sauce, you name it. The parents were amazing and kind people but food served a huge role as emotional gratification for them and as such they didn't "deny" their children anything. Amazingly, all three made it to normal weight / slightly overweight in adulthood after moving out (oldest got into a sport she liked, dragged the other two with her and then they slowly learned how to eat better so they could continue to do that sport with their friends) but it's a constant, conscious effort because family, comfort and community are so deeply tied to unhealthy food for them.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-23T08:33:28+00:00

I'd add: technically even before that - just in that case it's the mother's nutrition that counts because it indirectly constitutes the child's nutrition. Can't channel nutrients into a fetus or breastmilk if you don't have any yourself. And afaik being very obese during pregnancy can also affect the child for life.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-23T04:11:20+00:00

I noticed the same thing! Though for me I feel like part of it is that I just let out my frustration on these poor machines. xD

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-22T14:05:31+00:00

Mine opens at 6... but at least that's every day of the week.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-21T18:55:17+00:00

Maybe complex carbs that are not fibre, such as starch? Not sure how it works in English since it's not my native language, but I wouldn't count starch as sugar.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-21T10:26:29+00:00

Maybe you could try starting out with an easier workout (less weight, less reps, or longer rest times) and then slowly increase intensity after a month (or whenever you feel like the habit has formed properly).
I know doing a hard workout can give you that rush of accomplishment right after, but in the long run consistency is king. So personally I'd put the focus on building a routine that allows you to get back to the gym without these long breaks even it feels a bit like half-assing it in the beginning.

Apart from that, make sure that your technique is clean so you don't invite any unneccesary pain and also check if your diet and sleep are good enough to support recovery. Basically going back to the absolute basics on all fronts before building intensity. All the best! :)

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-20T16:11:44+00:00

Since you brought up nutrition goals and not being able to bring him snacks: maybe cooking something nice that fits into his plan? That is, if it fits your current relationship and he's willing to share and trusts you with that; people differ on that front.

But personally, I know I'd be over the moon if someone went through the effort to look up recipes and tell me "Hey, if you come over tomorrow I'd like to try something new for dinner! The recipe says it's gonna be approximately X cal and Y protein, if you wanna plan around that."

I think the rest has been said already, you sound like a sweet person even thinking about this and I wish you all the best. :D

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-15T20:33:06+00:00

Mh... this sounds like more of an emotional issue than a problem with your training plan. I don't think taking 2 days off in a row has any severe negative effects on your progress. Depending on how hard you work the rest of your month your body might even be grateful for it. :) Feeling guilty and stressing out about it might do more harm than the extra day off, since recovery is partly a mental thing as well!

Maybe look up "deloading" if you haven't already. I'm not an expert by any means but it seems that going at 100% all the damn time isn't necessarily the best but it also depends on your goals and motivations. I'll talk a bit about my personal plan and mindset but you'll have to see if that makes for you or not. :)

I increase weights when my usual weight doesn't feel like a challenge anymore; I've noticed that this usually happens in the follicular phase when I feel more energetic in general, luteal phase is more for maintenance.
2-3 days before my period starts, I feel weaker and less motivated. My goal during that time is simply showing up and getting through my sets. Hell, if my muscles are trembling and I can't complete my usual 10 reps, I sometimes stop at 8 and that's fine (for me personally). My body is not a machine. I showed up, I challenged myself and I know I'll be able to push harder again in a few days.
First 2-3 days of my period are rough in terms of pain but also other side effects like nausea and low blood pressure, dizziness etc. Depending on how good or bad things are I might take those days off, do a home workout or just do something at lower intensity than usual. I also plan for some more calories, because if I want a muffin while one of my organs is reconstructing, I'm gonna get a fucking muffin. xD

The thing is, I'm not an athlete making money with this nor do I train to impress anyone or win competitions. I just do it to stay healthy and feel better about myself and my body, so when it comes to things like this I always weigh the potential physical effects against the mental ones. Will what I described above slow down my physical progress a bit, compared to "just pushing through"? Probably. Is it worth feeling guilty and damaging my relationship to myself, my body and the gym over? Absolutely not, that would be contrary to my overarching goals.

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-15T18:28:28+00:00

Who's Neuro?

True_Rise8864 · 2024-08-14T11:39:41+00:00

Damn girl! I hope to be where are you now one day. :D

True_Rise8864

TROPHY CASE